Monday, 28 November 2011

I Tried and Tested

I tested on Friday.

And Saturday.

On Sunday I gave it a rest (coincidently as the Good Book suggests).

This morning, official test day, I double checked.

Every test gave me the same answer.

Every test was negative.

Thank you all for rooting for me. For your words of encouragement and advice.  But now there is nothing anyone can say to make me feel better. I know you are sorry for me, I know you really thought this time would be it. Me too.

You could maybe do one thing, leave me your favourite swear word in the comments, cause swearing is always funny and any comments that are too nice will make me cry again.



88 comments:

  1. so awful, so sorry. but as requested: womblecock

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  2. Fuck.

    I'm so sorry. Wish I had funny swear words to make you laugh but I'm boring, I like a good old fashioned fuck

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  3. Fucker.

    It is going to be your turn soon.

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  4. Mother Fucker. M-F'er is not strong enough for how I feel for you right now. Ok, let's add in Son of a Bitch and Asshole too. I'll have to leave this anonymous so no one knows I have such a potty mouth.

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  5. fucking shitty arse wipe

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  6. Fucking cunt!

    So sorry my dear.

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  7. God damn it all to hell. I am so sorry.

    I have an inordinate fondness for 'twatweasel'. And being dragged up in a strongly Catholic country before moving back to Blighty, for elaborate blasphemy. 'Holy Mary Mother of Bicycles' was one. Also 'Judas ballerina' which is, on long consideration, not only blasphemous but CSI-levels of grotesque, but as kids we were allowed to get away with it. Or 'Christ on a bendy-bus', though that one's more Londony.

    And 'catastrofuck'. I like that one too.

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  8. Just a plain old 'cunt'

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  9. How fucking shitty is that, knob knob knob!

    Amy x

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  10. Arsing Bloody Fuckburgers.

    SorryXX

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  11. Numb nuts and pile of cock....

    So sorry lady.

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  12. Fuck me blue and call me a Smurf.

    So sorry.

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  13. oh fuck me six ways to sunday, that really sucks big donkey balls.

    so sorry hon XX

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  14. Piss wizard. it just trips off the tongue. try it out.
    thinking of you.
    martha

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  15. fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! Crapweasels and Baldercrap!

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  16. I am pathetically ineffectual at swearing, but rather better at googling so I will refer you to some experts

    First, of course, Malcom Tucker

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99CZHHgAOy8

    I thought the news would be better and I'm so sorry.

    And some others:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2009/feb/12/clip-joint-swearing

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  17. As the young folk say in the West of Ireland, that's just cuntish. Sorry hon x

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  18. Bastarding Bollix that's a big pile of elephant poo...
    (really sorry)

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  19. Fuckin A Shitty Face Asshole :(

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  20. Bloody Fucking Hell. That's been my favorite for a while and I'm sitting here saying it because I was so hopeful for you.

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  21. Fucking buggering bollocks! I'm so very sorry .

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  22. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

    A few activities to supplement the swearing, I have found bashing things with pillows to be quite a good release for the rage. In addition, when I was an angst ridden teen, I used to go to a discount store and byt some cheap drinking glasses. Then I would wrap them in a paper bag, and throw them to hear the satisfying sound of shattering glass. (But without mess or ruining anything nice...I was a very responsible angst ridden teen!)

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  23. Swearing, not my thing, let alone in another language, but I'll give you Potverpillepap.
    But I'm still googling sweet potatoes with marshmallows...

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  24. God, yes. We need Malcolm Tucker for this. Fuckitydooda, titsawhistle, shitting shit.

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  25. Damn Damn Damn... Sorry.

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  26. There is only one word for times like this. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

    So sorry. Xoxo

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  27. bag of shit!
    Shitballs!
    I'm so sorry, I'm so soo sorry!!

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  28. Uff Da! So sorry. Thinking about you. Hugz!

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  29. When I was little I asked my mum why Winnie the Pooh says "bother" and she told me it's because he's cross. So, I said, why doesn't he say "shoot"?

