Every day this week I have said I'll do it. Every day this week I have chickened out.
The letter is written.
It sits patiently in my desk drawer waiting to be delivered to my boss.
It is clear, and slightly more formal than my normal missives.
It includes choice phrases like "seven and a half years of service", "exemplary sickness record", "endeavoured to ensure my work has not suffered", and my particular favourite "emotionally destabilising time."
It refers to the closest concession to my situation that I can find, after hours of trawling Human resources' website:
Discretionary Leave my be granted on medical or compassionate grounds or in the interests of ensuring the domestic life of the member of staff remains stable.
The letter requests 6 weeks unpaid leave for the duration of my next IVF. I have worked out when the least disruptive time would be for me to take this leave, it means waiting a bit longer than I'd hope for round three (until October / November) but, if it is granted it will be worth the wait.
I am quite scared.
I don't know why. The worst he can do is say no, the best is say yes, and there are various middle-ground concessions that would still make my life a little bit easier.
I am certainly not going to be sacked for asking.