I've written before about how being infertile is great for job retention. I hadn't dared apply for another job for years just in case I got pregnant and couldn't cash in on the maternity benefits that I have accrued over that last, long, eight years in my current job.
I should probably clarify that statement - being an optimistic infertile is great for staff retention. It is probably a sign of my pessimism that last month, for the first time in years I applied for another job.
Other than just put my name under the person specification, it could hardly have been more tailored to my skills and experience. It also has the added benefit of being close to home so I could still nip home at lunchtime to walk the dog.
I've just been offered an interview.
Shit.
I've got no idea whether I'll get the job, but what I do know is the outcome of this interview will give me a pretty good idea of whether this frozen embryo transfer will work.
Let me break it down.
My interview is next week, my frozen embryo transfer in about three weeks, I'll find out whether I am pregnant as a result in about five weeks.
Even allowing for a second interview (and there is no indication that the interviews will be more than one round) I will find out whether I have the job and will have to decide whether to take it or not before I know whether I am about to get pregnant.
So here is how I reckon it is going to pan out:
I should probably clarify that statement - being an optimistic infertile is great for staff retention. It is probably a sign of my pessimism that last month, for the first time in years I applied for another job.
Other than just put my name under the person specification, it could hardly have been more tailored to my skills and experience. It also has the added benefit of being close to home so I could still nip home at lunchtime to walk the dog.
I've just been offered an interview.
Shit.
I've got no idea whether I'll get the job, but what I do know is the outcome of this interview will give me a pretty good idea of whether this frozen embryo transfer will work.
Let me break it down.
My interview is next week, my frozen embryo transfer in about three weeks, I'll find out whether I am pregnant as a result in about five weeks.
Even allowing for a second interview (and there is no indication that the interviews will be more than one round) I will find out whether I have the job and will have to decide whether to take it or not before I know whether I am about to get pregnant.
So here is how I reckon it is going to pan out:
- I don't get offered the job, I don't get pregnant.
- I get offered the job, I turn it down in case I get pregnant. I don't get pregnant.
- I get offered the job, I accept. I get pregnant and miss out on maternity leave benefits and piss off my new employers.*
There's no arguing with that logic is there?
* To be honest I don't really give a toss about any collateral damage if I do get pregnant. But it would be a bit awkward.
I think...3. Let's go with that one.
ReplyDeleteSnap! Bang on with the infertility makes for great staff retention. I've been hanging in for exactly the same reasons. I too am on a journey, it's been a year of tests & failures & soon an operation to remove my large cyst. I think the IVF will finally see its course through after the cysts have gone. Being on maternity leave 2013 for us both.
ReplyDeletenope, no arguing with that logic. It happened to me!! I ended up not taking the job because either way I was screwed with maternity benefits. I just hope that you get pregnant :)
ReplyDeleteYour logic is exactly the same as mine would be - the "Murphy's Law" argument that says the only time a good thing happens is in conjunction with a bad thing (and vice versa). But you know what? Sometimes things just work out too! I hope you get the job *and* get pregnant and somehow figure out a way to make it work. But most importantly, I just want you to get pregnant!
ReplyDeleteYep- I had an argument over this with my husband. The morning radio people were debating whether you should tell a prospective employer you are pregnant (early stages) and my response was of the heck no variety. Not that it is really an option.
ReplyDeleteMy current boss started making subtle (not really) arrangements for my replacement if I went on maternity leave 2 years ago, because he knew we were trying.
He actually used the phrase "when Kylie goes on maternity leave" to a co-worker. Not making those plans anymore.
I sort of had the same issue but an option 4 - found out I had a failed cycle the day after starting with a new employer.... that made me cheery new employee of the month...
ReplyDeleteJust stall the new employer as long as possible, so that you're making a decision with the most possible information. Make sure you're not available for interview #2 for a week or two in order to drag things out and give yourself more time.
By the way, if (heaven forbid) the IVF didn't work out, which job would you prefer to be in?
ReplyDeleteOh jesus. Well, at least it gives you something else to think about in the meantime! xx
ReplyDeleteThat's great news! Definitely going with option 3. I don't suppose dragging out the notice period would help?
ReplyDeleteAnyway it's not like you'd be leaving the new employers in the lurch straight away, as you'd be able to work a good few months before you go off on maternity leave (touching wood with remaining 8 fingers as I type..)