    She was just grateful I hadn't picked up on any of the much more colourful words she also used...

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  30. (And to follow up from May, in the Catholic country where Spouse Brother and family live, apparently a very naughty word is "Hostia!" as in, the sacrament.)

    So you are basically saying "Wafer!"

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  31. When confronted with general idiocy, I revert to "Oh for fuck's sake" on an unfortunately regular basis. And I'm sorry.

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  32. Mother fucker, fuck stick asshole! I'm so very very sorry this just plain sucks.

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  33. It's always better to swear in your mother tongue so here's mine ;)
    ¡ me cago en la puta!

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  34. Hell and damnation!

    Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!

    And also...that sucks balls. Big hairy balls.

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  35. Hellkite. Oh, Liz. Shaggit to hell and back. I have also consulted a Kerryman, who says: a "cunting hoar" might fit here.

    So, so sorry.

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  36. Motherfucking son of a bitch would be my personal response to adversity.

    :(

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  37. Shit shit shit shit!

    I'm so so sorry. ((HUGS))

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  38. I offer you a classic from some ridiculous alligator movie with Bridget Fonda:

    "Fuckshit".

    Best said if calling someone it.

    It will serve you well.

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  39. Fuckalltheshit.

    So sorry...

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  40. Putain de merde (strong version of Bloody Hell!) Thinking of you.

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  41. Mother fucking dildo head son of a bitch.

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  42. "Scrattocks" not a swear word as such but if you really punctuate the 'x' sound at the end its quite satisfying! I prefer 'fuck-puddle' but it seems somewhat inappropriate in this instance (or is that just me?). I've been following silently for ages but have been rooting for you just as hard (almost worn out my iphone button with my constant check for an update). I know even as I type this that its really of no consolation whatsoever right now but I guess its times like these when those of us in similar situations feel compelled to send support even though we're the only ones who get how little it really helps at first, if at all! Anyway, I've rambled on enough but to end, a good old british 'bloody-sod-and-bugger' feels apt, if slightly inadequate! Much love, Zowie.

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  43. Fuck me dead, a talking pig! (it's the punchline to a joke, a teacher asks the kids what do they think the wolf said when he heard one of the three little pigs saying they were safe in their house). I use it regardless of the suitability of the occasion.

    Delurking to tell you that I have been reading you in a long time, have rooted for you since the first read, and I am so pissed that you are still not pregnant when there are so many bloody fools who do get that way only by thinking about a shag.

    It sucks donkey balls, it really does.

    Mina

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  44. Arse feckers!

    I'm so sorry - I've been reading for a long time and have had my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you.

    My husband tries to be gracious with the 'it just wasn't our turn' response to my tears of frustration to our negative cycles. Rather than soothing my upset It just makes me want to fling open the front door and scream to the world 'why the fuck not?' until my tonsils explode.

    Again, my sorries... x

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  45. Fucking shitting arse-wiping bollocks.

    Raging on your behalf at this completely ridiculous shiteness.

    No nice comments, as requested, just wanting to hold your hand.

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  46. I'm so, so sorry. That sucks goat balls. Hard.

    My heart hurts for you. You must be feeling so horribly... I'm sure nothing can help change that, just don't forget you're not alone and you have a whole world (wide web) of people who care.

    On that note... Ballsack! Complete and utter BALLSACK!

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  47. Fucking Bullshit!!

    This whole IF thing is fucking bullshit! Also, fuck those cock sucker testing sticks too, we were all demanding a positive for you and just like a twat muncher they showed only negatives.

    Fix a big glass of wine (or whiskey) and call it a day!

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  48. I'm with you... nothing worse than having people write, "I'm sorry."

    So, here goes...

    fuck shit cunt balls scrotum sucking piece of shit son of a bitch mother-fucking douche bag of a bastard whore.

    [taking a deeeeeep breath to switch to French]

    espace de connard putain de merde tu me fais shier va te faire foutre petit con.

