Thursday, 2 August 2012

One Track

I am fucking loving the Olympics.

Forget my natural cynicism and the British tendency to be a bit too modest. “What this old thing? Oh we just dusted off a bit of east London we found at the back of our wardrobe and popped in a couple of running tracks. Do you like it? It was nothing really.”

However because I have a one track mind (fertility not sex – no, the two are in no way related in my experience) I can’t help but think about the competitors from a baby making perspective.

I wonder how many athletes have put their baby making plans on hold until after the games. Just a week and a half all the nubile, healthy, athletes will be getting down to it as soon as the closing ceremony begins. Although on a side note, rumours of Grindr crashing through-over use when the athletes descended on Olympic village did amuse me – they clearly have a lot of excess energy to burn off. (For those of you who don’t know what Grindr is don’t google it at work.)

Thirty–one year old cyclist Victoria Pendleton, is engaged to be married, and has already announced that she plans to retire after the games. I anticipate a pedalling of tiny feet in the not too distant future.

Although whilst I'm thinking about cyclists I am relieved to hear that Bradley Wiggins already has two children. Because after his Tour De France tour de force followed by yesterday's win my concern was less for his gold medals and more for his brass nuts. I can’t help but wonder what state his swimmers must be in after being sweatilly pressed into a cycling saddle for the best part of two months.

Talking of swimmers. Those blokes really do have some impressive ... muscle tone.

Mmmmmm

What’s that? Irrelevant to my infertility ramblings? Come on, I’m only human.

Maybe I do have a two track mind after all.



13 comments:

  1. I don't know what is says for the state of our minds, but I had a very similar thought when I saw Wiggins win yesterday.

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  2. You know who have impressive...muscle tone? Those male gymnastics! I admit that when realizing I was the only person in my department who was actually out at the office yesterday, I went home early so that I could catch the all-around final.

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  3. I've really only seen women compete, and I wonder if they have any body fat at all.

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  4. I think you should have your own radio station during the Olympics offering the 'alternative' commentary

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  5. I think you should have your own radio station during the Olympics offering the 'alternative' commentary

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  6. There are a few women on the Australian team who have 3 year olds- they "retired" after beijing, had child and then jumped back in the saddle. Among that bunch are one of the two women rowers who got silver (behind GB, so you can't quite have it all then) and one of the divers. Worth noting though that the rower is the first mother to win a rowing medal EVER, apparently. possibly the first mother to compete (at least for Australia) in rowing.
    The swimmers don't generally do it for me, but the (male) rowers? Definitely a sport worth watching.

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  7. "Forget my natural cynicism and the British tendency to be a bit too modest. “What this old thing? Oh we just dusted off a bit of east London we found at the back of our wardrobe and popped in a couple of running tracks. Do you like it? It was nothing really.”

    As per usual, you manage to completely crack me up with your words.
    XX

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  8. Ah, swimmers. It really is the loveliest physique of all. (And, for once, I'm not talking about the scrotal variety). Though I do also agree with the point above about rowers.

    I read an article lately that claimed the Olympic Village is basically one huge testosterone-fueled sexfest, requiring several tons of prophylactics daily. Ah. Those Ancients really did teach us a thing or two.

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  9. There's that male swimmer who wears white trunks that go rather translucent when wet... ohhh *fans self*.

    There are a couple of athletes who really are infertile, famously swimmer Dara Torres. WE GET EVERYWHERE. Peace out.

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  10. I love British papers because they publish pics like the one I saw the other day, captioned along the lines of "underwater camera captures more than just a graceful landing" - under an image of a just-plunged-into-the-pool diver's suit halfway down his rear end. Delightful. (Seriously.)

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  11. I was also wondering the same thing! There will be a big athlete baby boom soon!

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  12. I do the same thing! I do it for just about everything anymore.

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