Friday, 30 January 2015

We have a plan

It wasn't as bad going into the waiting room Olive as I had anticipated.

My clinic has two waiting rooms - one for folk at the coal face waiting for scans, blood tests, drugs, etc and one in a different part of the building for people who are waiting for a consultation with the doctor.

The former is always rammed, the second not so much.

Today there was just one woman waiting by herself. She came over to the coffee machine where I had strategically placed myself as far away from her as possible not thinking she might need a drink so ended up being in her way.

"Sorry" I apologised, meaning 'sorry that I bought my kid to a fertility clinic'.

"Its fine I can get past" she said meaning 'there is plenty of space between the pram and coffee machine why on earth are you apologising'.

So then I had to explain.

"I mean for bringing her, I couldn't find anyone to take her, but if it is any consolation she was made downstairs."

Yeah, I'm way more articulate in text than speech.

She was absolutely fine about it, said it was her first consultation - so she hasn't got to the avoiding children stage and anyway her niece was conceived here too.

The consultation itself was fine. The Doctor had skimmed my notes so had a vague idea of the plan but had missed a few crucial point like I'd never had a regular period until I restarted my periods after Olive.

I explained that now seemed to have stopped as well given that I was on day 39 now with no period or pregnancy to show for it.

The plan - and I write this more for my benefit (memory) than for yours - is:


  • Wait for period to start
  • Call clinic book in a 3D scan of my womb 
  • Day 7 to 13 have scan and blood test for all the other things that they need to double check - Vitamin D, TSH, T3, T4 (nope no idea either google it), Anti-thyroid antibodies. I also need a liver function test and fasting blood glucose because I'll be necking some steriods again.
  • Day 14 start primolut for 25 days
  • Day 21 have womb biopsy to double check that womb nasties haven't returned
  • Approx day 41 (Couple of days after primolut ends) bleed 
  • Day 1 of that period - scan
  • Day 2 start cetrotide and steriods
  • Approx day 7 Intralipids
  • Approx day 14 bung one of my two frozen embryos back in
  • Wait
Plan B is very similar expect it kicks into action in 10 days if my period hasn't started - at which point I I go straight to the scan stage and, assuming I'm not pregnant, start the primolut.

I know last time I did IVF I was writing with a 12 week delay - this time, I promise I am doing this live.  So for the outcome your guess is as good as mine (possibly better judging by previous performances). 

Thursday, 29 January 2015

I am the person you hate

Yesterday I wasn't at work and was looking after my nephew who is nine months older than Olive.

The wombmate and I currently live two minutes walk from each other. I'll have to write an another post about that, but for the moment that is all you need to know. A friend of her gave her an old double buggy so it is pretty easy taking both the kids out if one of us needs help.

So yesterday afternoon I took the two toddlers, and dog, to the park. 

My appointment with the new IVF Doctor is tomorrow and my period hasn't started yet. I've already had one negative test but I decided I better take another one, or two, tests before the appointment so I could say with utter conviction that I wasn't pregnant.

Of course I didn't have a pregnancy test in the house.

So on the way to the park I struggled into the pharmacy with a massive double buggy and two angelic looking under three years old and bought a couple of pregnancy tests.

For all intents and purposes I looked like not just a fertile, but an uber fertile.

Then for tomorrow's appointment there is no one around to look after Olive.

I am going to be that woman. The one in the IVF waiting room with a one and a half year old baby.

We all hate her.

I hate her.

But I will be there because the test was, of course, negative. 

Monday, 26 January 2015

A slight delay

I've been procrastinating.

I decided I wanted to do IVF again in January, but then knew my clinic always shuts for its massive deep clean in early January and combine that with Christmas it was all getting a bit tricky timewise.

So I decided to get the frozen embryo transfer after my first period of the New Year. For those in not in the know they time the transfer with when ovulation would be naturally - so approximately two weeks after your period. However with me I take a bunch of drugs from the start of my period so i need to be on it from day one.

My period was due to start on Saturday and I procrastinated, and put things off and didn't get in touch with my clinic until last Wednesday.

I don't know why I was putting it off, other than fear and an inbuilt optimism that I might be pregnant.

Not surprisingly my IVF doctor emailed me back on Friday to tell me that we need another appointment before starting so this month wasn't possible however if I have an appointment this week we should be able to have a transfer with my next period (current due around the end of February).

Slight hitch. My Doctor is only consulting on Thursdays and doesn't have a free appointment until well into March.

I love my IVF Doctor. She is sympathetic, she remembers me, she got me pregnant last time.

Still fuck that for sentimentality I'm seeing someone new on Friday. (At the same clinic with access to my notes so I am just going to ask for the same again.)

Slight spanner in the works is the period that was due on Saturday still hasn't actually arrived (and I am writing this is real time - it is Monday now). I've taken a pregnancy test and that isn't the cause of its tardiness, it seems my womb might be getting up to its old tricks again so good job I'm seeing a Doctor on Friday time to whip it back into shape.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Happy New Year

I'm not pregnant.

I feel compelled to start with that because the usual pattern when someone hasn't blogged for months and pops back is usually to make an announcement.

Not here.

I have been doing all I can to get pregnant. Well, doing the husband anyway. (I totally love writing things like that because I know that it makes all the folk who read this and know me and him in real life wince.)

I did have a pregnancy "scare" back in November.

Can you see that second line? If you can't you haven't been infertile for nearly long enough.

It was on a test that had been negative and I fished out of the bin, as you do, an hour later just to double check.

I then spent hours googling "faint line one hour after testing" and "is it a second line or evaporation line" on my phone.

The next morning I tested again a couple of hours later, I started my period.

Then in December my period was three days late.

I tested, quietly, on the 22nd on December and in the three minutes I waited for the result I had visions of wrapping up the stick and giving it to the husband to open with his other presents on Christmas morning.

As much as the husband would like another child I suspect a little part of him is quite happy he didn't unwrap a piss-soaked stick along with his chocolate money and tangerine.

Once again no sooner had I used the expensive test my period started. I know there can't really be a correlation between using a pregnancy test and starting ones period but it has happened so often to me over the years I wonder if there isn't some period starting chemical released by the tests.

So here we are in January and despite being more regular than I've ever been in my life my infertility hasn't been magically cured. I'm waiting for this month's period and we prepare for a frozen embryo transplant.

Unless I get pregnant this month of course.

No one can say I'm not a ridiculous optimist.