Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Baby Boom

No one with a clitoris and a kindle can be ignorant of the publishing sensation that is Fifty Shades of Grey.

I’ll be honest with you I haven’t read the book, not because of any latent prudishness or high-brow snobbery but mainly because I read a review that said it was shite and I am currently engrossed in the Game of Thrones books. (Although despite my best efforts the husband is still steadfastly refusing to call me m'lady... or wear a codpiece.)

But I digress, you know what this Shades of Grey phenomenon means for us, right?

The next year or so will see a baby boom of epic proportions as fertile ladies get pepped up and randy. Expect a surge in kids born in 2012/13 called Anastasia or Christian*.

I wondered whether this was a blip replicated elsewhere in history and look what I found. See this graph of birth dates in the UK in the twentieth centrury. You can clearly see three peaks:

source: BBC 

Around 1920 – explained no doubt by all the men coming back from the First World War into the loving arms of their women folk.

Around 1947 – as above, replace First World War with Second.

Early 1960s – what could this be? Well, ladies – and you heard it hear first this is a result of my own research* – what happened in 1960?

The Lady Chatterly’s Lover trial.

When grot became mainstream.

So my dears, time to prepare yourself for more pregnancy announcements at work, home and Facebook. 

Still, at least instead of shedding a jealous tear when they announcement is made, or steeling yourself for asking pertinent questions about due dates and morning sickness, you can amuse yourself by responding to each announcement with a surprised: “Oh, so you enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey then?” accompanied by a cheeky wink

*see, research: I found out the names of the book's lead chararcters.

* You’re impressed aren’t you? I haven't bothered to see if there is another widely accepted reason for this peak - why would I when I have come up with such an incontrovertible thesis?


  1. Enjoy the first few books and then wince as you chug through the later ones. Lord knows that man will introduce a monor character and explore every goddamn tangent rather than advance his main story. Alas, ye editors were beheadeed.

    Boo on soft porn baby boom. Boo.

  2. And, Happy Birthday on Saturday too... (Thanks to LFCA)

  3. There's a running joke about how I"m going to have to work over time in say 8-9 months time because of the 50 shades thing and then add to that the movie MAGIC MIKE....it's going to be a long 9 months.....But you couldn't have said it better....

  4. ha. I haven't read them (because i have read a few scathing reviews) but I did peruse a few of the mocking website- 50 shades of suck etc.
    Spoiler Alert

    She gets pregnant in the last book (which is not a surprise as based on Twilight) and most disturbing quote EVER- baby is active after they have indulged in some form of sex (not sure if she has "cured" him of the BDSM yet) "look our daughter already loves sex".
    - ick.

    So twilight has managed to steal three liked baby names- i liked Edward Christian and Isabell as names, but refuse to have a child (if i ever do) that will grow up with the knowing smirk "your mum loved twilight/50 shades"

  5. So far I have refused to read this solely based on the fact that she was inspired by Twilight.

    That and I feel like watching porn is less time consuming.

  6. They are expecting (HA!) a baby boom stateside too. I have not read them for the same reason you haven't, I heard they are garbage (not for sex but the writing in general).

    I like your hypothesis.

  7. Between 50 Shades of Grey and the film Magic Mike, I also expect a huge baby boom by the early Spring, lol. Women here in the US are going back to see Magic Mike 2 and 3 times.

  8. I confess I have read the trilogy. It is written poorly. How anyone can happily refer to their vagina as their 'sex' is beyond me.
    Think of it this way, at least those 2 names are pleasant on the ears.... More than I can say for a lot of names these days.

    1. The referring to a vagina as her "sex" is a term used in a particular vintage of romance novels. Back in the day when the penis would be referred to as his "member".

      There are better written books out there, with hotter (i would say) sex scenes, that don't rely on the tired (Mills and Boon) trope of wealthy man mysteriously falls for quiet virginal heroine.

    2. This book is based in 2011.. It makes it all the more irritating.

  9. Love it! I heard this too but didn't really believe it. we shall wait and see. But I still rather say (hopefully) IVF did the trick though should someone dare to make the comment on the connection.

  10. I have finished the first two books, and my DH is reading #3 . . . so back to Feast of Crows until he finishes (I am a much faster reader).

    The books are not that bad, I only wish there was a bit more relationship development. They remind me of the trashy romance novels (Harlequin etc) I read when I was younger.

  11. It's true. I am impressed.

    I have also heard that it's not great. And books are like chocolates. We only have so many calories/so much time to expend. Even on smut.

  12. your farkin brilliant. great post!

  13. I love trivia like that. I don't have the stats, but I remember reading about the baby boom in 2003 from the blackout in the northeast US. Apparently since there was no power people found something else to do ;)

  14. Ha ha, that is a great hypothesis. It will be interesting to see if next spring does indeed bring a baby boom.


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