Today marks four years since my first post (the earlier ones were back dated by me).
Four years ago I thought:
- That I was probably over-reacting about not being able to get pregnant and it would most likely happen soon
- That I'd get bored of blogging pretty quickly, maybe after a couple of months
- That clomid was spelt with an 'h'
I was wrong on all counts.
The first two and three quarter years of this blog were pretty uneventful, the odd doctor's appointment punctuating many, many months on birth control as the doctors sought to control my womb lining. Things only really kicked off last January with IVF and since then I've had four rounds back to back.
The last three months have really seen things hotting up. At long last a pregnancy, and I thought this was it. However, it was too short-lived and this morning I had an operation described by the consultant as a 'removal of the products of conception.'
I'm at home now recovering.
Physically I feel Ok.
Emotionally I am wavering between relief that it is over and I can start thinking about recovery, and tearfully mourning the loss of what could, and should, have been.
However, I am not inconsolable.
I got pregnant. For the first time in 5 and a half years of trying, my womb actually managed to let not just one but two embryos implant. Next time maybe they will stick around.
And there WILL be a next time. I have three embryos in the freezer and they need their Mummy! We will try again.
But not just yet. First, we need time to recover.
And lets hope it won't take another four years of blogging before a full-term, healthy pregnancy.