Sunday, 6 May 2012

Womb For Improvement’s Law Strikes Again


You may remember that when I turned down a job offer in March I was worried I’d scuppered my chances of getting pregnant.

Womb For improvement’s Law stated that by turning it down and thus clearing the way for a pregnancy I was jeopardising my chances. What I didn’t tell you at the time was that I had actual proof of this - the wombmate got a new job and then got pregnant during her notice period. Starting her new job was pretty tough with morning all-day sickness to contend with as well as the normal nerves and stress.

But I had a chance to put myself in another tricky situation that, if it played out, would most certainly make pregnancy most awkward.

I occasionally get to travel in my current role. In eight years I’ve made four overnight trips, twice to Milan, once to Barcelona and once to Ireland. Sounds glamorous, and I’m not going to be one of those folk that is blasé about overseas travel – it is pretty exciting. But to you non-Europeans it might sound a bit more extravagant than it is, only a couple of hours in a plane.

I’ve never had the opportunity to do any proper travel, until a couple of weeks ago. I was invited out to Qatar. This is a part of the world I’ve never been to and, not being a massive fan of conspicuous consumption, not a place that I’d ever spend my own hard earned cash to go to. However, when I was offered the trip I happily accepted – if nothing else it’d be an experience.

There was one slight concern at the back of my mind when I planned the trip; if my fourth IVF worked I’d be six weeks pregnant when the trip was due to happen.  But I consoled myself, it had never worked before and it was time to stop putting my life on hold.

And then Womb For Improvement’s law did its thing and I got pregnant. And panicked.

I spent at least two hours trying to work out whether I could let down the client and just refuse to go or risk my burgeoning pregnancy on an 8-hour flight and a weeklong excursion away from home.

Then I realised there was no contest. I explained to my boss exactly why I was not going to go, and luckily he knew better than to try and talk me into it.

It is a good job I didn’t go, as if I had then on Monday night I would have been on a plane, not at home. Either way I would have lost the twin, but if it had happened on a long-haul flight I would have been convinced that was the cause. So although the outcome may have remained the same I have no regrets about not going, and if I hadn’t initially planned to go on the trip maybe Womb For Improvement’s Law wouldn’t have seen fit to let me get pregnant.

Maybe ...

Or maybe I'm getting to caught up in my own hype!






8 comments:

  1. Phew! That would have been awful on a plane. Glad you were able to cancel...

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  2. Glad that you were able to back out and be close to home for what was awful but would have been even more terrifying on a plane or in a foreign country.

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  3. I really and truly believe that things happen for a reason. After your baby is born & you look at that little face you'll understand why the previous IVF's didn't take. If they had, it would not have been "that" baby in your arms. I just had this discussion earlier with the husband, if my mc hadn't happened when it did I'd never have the baby I have now. I just adore this kid and couldn't picture it being any other way. Glad you made the decision to skip the trip, you would have beat yourself up for it. Keep safe and really do look forward to your pregnancy posts - you've earned them.

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  4. I'm glad you stayed home. I actually was on an airplane dealing with mc. One of the worst experiences of my life.

    It was hard to deal with by myself, first of all (husband was home), and worse to have to be out in public. Take care and be positive!

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  5. I'm glad you stood up to WFI's Law and demanded to stay home! I can't image a more awful place to be while going throught that. And you're right, you always would've blamed yourself.

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  6. Argh. It figures.

    You made the right decision. Beyond any shadow of a doubt. You're right - if it had happened on the plane you would have connected the two events. It's very, very lucky that you were home.

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  7. I completely disagree w anonymous that things happen for a reason - that's like saying it's ok that a child dies of cancer after years of pain - because there's a reason? Sometimes there is no reason. It's just shit. But I do agree that when you fall in love with your baby (which might be at birth, but might not be and don't feel bad if it takes a little while) you will know that while years of infertility will never be 'worth it', this baby is worth anything.

    On the flights, I wish people would kill off the old wives tails. The only reputable study on this showed that women who flew in pregnancy were LESS likely to have a miscarriage (suggestion of the researchers is perhaps because those who felt well enough to fly were less likely to have serious issues with the pregnancy).

    Anyway, you made the right decision for you, and, as you say, having that awful bleed on the plane, and the terror of not knowing if you were losing the entire pregnancy, would have been awful. I'm very glad you were spared that.

    But whatever happened, it would not have been your fault.

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  8. ugh. Wives' TALES not TAILS! Terrible.

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