Thursday, 11 April 2013

I've Changed

Now that I am half way through my pregnancy it is time to discuss the changes that I have experience since getting up the duff.

There are the normal things:

Never having been bulimic throwing up on a daily basis has been a novel experience – and the one that keeps giving. I am no longer choosing my breakfasts based on the likelihood of it easing the nausea (it doesn’t) but more on the degrees of revolting it is on its way back up. Toast = good. Yoghurt/ dairy = bad.

I am getting fatter. To the untrained eye I wouldn’t say I look pregnant just stoutly girthed. As a celebration after my 20 week scan I bought a pair of maternity trousers. Not because I couldn’t fit into my pre-pregnancy togs but because I have spent so long putting off buying new clothes “in case I get pregnant” the strides I have been wearing for the past few years finally fell apart and I felt it would be indecent for me walk around showing my arse off to all and sundry.

My boobs are weird. They have grown (much to the husband’s delight, a few weeks ago before they grew he was muttering about wanting a refund – which was frankly greedy as they have never been small). But the nipples have grown too, and got darker. I found myself gazing at them in awe in the mirror the other day in much the same way one does when leafing through National Geographic, you know with a scientific, anthropological bent.

All of these things should, I know, make the pregnancy feel more real. And I guess they do. I have no doubt I am pregnant. The idea that I will have a baby at the end is still too much to contemplate and difficult to associate with these bodily changes.

Oh and the other day, in the supermarket, a jar of gherkins caught my eye.

I had a little giggle to myself thinking, now I'm pregnant I should be craving these.

Ha.

Ha, ha.

Ha.

Mmm ... tangy ... crunchy goodness.

They went in the basket. I have yet to couple them with ice-cream, but I'll keep you posted on that culinary delight.

The most dramatic change however has been my ability to start to 'look' again.

A couple of weeks ago I walked past a woman with a young baby it was only as I peered into the pram (as I strolled past not in a creepy getting all in the crib type way) that it occurred to me I hadn’t done that for a very long time. It had become instinctive to look away from a pram. It wasn’t even a conscious thing, but now I am looking at all these gorgeous, chubby-cheeked youngsters again I realised how long I must have been averting my gaze whenever I came into contact with a stranger’s baby. Not with friends, obviously, because that would be odd - going round to a mates see a new kid and blanking it wouldn’t be considered polite.

Mind you I am going to have to have words with the wombmate at her insistence at calling me with “face-time”. I love seeing my little nephew but don’t enjoy also checking myself out in the thumbnail picture in the corner, and she does have an annoying habit of telling me how he was just giggling but can’t understand why he has now stopped. Just a guess, mate, but possibly shoving a camera in his face with a close up of a bedraggled looking Aunty Lizzie has scared the shit out of the little dude....



9 comments:

  1. He's just camera shy. You're not that scary!

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  2. I'm so glad you've started to look again. I can relate... for so long I would buy something here and there, put it in a tub with hopeful longing. It's been a while. And while I may not be making any purchases at least I'm perusing the toy aisle. Creepy... kind of.

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  3. I have just had a 2nd IVF attempt and came back negative. I only said to a friend the other day that I don't notice anymore the prams and the pregnant woman walking pass me, or if I do, I look away.It's a coping mechanism I think - facebook for me has gone out the window as well, I just cannot see all the 'guess what!!!' annoucements anymore. Hopefully (soon), I will get where you are and can once again notice such things and enjoy x

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  4. I actually stood in the park today and had a chat with a lady with a baby in a sling. The baby kept giving me the best grins and I found myself enjoying it...... weird! So this is what normality feels like....

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  5. 20 weeks is an amazing milestone. Good for you for being able to look. I never had the problem with the babies, it was, and ironically still is, the pregnant bellies. And I hate face.time/sky.pe both annoy me with the little pic of me...I always look horrendous. But maybe your nephew is just enthralled with your beauty....I'll go with that :)

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  6. Our relatives are all desperate to do Skype with Baby Spouse. We hate it and have refused, especially after I couldn't tell the difference between my two nieces (3 years apart in age).

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  7. Darling Liz! I am in tears. I have no idea how I have been able to miss your glorious news (well I do - its called full time teaching for an entire term and not having much time to enjoy blog reading).
    Congratulations. I am so happy for you. SO happy for you. Incredibly happy for you ....and (I read) your GIRL!!!!
    Sending you enormous, gentle hugs (I know you hate fake ones but that's all I can send from here) and many gratuitous exclamation marks because I am that happy for you, it truly is worthy of the extra exclamation or ten!!!!!!!!!

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  8. I'm wondering? Has pregnancy heightened your sense of smell?
    I developed an olfactory super-sense in first pregnancy that was almost on a par with a dog. I'd sniff fruit, press my nose into a jar of ginger jam and inhale (not drink) from the whiskey bottle. I was addicted to it because it smelt amazingly divine. The downside was that bad smells were really unbearable. The waft of salt and vinegar crisps and smelly sock could make me gag.
    I would have had to make a hasty retreat if you can anywhere near me with that jar of gherkins!

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  9. I somehow missed your WONDERFUL news in the midst of my own baby madness, sleep deprivation and general hectic living & trying to convince myself I can still do it all. Well, obviously not; I have now caught up on blog reading and I am SO happy for you, SO happy. Congratulations and all the best with the following 20 weeks - you just wait! ;)

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