Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Good Morning ... sorta

Pregnant women are amazing.

 I really don’t understand how they do it.

Not the getting pregnant bit, I understand the mechanics of that (at least the principle, if not how it really works without a hell of a lot of medical intervention), but the whole first 12 week thing.

We know the first 12 weeks are risky and it is probably best to wait until you’ve cleared the hurdle of the first trimester before you start telling people you are pregnant. I’ve worked with many, many woman who have announced, out of the blue, that they are 12 weeks pregnant. Even my older sister managed to successfully conceal her first pregnancy from me despite living just ten minutes away and me being a regular visitor to her house.

How do they do it?

I am a mess. At work I am struggling through the morning. A couple of merry chunders in the loo yesterday sorted me out. This morning I was fortunate enough to be sick in the comfort of my own home without having to resort to the floor of the disabled toilets as my resting place.

It is bad but could be so much worse. My boss knows I’m pregnant so when he asks how I am I can say, weakly, “a bit shit” rather than having to act all bright, perky and efficient. A couple of other folk at work know as well so one (who is pregnant herself so knows the form) will lob me a dried apricot when I am looking particularly feeble. The other (a bloke so will never really know the deal) will give me a sympathetic, slightly awkward, shoulder rub.

NOTE: shoulder rubs do not help, they make the baulk worse, but I very much appreciate the sentiment.

But I really can’t understand how I have, on several occasions, worked closely with a pregnant woman and not noticed. (This was mostly before infertility, which fine-tuned my pregno-dar).

The fortunate thing is that I do seem to have classic morning sickness - it starts bad and gradually dissipates through out the day. Which gives me the benefit of a daily reminder that all is going well with the little womb-parasite, and the afternoons to schedule meetings where I hope to sound at least half-way compos mentis.



14 comments:

  1. Yeah, I didn't say anything until after 20 weeks, and all my female coworkers were talking about me behind my back - "Who does she think she's fooling? Why doesn't she just tell us?" - in spite of the fact that they knew about one of my previous losses. But, I wasn't vomiting, I was just fat.

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  2. I didn't manage to get away with it lol. My crew around me knew things weren't "normal". So I was outted after 6 and a half weeks. It was good though cause I felt disgusting 24/7until the end of the first trimester. Sour lollies helped me

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  3. First one I told people at 11 weeks, but I had the same problem. How in the hell do people keep that a secret? I wanted to tell everyone. The second time (after two miscarriages) I was extremely gunshy, and did not want to tell anyone. It was until 13 weeks that I started feeling real about it, and felt comfortable. But really, I'm not comfortable even now. I know all the risks and I'm still scared. Though at 22 weeks (and 2 wks to the day away from viability) I am feeling better.

    As to the morning sickness ... I don't know if it'll help you or not ... but I had eggs first thing in the morning, soon as I woke up. Sometimes I was holding my nose and eating them, but the protein really, really helped keep the nausea at bay. And any time I started to feel the least bit queasy I grabbed a cracker or yogurt. It was not easy to eat. Eating sucked and everything smelled bad.

    Second time around I started showing at like 10 weeks, BTW. Ridiculous. I just got huge so fast. Everyone knew.

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  4. I didn't have any sickness but the tiredness. Holy heavens I would be dead man walking. And mistakes. Hmmm I made a few. Should be a law for pregnant women having to work in first trimester!

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  5. I also wondered how others can keep their pregnancies hidden for so long... after I had terrible morning sickness and felt awful for weeks :( FXd that the morning sickness is replaced by other equally reassuring symptoms soon xoxo

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  6. To answer the "how did I not notice?" question-- you'd be surprised how oblivious we can be... For example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

    I hope that you get to feeling slightly better soon and that you have some other reassuring symptom (perhaps just the bone crushing exhaustion?) to replace it.

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  7. It does get easier - sometime between 12 and 14 weeks, you will wake up one morning and the world will seem a lighter, brighter place. How are the moods btw? I have a friend just ahead of you and she was like a bag of cats with everyone at this stage!

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  8. Nausea is a good reminder of the lovely parasite growing in there, although sometimes it can be quite bad. I subscribe to protein early in the morning. Ad then just nibbling stuff throughout the day (salty worked best for me) and drinking water with lemon slices in it (although that might bring about the heartburn, which is precisely ten kinds of awesome).
    As for your question - many women do not have it all that bad. And some are slim. Let's hate them together.

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  9. I am so with you on this one - i really don't know how people manage to keep it to themselves without losing lots of friends who would think you'd become an antisocial, vague, miserable, shadow of your former self. i think it's a very personal decision when you tell people and have always thought if i would like them to be there for me if anything did go wrong then i would tell them. Perhaps irrationally, I always feel a little disappointed if a close friend doesn't say until 12 weeks as it feels as if the didn't feel they could share such special, important info with me. The six weeks between 6 and 12 weeks of pregnancy is definitely the worst (you saw me on holiday when i was 6 weeks pg with Mimi - a quivering wreck!) but like you say it is reassuring. Have you got the not being able to brush your teeth too? Glad it eases up a bit for you in the afternoons. Do you see the midwife soon for your booking/initial appt? Xx

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  10. muthafckr!!! wrote a big comment then it disappeared. in short, I'm glad you're feeling short, in a good way, it will be over before you know it. (but then you get all sorts of other weird shit going on.)

    was really lucky to be mainly working at home through that stage. at least you have nice workmates. yay! xx

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  11. Ugh, being nauseous at work must really suck. Maybe putting something in your stomach in the early morning might help? My nausea always had to do with an empty stomach, and your stomach is likely to be at it's emptiest first thing in the morning. Here's hoping you get through this phase quickly so you can start being open about it!

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  12. Ah, the queasies. So welcome, on the one hand, so unwelcome on the other. It's good that they dissipate through they day, so you can at least predict your afternoons. And take heart in the fact that most people bid them farewell in the second trimester (though, keep in mind that they might not stop immediately but rather taper off...I expected it to be like a tap that abruptly turned off...not so much the case).

    And, yes, it also amazed me to realize how many women conceal it behind cheerful facades. Perhaps they're the ones who say, "What morning sickness?" Or maybe they're just more stoic than I was able to be (I dragged woefully for12 weeks).

    Merry Chundering.

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  13. Merry Chundering indeed. I managed to get through the first 11 odd weeks without work guessing This was despite my massive bloat, general greenness, inability to go 5 minutes without needing to eat and to keep my eyes open past 4pm....it still came as a surprise.

    It does get easier - but as you say, being sick means you have a visible sign of the fact you are pregnant, which is always reassuring!

    xxx

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  14. Hi there, just checking on you. Everything going ok?

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