There is no question that I will try to get pregnant again, with three embryos chilling out in the freezer (do you see what I did there?!) it would seem wasteful in the extreme not to. I am not sure when though - recent events are still too raw to want to try again just now. However, for maybe the first time since I started trying to have a kid I feel like I have the luxury of time.
Things may change but at the moment I don't think I will go through egg collection again. Four times is enough, if none of the three little ice cubes make it into the real world I think I will concede defeat in the baby making department. So whilst I am just a few weeks shy of 36 my remaining eggs will be that of a 35 year old's.
Whilst they lie in suspended animation my biological clock can also stop ticking quite so loudly.
Unfortunately, this more relaxed attitude doesn't mean I am free of Doctors. The worry is that my diseased womb lining will make another bid for uterus domination and grow back preventing any kind of implantation. So I went back to my clinic to sort out a course of drugs to keep me regular (period-wise rather than bowels).
The plan is for two weeks in every five I take progesterone, I stop, I bleed, I wait a couple of weeks and repeat until I am ready for another frozen transfer.
The only question my Doctor and I had when I saw her was whether my womb lining was thick enough after the evacuation now, or whether to wait a week before I start this month's progesterone.
Fucking idiots that we are.
You'd have thought by now that I'd have learnt, but my natural optimism always wins through.
We forgot my womb-lining does like to confound expectations.
The scan didn't show the thin post-operative lining that was expected.
It seems not everything had been evacuated two weeks ago when it should have been. The question that remains now is whether I need another operation or just time to shed the last of my tenacious lining.
So now I have to go back to hospital again whilst the consultant decides the best course of action.
As a "belt and braces" approach, I have been prescribed some antibiotics just to ensure that an infection doesn't start. Strong antibiotics. One of which comes with a very stern warning not to mix with alcohol.
Oh well, the holiday was fun, I guess I am back on the wagon again.