Thursday, 30 August 2012

So how are things with me and my sister?

I saw the womb-mate yesterday.

My pregnant twin sister. Who is now entering her eighth month of pregnancy.

Doesn't time fly?

For the first hour or so we chatted, mostly about me, 'cause that is how I roll. Not about infertility.

Just me generally.  What can I say? I am fascinating.

Every so often I'd remember that conversations are two-way so I'd throw in a question about her midwife appointment or work.

But I was absolutely fine.  Not even a twinge of jealousy or tears. Not a despondent moment.

Until, that is, she asked what she could do to make things easier for me when talking about her pregnancy (I hadn't even been aware she had been talking about it, it was still all about me). She also confessed that last time we'd met up her husband had kicked her under the table at one point.  She couldn't remember what she'd said but something that an infertile doesn't need to hear. I can't remember what she said so it can't have been too insensitive. Although now I am worried I'll have to have the whole spousal abuse chat with her.

Then I had a little watery eye moment.

If I'm honest though, the most upsetting point was when she talked about her weight gain over this pregnancy. Shame-faced she whispered what her scales were currently tipping at. Which just so happens to be that same as my target weight for which I am back at the gym trying and achieve.

Did I mention that she is eight months pregnant?

And we are the same height?

Now that is enough to make me cry myself to sleep.


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Thanks for the problem letters.  I've got a couple lined up - but rather than spam your timelines I am trying to just answer one a week, on a Monday, but do keep them coming. They are so much fun to do!



23 comments:

  1. Jeez, she must be tiny then, bcs you are tiny! Maybe you've got more in the boob area...

    x

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    1. Dude this has always been my thing. She has tiny boobs so I think weighing more is OK because I've been blessed in other ways. But soon she'll be plum full of milky breast goodness too.

      I'm surprised you've never met her.

      That is an oversight, I'll get you both round for tea one day after "it" so that you can do the competative baby comparing thing whilst I try and feed you both up with cake. (Yes J9, before you wade in, you can come too).

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    2. I deffo think that's the key. I'm sure I'm actually extremely slender, it's just the boobs the scales is confused about.

      I've been around to your sister's house to wee at carnival before but she wasn't there.

      That would be great! But I'll probably just sneak off and have a quick kip instead of compare and contrasting!

      xx

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    3. You have met, I'm sure....

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    4. Oh I think I'm getting you mixed up with LB.

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    5. I'm quite concerned what will happen to Caroline No's boobs.

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  2. Agghhh ... cringing for you. And full of admiration for you for throwing in even a tiny midwife appointment tidbit. That's more than I could do.

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    1. I'm usually not too bad once I've got over the initial shock of the announcement (which with her wasn't so much of a shock as for most - did you click on the link?). Obviously things are tougher than ever because I would have been just two months behind her. but it is better than both being barren.

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    2. I'm always bad, shock or no shock :/
      I did read the link. You're going to be an awesome *unt.

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  3. I have skinny sister with no boobs. They have my father's genes and I have my mother's plumper more rounded ones. With age I notice that they are beginning to look a bit more scrawny with wrinkles than I do. A bit of extra weight is like botox on the inside. Consider this your genetic trump card :-)

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    1. Yesss! I knew there would be an upside. My two sisters take after my Mum and once I started growing breasts they'd tease me that I'd be like my Dad's sister - Aunty Babs. Shudder!

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  4. Good on ya girl for asking about a midwife.. Better than me, lady, I'd be looking directly into the eyes the whole time and ignoring it altogether. (I am pure evil, though).

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    1. I know, but despite everything I do need to know that if I can't pass my own genes on they'll live on in my niece / nephew.

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  5. I don't know how cheesey or inappropriate this is, but I have to say, in the loving people more than anything else in the world immediately upon meeting them deal, my neices and nephew were a close second to my daughter. It's magic, I hope it will help your heart a bit.

    You are kick ass as usual.

    In boob related news, I have one whole sister, and 2 half sisters, one from each parent. My whole sister and I? No boobs. Nothing. My half sisters? Got all the boob allotment for both sides of the family. Annoying.

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    1. Yeah i already have two nephews (and a niece via the husband's side) and there is an extra special bond.

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  6. wow- stronger than me- I had breakfast with my sister and we did not discuss it at all (apart from my husband congratulating her). It may get easier closer to the due date, but for now am grateful she lives on the other side of the country.
    Plumpness seems to be a youth enhancer from the mid-30s (finally)- as per this meme (full disclosure, this is my husband's blog that has been neglected sadly) http://whatiseeinthesky.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/not-all-51-year-olds-are-made-equal.html

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    1. I think if I hadn't mentioned it that would have been pretty harsh. This is the most important thing in her life and she is still scared. she needs my support. I am sure once you get use to your sister's condition it'll be easier.

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  7. I miscarried at 15 weeks (miscarriage #4), and my sister was 5 weeks ahead of me. It's strained our relationship only because I feel so cheated. That being said I love my nephew so much, it's just hard to deal with the pity I feel from them and my own sadness.

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    1. It is tough. it is such a physical reminder of what should have been. But god, 4th miscarriage at 15 weeks.

      Just horrendous.

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  8. I guess the upside to your wombmate's pregnancy is that you'll be getting a niece or nephew to spoil. I don't necessarily think sisters need to be as considerate as friends, seeing as they probably were quite rude throughout other times in life. You kind of get used to getting the straight dirt from them without regard to feelings. Good for you for asking about her, anyway.

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    1. We did agree that once the baby arrives if she starts becoming a baby bore I will be able to tell her to shut up without offending her!

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  9. You're perfect as you are. :-)

    Your sister must have those little, light bones. Mine are made of element 118, Ununoctium. I'm a medical marvel, I am.

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  10. I'm glad to hear how well you handle being around your sister, although it's hard of course. And you are not alone in fighting off the weight, ugh, it's really tough to deal with.

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