Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Trying Again?

As intimated in this post I didn't want to wait too long before I give IVF another shot.

The husband and I have agreed that we don't want to do another full round of IVF so if I have another child it will either be thanks to one of the two frozen embryos I have left, or a unexpected natural conception (and if its the latter, and a girl, I'm totally calling her Phoebe - or Freebe).

Ideally a two year gap works but, holy shit, for a two year gap I'd need to get a wriggle on - I'd need to get pregnant in October.

I've not been idle. In January I went for another womb scrape to check the nasties that had hung around in there before hadn't reappeared - I got the all clear so last month I trotted off to the Doc to get a plan for the next round of IVF.

We were talking about timings and I mentioned I was still breast feeding - I knew I'd need to stop before IVF but what I hadn't counted on was that my Doctor wants me to have three period before the next round. Knowing how reluctant my periods are to show themselves she said that once I stopped breastfeeding I should give her a call and get some drugs to bring on a period about a month after then, then do that for two more months.

Immediately I started to panic wondering how quickly I could stop breast feeding and whether I could meet my self-imposed deadline of October.

Then I breathed.

There is no panic or rush.  My embryos are frozen they aren't getting any older.

More importantly I have the most amazing daughter already. I would love another child but if it doesn't happen I know how incredibly lucky I am to have one, specifically to have her. Why should I rush to stop breast feeding when she loves it? And she really does love the boob. There was I thinking noone could love my breasts more than the husband, she puts his passion to shame when she gleefully clamps on guzzling away. Maybe it is hereditary. So I decided to chill out and see when breastfeeding peters out naturally.

Then she got teeth.

And sharp, grabby finger nails, that like to dig into my soft booby flesh.

Today I called a halt to daytime breast feeding.

I can't see the nighttime feed lasting too much longer either.

I don't think I'll quite make the October deadline to stop feeding and have three periods but I might not be too far off.