Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Ready for my Operation

You know when bloggers apologise for not blogging for ages and all you think is: “At least my reader hasn’t been so intimidatingly full for the last few days.”

Well.

That.

My news is that I had my pre-op last week. For someone of a generation who has been bought up to associate pre-ops with footballers having unfortunate run-ins with attractive, Adam’s apple (and plum) bearing, um, ladies. My pre-op was disappointingly unexotic.

It is basically filling out a questionnaire with help, a nurse ticks the boxes rather me. I confirmed I don’t have:
Diabetes
Angina
Deep veined thrombosis
Dentures
Fillings
Pace maker
Weight-problem
A bad reaction to anaesthetic
A recreational drug habit
A pregnancy …

Exactly the same questions that, I know from past experience, they will ask me at least twice on the morning of the operation itself. Still always best to weed out the weak and sickly in advance.

The most exciting bit was the MRSA test. This involves shoving two cotton-buds (Q-tips) up one nostril, swirling it round five times, then repeating the process for the second nostril, then popping the sticks in a little tube. You cannot help but look to see what has come out. In my case disappointingly little of the green stuff, and I wonder whether this isn’t just a sly way of working out who the coke takers are.

Then I gave some blood, because the hospital seems incapable of seeing me without taking a few vials. I like to think that rather than testing for anything that I am single-handedly keeping London’s stocks of A positive blood.

I should probably get a badge*.

The finale was going to see my consultant. The one who never replied to my emails about whether I was “on the list”. It wasn’t a proper (by which I mean wait 6 weeks or pay two hundred quid appointment) appointment, I dashed in to get a consent form signed.

 “Next week!” he exclaimed upon seeing I had the appointment booked, “Well, that was quick” he continued happily. Bearing in mind this man is going to be helping create any future babies I have I decided not to take him to task on his slack responses, but just agreed and to get the bloody thing signed. More or less the same approach I adopted when marrying my now husband as we prepared to sign the marriage register.

So I am now ready for my operation on Thursday.

It will be under General Anaesthetic (which always sounds like an Asterix character to me) but just as a day-patient so it isn’t a big deal. Essentially they are going to dive into my uterus, and take out as much of my womb lining as they conceivably can, to allow me a fresh start to conceivably conceive. They’ll test what they’ve taken out to check that nothing seriously nasty is growing – that the cells that were pre-cancerous have started behaving themselves. Then, assuming I get the all clear, I'll go for IVF in October or November.



*Hancock’s Half hour reference. I don’t really think I should get a medal.**

(** I do really.)***

(*** Nothing fancy, but maybe with a bit of enamel on it.)




16 comments:

  1. A definite step in the right direction! Sending good thoughts for Thursday.

    Impressive that they test for MRSA over there. Here they just let people show up at the hospital and get what they get.

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  2. All set so! Good luck. Fingers crossed for Thursday, and so what if this makes work impossible? WHATEVER IT TAKES.

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  3. A badge would never be more deserved in my opinion. Would a home made one suffice?

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  4. Hoping Thursday goes smoothly and offers sweet, sweet dreams.

    (Also, my MRSA test at our local hospital required me to go into a bathroom and swap the inside fold of my thigh. I was negative, presumably for both MRSA and being grimy. Fortunately they make everyone do this, as otherwise I was concerned I was being swabbed due to perceived sexual proclivities.)

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  5. I'll knit you a medal, shall I?

    Will be thinking of you on Thursday. Very hard. Lots and lots. Nice healthy uterus thoughts.

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  6. I really have no idea what most of the references in this post are about. But good luck on Thrusday and don't be shy about asking for pain or nausea meds!

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  7. Fabulous news - roll on Thursday, and then Oct/Nov!!

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  8. Good luck! Hope you'll be feeling all refreshed and renewed after the surgery... ;)

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  9. Great news! Sending good thoughts

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  10. I used to love Hancock's Half Hour.

    I'll prepare you a rosette.

    x

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  11. Goodest of luck Liz...xxx

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  12. Good Luck! I hope that they do a fantasmagorically good job :)

    x

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  13. Octtober/November, here we come.

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