    There, universe. Take that! [shaking my fist at the heavens]

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  49. Douchecanoe.

    Double points to Jem for the bilingual offering.

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  50. I am too fucking heart broken to even try and be funny. This is bull shit.

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  51. ASSHAT!!!! Recently added to the Miriam Webster dictionary so it is a real word....I'm mad for you and pissed at the world for you.
    kd

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  52. Yes, DOUCHE ! This word is uttered so much America that I believe Massengill gets a royalty every time it's said.

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  53. well, poo.

    I know, very tame.
    Or a japanese one- mukatsku!(no idea of real spelling)

    And speaking of swearing, this will at least provide some levity - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ2SKjM7ew4
    my html tagging ability is non-existent though sorry.

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  54. Mother fucker.
    Seriously there are no words. Thinking of you and sending big hugs from across the pond. Love and light.

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  55. That fucking sucks. I am so so sorry, I know there's nothing else that can be said. Sending you a big hug.

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  56. how about three??? Fucking shit fuck.... I am so so sorry hun.

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  57. A true Aussie swear = BLOODY HELL !!
    I'm so sorry to hear your news... thinking of you xoxo

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  58. I'm going to go really blue, for the Aussies in the room ... and this isn't an abbreviation out of politeness, you say this just as you read it:

    'c-bags'.

    I use this one when nothing else will do. This seems like one of those times.

    Thinking of you x

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  59. Definitely fuck. But in triplicate!

    I'm sorry dear. You are in my prayers!

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  60. Fucking sweaty, stinky giant monkey balls.

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  61. Fuckdamn that's incredibly craptastic news :(

    So sorry.

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  62. Catastrofuck & womblecock are untoppable; I merely echo. I'm so, so, sorry lovey. So sorry.

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  63. That blows.

    I really do sympathize -- we failed 4 fresh IVF's and one FET before calling it quits. And it blows.

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  64. Shit. I'm so sorry it didn't work. Thinking of you. X

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  65. Fy fan! Swedish swearing continues... Så jävla orättvist!

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  66. Jumping Jesus on pogo stick... or as my dear sweet mother would say, FUCK me running backwards that sucks! Also, shit sandwich. As in "What a..."

    Lastly. Only the really sick bastards do that thing with the sweet potatoes. That's just nasty. I always roast mine with a little chipotle seasoning.

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  67. http://shitisfuckedupandbullshit.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/shitisfuckedupandbullshit.jpg

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  68. Cocking knobjockey is a favourite in our house.
    Thinking of you xx

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  69. Cunting hell, buggery bollocks and piss flaps.

    I'm so sorry and so annoyed - this is getting beyond a joke (not that it ever was).

    Thinking of you (seriously, I am not just saying that)
    xx

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  70. Sorry to hear about your negative.

    Cursing helps me sometimes too... my current favorite would have to be fu.cknugget!

    ~HUGS~

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  71. God-fucking-dammit, I wish you were pregnant right now.

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  72. (here from Lost and Found)

    fucknugget - thats my phones bluetooth presence!! Loving some of these responses - twatweasel?

    and from me, well I read this on facebook and was pleased to be actually laughing at that frigging site instead of swearing at all the preggytalk

    - Jesus Harold Christ on a rubber-fucking crutch

    That said, bugger, about your cycle, that sucks bigtime

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  73. hmm... how about gyrating goatfucker or pus guzzling anal herp... (yuck)

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  74. shit shit shit. i am so so sorry.

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  75. Dickface. That's my favorite cuss word.

    I'm so sorry...sending lots of love!

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  76. Crap and shit.
    It just plain awfully sucks.

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  77. Found you through ICLW... this plain old sucks.
    So here's my contribution:
    I swear either in English with the ever-popular "Fuck", or in Germany or English with the just as popular "Scheisse"/"Shit".
    And hubby made up his own German swear word, which he uses with abandon:
    "Schwule Affenscheisse"

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I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!