Wednesday, 8 February 2012

I done a wee!

Despite spending a couple of my formative years in Germany the husband and I are NOT a scatalogically inclined couple.

Admittedly we did start to develop a slight obsession with excreta when we first got our dog. Mainly because we have to pick up whatever he deigns to leave us. Suddenly the quality of our day could be significantly impacted on depending on whether it was a more liquid day or if he gave us a firmer, and thus easier to collect, offering. We invented our own lexicon - on returning from a walk with the dog we would remark to the other “A perfect self-wiper today” (Not that we ever go as far as wiping his arse but it is good when there is no smear), the antithesis of course is the heavy, shamed-head shake accompanied by the words “weeing from his arse...”

Four years on we no longer feel the need to discuss his daily defecatations, instead the husband has developed more recent obsession with my own output. My swollen uterus has failed to deflated even after being relieved of its 29 eggs. I continue to have the distended belly of a starvation victim (without the accompanying spindly limbs or cheekbones). And if I thought that the plan for a frozen cycle meant that I’d have an easy go of it directly after egg collection I was sorely mistaken (and I use the word 'sorely' advisedly).

To prevent the onset of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) I am continuing to inject myself with both Cetrotide and Clexane on a nightly basis and I am back on the evil Norprolac. This will continue until I get my period.

The drugs are just one weapon against OHSS. One of the best ways to prevent its onset is the drinking water and lots of it, and making sure that what goes in comes out. If I am drinking and very little comes out this is a danger zone. Hence the husband's sudden obsession with me having a piss. He has taken to following me around flat proffering glasses of water and sending me to the toilet at regular intervals. Which is endearing, if a little wearing.

Still at least it gives us an insight into the kind of parents we will, hopefully, be. You know the ones. Those folk who will happily scream across the restaurant to their offspring: “Have you done a poo-poo?”.


15 comments:

  1. It's amazing how quickly and easily that kind of stuff becomes a daily converstation. "Did she poop? How did it look? Was it alot?" For reals.
    I hope you pee well.

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  2. Oof, sorry to hear about the OHSS but glad your husband is taking good care of you...

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  3. you always find the humor in every situation....this post is hilarious. I hope you feel better soon and you continue to "make a wee" as often as necessary to deflate that belly :)

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  4. classic. Although 4 years on hubby and I do still talk about the pups poos. Whether our girl poodle broke one off successfully (she is having digestive issues) I too think we will be the same type of parents. Now wont' we be awesome!

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  5. Yup that's me too always asking J "did you poopa?" said with a fake Italian acent.

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  6. Ahahaha! Your husband is very sweet! I love this post.

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  7. I'd say you'll be exactly those parents. (The pooch tale was a dead giveaway). Keep a'drinking the water. Fingers crossed that the OHSS stays at bay.

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  8. I swear I peed more trying to prevent OHSS than I ever did when I was up the duff.... Ho are those embryos doing for you?

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  9. I recently started using a baby tracking/schedule website (baby-connect.com) which allows you to note the quantity, consistency, and color of the output in the diapers. I've found myself thinking such things as "Ah, it's a medium, soft, mustard diaper" when I change her. Luckily, since we put this info into the website, if the other is interested in the details they can look it up themselves, so we avoid it as a topic of conversation!

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  10. Are you looking fondly back on the days when there was no concern whatsoever regarding the output of your undercarriage? Do you remember those days?

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  11. What also helps with OHSS are those sports drinks. I drank loads of gatorade after my egg collection and my symptoms faded fast!

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  12. Oh GOD, keep drinking the water! Drink drink drink! Father Jack-levels of enthusiasm for drinking! OHSS was absolutely bloody awful. Although, after 29 eggs, I suppose a mild dose is practically a given. I didn't realise clexane helped it, perhaps that's why mine didn't last too long.

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  13. Ah, greyhounds and their bowel habits... Always a source of conversation! Incidentally the husband texted me yesterday to tell me about our greyhound's toilet activities whilst I was at Uni. My friends were confused!
    Next he'll be wanting to measure your output. But it is quite sweet. Hope those embryos are doing the business.

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  14. Thanks for the much needed laugh!

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