G x
I take it that you have to work at a job a certain amount of time before you get maternity benefits? I was *very* lucky that that wasn't the case for me. I interviewed last May 3 months pregnant, was offered the job the same day, signed the contract in late July, *then* told my supervisor I was pregnant, started work Sept. 1, stopped work Oct. 15, started up again four weeks ago. I'm very lucky that everything went so smoothly. (My supervisor's reaction to the news that I'd be gone for 16 weeks 6 weeks after I started was "congratulations".)
ReplyDeleteI think the interview is awesome! Being considered for a new position as least shows that you look good on paper. Now you can WOW them in person! Good Luck! I'm totally superstitious like that too, so the hell with it, take the job, get your BFP and think about the rest of the bs later. :)
ReplyDeleteI hold the same superstitions you do. Like, telling people I'm pregnant means something awful will happen. But really the two aren't related.
ReplyDeleteI hope, if this job interview goes well (remember you're interviewing them too!) and you decide you want it that you can have it. I hope it pays more money so that you're better able to get through maternity leave without those added benefits. :)
I just hope you gt pregnant. Which job would you want to be in if pregnancy and maternity leave was not a part of the equation? I say go with that. If it happens to be the new job then don't worry about pissing them off. You honestly didn't know you were pregnant yet at the time of the interview.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI was introduced to your blog by a friend about 6 months back, and have been an avid reader ever since. I applaud and thank you for making me laugh at loud at times when I have just wanted to cry...
Your latest entry has really struck a chord, as I too had held off looking for a new job for 3.5 years in the hope that "next year" would be my "mat leave" year - it never happened. Realising that I couldn't stay miserable in my job any longer, I accepted a new role just after xmas knowing full well that my next (third) cycle was about to begin - what the heck I thought - if it doesn't work, at least I will have a new job to take my mind off it...
So here I am, half way through my 3 month notice period, having just had 2 5 day blastocysts transferred TODAY!!!
As Sarah above says, "to hell with it - take the job, and deal with the rest of the BS later" I know I am planning to....
It's Murphy's Law, isn't it? And trying to work out all the possibilities can be an endless mindfuck. No advice to give you. It would tie me up in knots. But it's a good sign that you're in such high demand. I'd also go with the job where you'd be happier...and work out the other details as needed (and I really really hope you're going to need to work out some good ones).
ReplyDeleteugh, so complicated!! I hope that you learn more about the job and that if it's right for you, you're able to make the switch. sometimes these hiring things take longer than anticipated, tho...which i'm hoping for you, so you'll know what's up re: pregnancy.
ReplyDeletewishing you the best.
Mo
I was wondering the same thing in the process of applying for extended leave... now that I'm on leave, I'm not pregnant... but if I'd stay, I probably would have gotten pregnant. You're right - IF is great from job retention :)) FXd for your cycle xoxo
ReplyDeleteYup, #3 is totally happening. It's Newtons law or some other law of nature or physics or something! At the most inopportune time, BAM! You're knocked up! And thrilled about it of course, but yeah, ackward for sure!
ReplyDeleteA wise friend used to say: It's only a crisis if you are offered the job. And if you don't even go for it, you might wonder.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth. Also, the lighting a cigarette to make the bus arrive syndrome? Would be great.
Liz, I'm catching up slowly but you know its sods law. Good old option 3 does it for me. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDon't put off life waiting for a baby, option 3 does it for me as well. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck at the interview! Always good for your mental health to have a few major life decisions that all seem to happen at the same time and you have little or no control over how they will all affect one another! Bet your brain is working over-time. On a much smaller scale, I'm waiting to hear if I got the school nursing job...and then in 10 days I find out if we are posted to Bristol....why couldn't those things have happened the other way round? Complicated isn't necessarily bad, and you'll certainly find out a lot more about the new position by going for the interview. Anyone thinking of employing a woman of childbearing age knows that they can expect a certain percentage to get pregnant at some point so you really dont need to spare them a guilty smidgen of a thought. They want you, whether you are going to be on maternity leave for a tiny proportion of your working life or not (what is say 18 months out of a working life of about 30 years)? It will all work out! xxxx
ReplyDelete