Sunday, 9 August 2015

Twin are freaky

Full disclosure: I am a twin. I love being a twin. In general I think twins are great.

However, the thing that has been freaking me out most since I found out I was having twins was that these ones are identical.

I pretend it isn't. I talk to people about how I am going to get any sleep, or leave the house with two babies and a toddler but these are (comparatively) short term problems. That whole sharing DNA thing is going to stay with them forever.

In many ways the family I am about to have will mirror my own. I have a sister who is two years and three weeks older than my twin sister and I. Assuming I make it to my induction day Olive will be two years and 3 months older than her twin sisters.

My sisters and I get on brilliantly. We've always fought but tended to do it in rotation. Two would gang up against one. But not always the same two.

Growing up I was always pleased that my twin and I weren't identical. We were compared enough as it was, despite being markedly different in personalities and looks, if we'd looked the same I knew that people would completely fail to see us as individuals.

I want these little babies to become people in their own right. Not half of a whole.

I don't want Olive to feel left out of the "special bond" that people always claim twins have. (I am as close to my older sister as twin).

That programme, The Secret Life of Twins I mentioned last post, I found quite disturbing just how dependant some of the twins seemed on each other. I am sure many folk watched it and thought it would be brilliant to have their own special friend who will always be there. I just found it sad that the majority of the twins featured seemed unable to form relationships by themselves.

 *Spoiler alert* Look away now if you intend watching it. The most heartening story in the programme was the identical twins where one of the girls first came out as gay before realising it was more than that and realised she, now he, was transgender. The other remained a heterosexual female. Vive la difference.

What will be, will be. My twins might end up with a secret language and live in a cave together requiring no other human intervention. Or they might do their own thing and develop in such a way that they rarely seem identical.

However here are some pledges that I will make to them now:

  • I will not dress you the same. (Except for halloween obviously because that costume is a godsend). When people give you identical outfits, because they will, you will wear them on different days.
  • If you are very similar when born I will dab a bit of nail varnish on one of you (toe) so that I don't get you muddled in the early days.
  • I will not give you the same birthday and Christmas presents.
  • I will encourage you to develop your own hobbies
  • Wherever possible I will get you into different classes at school.
  • I will get to know you as individuals.
  • I won't call you Stacey and Tracey. In fact, all rhyming names are out.





7 comments:

  1. Identical twins are creepy. It looks like a mistake or a science project.

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  2. I would totally dress them the same, I don't think I'd be able to resist!

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  3. All the identical twins I have known have had personalities/skills/likes etc as different as any other siblings do. I don't think you need to get too worried...and if you over think it and force them to do different things then they might rebel and freak you out by copying eachother on purpose. My 3 girls love to get the same toys (different colours) so they can play together with them so hopefully you'll play that by ear and your 3 can set up awesome games together too. The different classes at school sounds a really good idea in theory but who knows, when you get to know them, you'll know what's right for them and it might not be what you think now. Nothing wrong with having a plan but any one of your three might cause you to need to keep it flexible. xxx

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  4. Here's a fun fact for you...they may be identical twins, but their fingerprints will still be different. (They might have similar patterns and look similar, but close inspection will reveal significant differences.) So if you're looking for a way to help them realize their full individuality, fingerprints are a good way. And, since fingerprints have a genetic component, they might have fingerprints that are also quite similar to Olive's. That might be fun to look at, once their fingers grow.

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  5. Don't go hard nose on the matching outfits yet. My boys are 28mo apart and for the sake of peace and ease they match sometimes. Otherwise it's I want my batman shirt too! Or he's wearing my favorite color!

    Also when out its much easier to look for one outfit in the crowd rather than remember two.

    ReplyDelete
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