Friday, 15 June 2012

Dragging out the miscarriage

I had to go to the walk-in early pregnancy unit. I went clutching a referral to see the doctor who ballsed-up performed my original evacuation.

The receptionist asked if I was pregnant. I said I wasn’t but needed to see the named doctor.

“This is the early pregnancy unit”

“I know, I had a miscarriage.” I whispered conscious of the growing queue behind me.

“WHAT?”

“A MISCARRIAGE” I yelled back (I didn’t think he’d get the meaning of IVFgate - even miscarriage seemed a tad beyond him).

He hurriedly asked me to sit down.

Another receptionist called me. “You need to do a pregnancy test”.

“I’m not pregnant,” I replied as evenly as I could.

“But this is the early ...”

“I know” I cut her off “I had a miscarriage”.

Miscarriages are common. Complications are unfortunately all too frequent. You would have thought they’d have learnt by now how to deal with us. They haven't.

I did the test.

Still a faint positive. It means nothing.

It is still hard not to feel a glimmer of hope when you hear that, even though I know it is remnants of something long gone.

I sat waiting amongst anxiously hopeful couples clutching each other's hands waiting for their 12 week scans. On the very day when I should have been having my 12 week scan. When I finally saw the doctor she confirmed that whilst my womb of doom (Kylie, I am totally using that term) was mostly full of blood clots there was still a small amount of “tissue” remaining, about 1cm by 1.5cm big.

I can wait for it to pass naturally or have another scrape. As it isn’t troubling me at the moment I’ve opted to wait another week and a half and then see where we go from there, which will be six weeks since no heartbeat was discovered (or a heartbeat was not discovered). I've now been miscarrying for the same amount of time that I knew I was pregnant.

Whilst I wait, the antibiotics (and sanitary towels) keep me safe. 



22 comments:

  1. Wrist muscles.... ur killin' me....You are just precious. :)

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  2. Wrist muscles.... ur killin' me....You are just precious. :)

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  3. I am sorry you are still dealing with this, that is a long time to wait for something so devastating to be over. But I choked on my water laughing when I read the wrist muscles thing.....been there, haha.

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  4. That particular species of insensitive Receptionist crap has happened to Every. Single. miscarrying woman I know. I'm beginning to think it's so endemic that only a judiciously-applied flamethrower can cure it. Announcing your bad news to both a dimwit and a large audience seems to be some poisonous rite of passage. I'm sorry, lovey, I know it sucks.

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    1. Please, oh please, let me be first in line with the flame-thrower...

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  5. By the way, just read your timeline....how have I not come across your blog before? I even had my 4th/5th (2nd fresh cycle but 4th transfer)at the same time as your last one - egg retrieval exact same day! I will start following - hope I get to see you get that take home baby, and soon.

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  6. I find that sort of things works better on my shoulder muscles. But, to each his own...

    Wow - nice work by the staff, there. By the time the second one had asked me something related to being pregnant, I would probably have responded with "Do I need a sign or something? Don't you have post it notes or some method of categorizing your patients WHO DON'T HAVE VIABLE PREGNANCIES? OR ARE YOU JUST ASSHOLES??!!??" Because I have excellent manners.

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  7. Oh, the effin' clueless receptionists have moved to your neck of the woods, have they. BASTARDS. They work in an EPU. What do they THINK all those women are there for. BASTARDS. ARGH.

    As for the rest, I hug you. I am sorry. It's awful.

    As for your wrist, I admire your dedication to the cause. I hope your husband does too.

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  8. LOVE the end of the post. Gotta keep a sense of humour.

    when this happened to me ('tissue' left over after a D&C) the heartless bitch at the hospital kept telling me it was an incomplete abortion. I KNOW it is the medical term but I wanted to nipple cripple the bitch till she bled.

    xx

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  9. Jesus.
    Feel free to share my anger at inanimate portions of anatomy that don't give 2 shits how you feel.

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  10. Ewwwwwwwww, thanks for the image I now have in my head (wrist related). Maybe we should leave it a while before we meet up - I don't want that image popping I to my head whilst we're eating...

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  11. I don't know why those receptionists SUCK. I had a very similar experience (twice). I wanted to throttle her. It has soured me toward her and I will never be as friendly to her again.

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  12. Once again it is proven that being an arse is a pre-requisite to becoming a medical receptionist.
    I'm sorry you had to sit there amongst those in a better place. Having been there it is a shit place to be. Physically and emotionally.
    I hope you're ambidextrous!

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  13. Ugh, I am sorry this thing is dragging out. And I don't know why medical staff don't get better training for this stuff - HELLO?
    Hope this passes soon so you can move onwards and upwards!

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  14. Oh my goodness...what a freaking pain in the ass! So sorry for all the bullshit. I hope it resolves itself without too much more intervention.
    kd

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  15. Good grief! Given the relatively high rate of miscarriage early in pregnancy, and the fact that early pregnancy units generally handle those most at risk (or at least the ones near me do) you would think that receptionists would be a little more sensitive.
    Hoping that it all resolves quickly

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  16. Sorry those people were so stupid. Thanks for the laugh.

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  17. I tend to end up with jaw rather than wrist ache, just a personal preference I guess.

    That is some serious lack of empathy/sympathy/understanding from the clinic. Gits.

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  18. Ugh. Sorry about that, must've been so sad to be on your 12 week scan date. Which EPU was it? I had ABSOLUTELY CRAPTASTIC experience at Whittington. Unbelievable disorganisation / insensitivity / rudeness. Urgh. Much as I love the principle of the NHS my recent experience with them has shocked me.

    Trying to block out that last sentence.

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  19. Would be nice if medical staff recognized that not every pregnancy ends with a baby, wouldn't it? Sorry you had to deal with their ignorance.

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  20. I meant to comment on this before but unfortunately my head exploded when I read how you were treated by that halfwit (I am being a lady here) the receptionist. I'd like to Write A Letter of Complaint. Or the flamethrower. That sounds nice and effective.

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I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!