Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Happy New Year

I'm not pregnant.

I feel compelled to start with that because the usual pattern when someone hasn't blogged for months and pops back is usually to make an announcement.

Not here.

I have been doing all I can to get pregnant. Well, doing the husband anyway. (I totally love writing things like that because I know that it makes all the folk who read this and know me and him in real life wince.)

I did have a pregnancy "scare" back in November.

Can you see that second line? If you can't you haven't been infertile for nearly long enough.

It was on a test that had been negative and I fished out of the bin, as you do, an hour later just to double check.

I then spent hours googling "faint line one hour after testing" and "is it a second line or evaporation line" on my phone.

The next morning I tested again a couple of hours later, I started my period.

Then in December my period was three days late.

I tested, quietly, on the 22nd on December and in the three minutes I waited for the result I had visions of wrapping up the stick and giving it to the husband to open with his other presents on Christmas morning.

As much as the husband would like another child I suspect a little part of him is quite happy he didn't unwrap a piss-soaked stick along with his chocolate money and tangerine.

Once again no sooner had I used the expensive test my period started. I know there can't really be a correlation between using a pregnancy test and starting ones period but it has happened so often to me over the years I wonder if there isn't some period starting chemical released by the tests.

So here we are in January and despite being more regular than I've ever been in my life my infertility hasn't been magically cured. I'm waiting for this month's period and we prepare for a frozen embryo transplant.

Unless I get pregnant this month of course.

No one can say I'm not a ridiculous optimist.


  1. Well, sometimes I can agree that you're ridiculous! ;)

    Much luck - whether it's with the frozen embryo or otherwise...

  2. Here is to a successful 2015. I

  3. That is definitely a second line. WFI I totally understand you. It seems every man and his dog is falling magically pregnant the second time or really easily with IVF. Sigh. Here's to good things for 2015!

  4. Thank you for giving me the option to prove I have "been infertile for (nearly) long enough." Also I didn't even need to squint to see that second line, so no reading glasses for me either.(yet) Wishing you good luck urban legend style this month, and scientific style for the next. (and uh, generally for the rest of the year then)

  5. While I do understand being frustrated being regular and still struggling with infertility, you have frozen embryos waiting for you and that is amazing! I guess I just don't understand why people who struggle with infertility want the urban legend surprise pregnancy when they have frozen embryos waiting. I say this as a mom of both fresh and frozen transfers... There is no part of me that feels cheated I didn't have a spontaneous pregnancy. I know, I know, it's all an individual process, I just truly believe you have so much possibility coming around the corner to look forward to! Good luck!

  6. No doubt I would have jumped for joy at the sight of that test. That was a second line for sure! I'm sorry it wasn't to be. Keep up to that optimism. Wishing you lots and lots of luck. This month...or with your FET!

  7. Ugh. I can see the second line. Hoping for a happy outcome asap. Xx

  8. Happy New Year sweetness.

    Yeah, I can see that second line. That awful line full of false hope. DAMN YOU FALSE LINE!

    What about the farts that totally feel like those butterfly kicks that you convince yourself that are totally baby kicks and maybe just maybe you just forgot and you ARE pregnant? Stupid brains.

    Sending all the love and all the vibes your way. xxx


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