Infertility – it is the gift (or should that be Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer?) that keeps on giving.
Just when you think you know where you are, it comes and sideswipes you.
Turns out I needn’t have panicked about my follicles. They are growing nicely; I have 5 on one side and six on the other.
That is the good news.
The bad news, however, is that my womb lining has not been so co-operative. From being “lovely and thin” at the first scan it is now worryingly thin, having failed to plump up along with the follicles.
In fact the womb lining is so miserly and unwelcoming the doctors have decided that it isn’t worth trying to implant anything in there.
The plan now is to go ahead with egg retrieval (probably on Saturday) and try and make some embryos, then freeze what they can and hopefully they’ll have something to implant at a later date.
I’m miserable. I’d say I feel deflated but my aching ovaries are making me feel quite the opposite. (They really are pretty painful.)
I am worried. In the previous two cycles nothing was frozen. I am worried that this time it’ll be the same story.
There is a little bit more good news, I only had two people coming round last night Trick or Treating. The upshot is I have a big tin of chocolate in the house – I suspect I won’t still have it tomorrow.
And I may as well go back to work next week, so I won’t be in such dire financial straits.
Just when you think you know where you are, it comes and sideswipes you.
Turns out I needn’t have panicked about my follicles. They are growing nicely; I have 5 on one side and six on the other.
That is the good news.
The bad news, however, is that my womb lining has not been so co-operative. From being “lovely and thin” at the first scan it is now worryingly thin, having failed to plump up along with the follicles.
In fact the womb lining is so miserly and unwelcoming the doctors have decided that it isn’t worth trying to implant anything in there.
The plan now is to go ahead with egg retrieval (probably on Saturday) and try and make some embryos, then freeze what they can and hopefully they’ll have something to implant at a later date.
I’m miserable. I’d say I feel deflated but my aching ovaries are making me feel quite the opposite. (They really are pretty painful.)
I am worried. In the previous two cycles nothing was frozen. I am worried that this time it’ll be the same story.
There is a little bit more good news, I only had two people coming round last night Trick or Treating. The upshot is I have a big tin of chocolate in the house – I suspect I won’t still have it tomorrow.
And I may as well go back to work next week, so I won’t be in such dire financial straits.
ugh. I'm sorry. There really is nothing to be said that can make it any better. Have some chocolate and know there are lots of us hoping you have a few frozen embryos next week. Thinking of you, Liz.
ReplyDeleteAh shit Liz, I'm so sorry to hear that. Are there any drugs they can give you to thicken the lining, like prognynova or viagra? Viagra could make for an interesting post?!
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry. This is infuriating and deflating. Take care of yourself... I'm pulling hard for some frozen embryos. Sending thoughts and love -
ReplyDeleteBugger bugger BUGGER bugger bugger. And shit.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping very much for a delectable selection of frosties. I am hoping very much I am not hoping in vain. I am sorry your womb lining is SUCH an uncooperative bastard. I'm only glad you have chocolate, which I think is medically necessary at this point.
Hugs.
Crapity crap, I hate the whole lining thing, but FETs can work even with just one lone embryo-- mines trying to jam a dog toy in his mouth as I type.
ReplyDeleteWish there was something I could do to make it less frustrating but I'm afraid all I can say is that I'm sorry it's not going the way you hoped. That sucks. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteBuggery Fuckington. Arse. Etc. I'm so, so sorry, lovey, that was not what I was hoping for. Will they freeze at Cleavage or Blast?
ReplyDeleteOh no -how horrible for you.
ReplyDeleteFucking frustrating. Ugh. It is just so frustrating and annoying. Know that we are here for support. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly with Chon - fucking frustrating, very frustrating. I really hope things start turning around for you.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's not right. I shall blame the doctors for this. Fuck.
ReplyDeleteIn that case, put all your effort into making some fantastic eggs, give your husband a little extra protein or something, and make some fantastic frozen embryos - enough to keep you going until you can't afford any more children.
Mothereffer. I'm so sorry, Liz. Sheesh. What a massive disappointment to be put off yet again.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry...I was so hoping for good news for you....Keeping thoughts positive for you and a good retrieval and freeze rate!!! Eat away at the chocolate....
ReplyDeleteDamn. I'm sorry, Liz. This is rotten, rotten luck. And I know how hard it is to dig yourself out of that particular hole. I realize that everything now is riding on the embryos making it to blast, and to freeze. And this is where I'm putting all my good juju for you. (And there are doctors who think that waiting to transfer in another, natural cycle yields better chances... I'd like you to be part of that statistic).
ReplyDeleteDammit. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and hoping for a good freeze.
ReplyDeleteThis sucks! I hope you get some good embryos to freeze. Your lining can be juicily plumped with estrogen in the future. Everything crossed for a good outcome out of this.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh....I can't imagine how upset you are! What about vaginal viagra to plump it up??
ReplyDeleteHugz! I'm so sorry to hear that. Try to focus on the good news. Eat that chocolate and grow those follicles! Hoping and praying you get lots of frosties.
ReplyDeleteCan you take some red raspberry leaf capsules? I took them on my last IVF and the lining plumped up right away (and now I have a daughter). Just buy them at any health food store and take three a day. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that you've had bad news mixed with good news... I wish IVF could be smooth sailing on every step... I often wonder what it has to be so complicated :( Thinking of you for your retrieval xoxo
ReplyDeleteOH UNPRINTABLE CURSES. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am crossing fingers hard for you and wishing there was more I could do.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There's nothing they can do to plump it up in time? I'm guessing not. Argh. Unbelievably frustrating. xxxx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this. I hope they manage to freeze some good ones and that you eventually do get the result you want so badly...
ReplyDeleteUgh. Arse. Bugger. Feck.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry liz. I hate uncooperative womb linings with a passion, as you know. Did you get a measurement?
Hugs, and much chocolate x
Fuckdamn Liz. That is shitty news to get, can't they grow it up with some other drug? Surely they can pump you with some estrogen or something?
ReplyDeleteIt's such a mindfuck :(
Anything I went thru it was never near as much as you've been going thru these past years, and for that I am so sorry that you've had such a hard time. Just know that so many people from around the globe cheer you on and send good thoughts and wishes. I only wish that good thoughts & wishes could give you a positive end result. We'll be checking back and here when you need us.
ReplyDeleteOh no! My heart goes out to you and I'm still rooting for some good quality embies that you can freeze. I'm going to stay hopeful!!
ReplyDelete