Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Six Years


Despite being together for 11 years before getting married the husband and I do not have a special song.

We didn’t share our first kiss to the strains of Celine Dion (it was in a pub car park to the gentle sounds of passing drunks).

We didn’t have one of those moments where we both realised our first album was the same (mine - First of a Million Kisses by Fairground Attraction, his - The Riddle by Nik Kershaw).

We don’t even share a karaoke playlist. (He won’t sing, I can’t – but give it a bloody good shot at which point most people in the vicinity make their excuses and disappear to the loo, bar or nearest bridge whilst donning concrete boots).

So choosing a song for our first dance when we got married was hard work.

It consisted of listening to short blasts of songs and either dismissing them or putting them on a maybe list. We used up The Carpenters “Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear...” for me to walk up the aisle to. And, obviously, played Stevie's “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” when we signed the register.

Eventually for the first dance we settled on Minnie Riperton's “Inside My Love”. It's a classic soul song, we both loved it, it was romantic. A five second snippet confirmed our choice, job done and we got on to more important wedding planning stuff – like food and drink.

Now, I have a personal abhorrence of quoting song lyrics on my blog. I’ll be honest with you – if any of you have quoted a song on yours I’ve skipped it. But I am going to break that rule because you really needs to read the lyrics of the chorus of the song we chose for our first dance:

You can see inside me
 Will you come inside me?
 Do you wanna ride inside my love?
 You can see inside me
 Will you come inside me?
 Do you wanna ride inside my love?

Essentially the husband and I spent 4mins 43seconds of our wedding lurching around the dance floor in front of all our friends and family whilst Minnie Riperton encouraged the husband to ejaculate inside me.

Over.

And over.

And over again.


Which was nice.

Don't get me wrong, it was apt, because prior to our wedding he all but double-bagged his old chap such was his paranoia about contraception. Once the ring was on my finger the prophylactics were in the bin. And, without wanting to be too graphic he was positively encouraged to come inside me.

Last Saturday was our six year wedding anniversary, last Sunday marked six year since we first had sex without contraception.

The irony is, of course, that six years on because of the Provera progesteroning-up my system he categorically can't come inside me, because you know we are trying to get pregnant the scientific way.

Eventually.





Sunday, 11 November 2012

The Results Show!

When I asked how many embryos I should put back last post, I genuinely couldn't decide what the right course of action would be. I didn't know which way you'd vote and if I had to guess, I expected a 50/50 split between putting one back or putting two and I'd be no closer to making a decision - I'd chalk it up to an interesting experiment in blogging, but pay no more attention to the results than those people who ask you to arbitrate on an argument between them and their partner when all they really want to hear is "you were right."

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Of the 31 comments (plus two emails) I got, the split was (and don't go back and check because lots of you added caveats to your answers but I went with the response I felt you were leaning towards):
One back = 23
Two back = 4
"Up to you" / pros and cons of both / sitting elegantly on the fence = 6

However it wasn't just the overwhelming numbers of ones verses twos that had me convinced. It was the fact that you had rational reasons behind your choices.

Some highlights:
Brave IVF Girl: "There are immune-related cases where one bad embryo can ruin the environment for a good embryo."

Guinevere: "Sometimes miscarrying one causes the other to be lost too."

Nic: "I always wished that I had only thawed one and put that one in. That way, if the one didn't survive the thaw they would be able to thaw another one."

Rainy City Girl: "I would do one at a time ... as the ladies pointed out, the uterine environment changes every cycle and who knows when it is ideal."

Jessica Milln: "The natural order is to have one baby at a time - unless you are a sheep."

(In case you are wondering, I can categorically confirm that I am not a sheep.

Baa.

Oops.)

Pundelina: "I'd suggest you only do one at a time, maximise your chances and the health of baby-to-come. Single Embryo Transfer as it's safer for both mother and babies ... and costs the healthcare system far less."

A few of you asked about embryo quality. Oddly enough I don't really know what the quality is. All three got to blastocyst so that is good. Also, I am getting rather blase about embryo quality. I've read of so many people having a straggling, poorly-graded bunch of cells put back in and nine months later a beautiful baby (or two) - see T's response:

"The only reason I put back two last year was because they were not brilliant quality, so I figured their chances were better fresh than frozen, and anyway I was convinced in would not work. The power of negative thinking ..."

I could have quoted any of you. You all made valid points - even those of you that went against the grain and plumped for two.

Thank you.

But of course my top comment was from Anonymous: "You're my IVF hero so I've no doubt you'll make the right decision for you."


What?! It isn't all about good advice, this blog's other purpose is to serve as a conduit for an ego massage for me.