Monday, 10 September 2012

Undies Agony - NSFW due to the obscene pictures

Dear Aunty Lizzie,

Animal print undies? Sexy or a hideous combo of Del Boy and Jeremy Kyle guest?
 
Would appreciate your insights.

Love, KitKat x

ps for context: I used to be firmly of the latter opinion, but on a recent trip to the UK - where I originally hail from, despite being a born-again Aussie these days - I ventured into La Senza and was seduced by a leopard print bra and knickers. The husband likes them too, although appears to prefer them on the floor to on me :-)

Dear KitKat or should I call you Tiger?

How delightful that some has, at long-last, recognised me for the style icon I have always aspired to be.

I'll be honest, the first thing I thought of was Peter Stringfellow in his leopard skin thong. Which wasn't pleasant. And because I polluted my brain with that thought I am going to inflict it on you:






For those of you of a foreign persuasion the above runs a lap-dancing club and has a penchant for being photographed on holiday with his current teenage girlfriend wearing matching thongs. (And in case your naturalised Australian-tendencies has made you forget, KitKat, I'm not talking about the type you wear on your feet.)

Aussie leopard print thong:

All kinds of wrong:

On reflection, however, I realised before I judge I should look to my own wardrobe. And it isn't an animal print free zone. I had, until I wore them out (but which I mean wore to death not simple wore outside),  a lovely pair of zebra-print shoes and my leopard print-scarf adds a touch of glamour to a winter coat. I also love my crocodile skin bag (I am pretty sure this is real, picked-up for me by my mother-in-law at a charity shop).

But underwear? I worry is is a bit more Bette Lynch tacky than Bette Davies glamour.

Kitkat mentioned a specific brand so I went on an internet hunt and found this:


If wearing this underwear made me as happy as they seem to be with nothing but their pals and a wind machine for company then sign me up for the set.

But the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and if your husband feels the urge to rip them off and throw them to the floor the question is - once the offending articles are removed, does he a) walk away in disgust with a withering "never wear those in my presence again" or b) ravish you?

If the latter, I say Go Girl.

Yours in anticipation of more action (and credit card in hand),

WFI


All pictures flagrantly stolen from t'internet - soz.

****

I'm all out of letters, so if any of you feel you could benefit from my wisdom next Monday do please send them in.



3 comments:

  1. Dear Auntie Lizzy,

    I'm a 35 year old woman who is considering dyeing my hair a wildly different color. Currently it's a nice chestnut brown, but I'd like something a bit different. I'm thinking red. My step-daughter has been talking blue all summer. My question is at what age are you too old to play with colors in your hair?

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the tip Aunty Lizzie, and particularly liked the "thong" clarification... Although your Peter Stringfellow association might have put a bit of a spanner in the works of my being-ravished... Euw, mental images, be gone!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. NSFW ... how about NSFH(ome)!!! My eyes are still recovering.

    Your thong lesson reminds me of when the young teenage version of me went with my friend to join a gym. "No thongs," they told us. I couldn't understand. "Why do you care if I wear a thong?" I asked. "Not that kind," they snapped back. My friend didn't stop laughing at me for ages.

    ReplyDelete

I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!