I knew they wouldn't let me down.
I saw my mother-in-law today. Remember when I told them about our forthcoming IVF, how I rubbed my hands with glee at what new age nonsense would be thrust my way. And then nothing...
Well, today I was given something else to rub in my hands. A disc:
It was made by their healer, Roger. The dimensions of the disc are calculated using sacred geometry (I am not making this up, they might be, but I'm not).
I am to hold the disc in my left hand for twenty minutes at a time and that should do the trick. Like, THE trick.
This unassuming thing is all that stands between me and a successful pregnancy.
Yes. As it happens, I am deeply skeptical. But do you know what? I'll give it a go.
Can't do any harm.
Can it?
I saw my mother-in-law today. Remember when I told them about our forthcoming IVF, how I rubbed my hands with glee at what new age nonsense would be thrust my way. And then nothing...
Well, today I was given something else to rub in my hands. A disc:
It was made by their healer, Roger. The dimensions of the disc are calculated using sacred geometry (I am not making this up, they might be, but I'm not).
I am to hold the disc in my left hand for twenty minutes at a time and that should do the trick. Like, THE trick.
This unassuming thing is all that stands between me and a successful pregnancy.
Yes. As it happens, I am deeply skeptical. But do you know what? I'll give it a go.
Can't do any harm.
Can it?
You're speaking to a woman who ALSO let a stranger stick a needle in her taint in the hopes of getting pregnant. Personally, I wouldn't judge you if you were required to hold it between your butt-cheeks for 20 minutes a day.
ReplyDeleteWhat on earth is it made OF?
I'm just doing injectibles (and ovulated 8 eggs last night, scans say another 3 today) and am not above pandering to "the universe" and its various crazies; glad to hear you aren't too. (and if it works, can you ship it to me in Canada? :P)
ReplyDeleteSacred geometry? Hmm. And seriously the healer is called Roger?! But as someone who ate brazil nuts bythe bushel I'm not judging!
ReplyDeleteHey, why not?
ReplyDeleteI wonder what happens if they get the dimensions wrong?
The things we infertiles are willing to do.
ReplyDeleteHey, if it works, could you have one sent to New Mexico?
As long as you don't sprain anything laughing, I can only imagine it couldn't harm you. :)
ReplyDeleteI bet it makes for a good worrying stone too. I'm sure it provides some much-needed distraction (and maybe a giggle or two...).
ReplyDeleteI think all geometry is sacred. It's math!
ReplyDeleteThe disk looks of a very nice size for comfortable clasping and I, the most skeptical person on the planet, think that holding it would be fun and soothing. Have a good time using it as a stress-aid.
(I got a fertility figurine from a friend to help us in our efforts. I was deeply touched by the sentiments, and now Multiple Vagina'd Statuette is totally sitting on our dresser where it makes me smile every morning. The point is, be happy that your disk is not covered in vaginal imagery, so you can take it with you out of the house!)
Can I have one too? Wow, this disc is the answer to all of our prayers and problems! Infertiles we will be no more!
ReplyDeleteI am not superstitious, either. Pfft! But you know, it'd be wrong not to apologise to the fairies when I am trimming the hawthorn.
ReplyDeleteJUST IN CASE. You know?
I haven't got a superstitious bone in my body. It just made good sense to me to rub the belly of the "fertility buddha" I was given...
ReplyDeleteAL LAST! THE SOLUTION! I am also grateful that you don't have to do anything more elaborate than hold it. And I hope the combination of some holiday, some work turns out to be the perfect solution to the two week wait. And most of all, of course, that this is THE ONE.
ReplyDeleteSo THAT's what we were missing all those years! And, you can skip in on ponds, too! Dual purpose! Woohoo!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry...i died at the needle in the taint of the first commenter. LOL! We IFers are a daring breed I must say.
ReplyDeleteJust started following your blog, love this post! ITA, us infertiles are willing to try anything and everything to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteHaha..a magic disc now?! Amazing!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait until it gives you a million babies.
Well it won't do you any harm in any case. I'm constantly greeting single magpies these day. Apparantly the "one for sorrow" thing with a sighting of a single magpie is negated if you greet the magpie. So I'm driving around waving and saying "Hello Mr Magpie". Superstitious? Me?
ReplyDeleteIf it works...send it my way :)
ReplyDeleteI once ate a dry piece of apple that had been sitting in a bowl for ages yet had been blessed in a monastery. (Or was it just the priests leftover lunch snack?)I hope the disc works, if not you can always stick it in the DVD player and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I would have sacrificed a skunk during a full moon if I thought it had the most minuscule chance of helping.
ReplyDeleteI'm just catching all up again. I'm blaming work and my dogs and my husband and life in general (because clearly it couldn't be me - I have it all together). Anyway, I love that you had so many more embryos this go around and good quality at that! Day 5 transfer with 2 good lookers is sounding really positive to me (bad pun intended). Everything crossed for you (with a skunk at the ready if needed).
I so want to add a damn smiley face here, but I know how much you hate those things...so I just typed this whole paragraph instead.
...but if you do get pregnant, you'll always have that nagging thought: Was it the disc?
ReplyDeleteHey might work! At least it makes you laugh, which is super important
ReplyDeleteI've heard of sacred geometry, but have never seen or heard of a disc that increases your fertility. Would make a good eBay business selling those LOL
ReplyDeleteAfter initially doing a *snort* I then recalled the truck load of brazil nuts I ate to the point of never being able to eat another, and pineapple juice I glugged at specific points, and gallons of soup I drank during the 2wws.
ReplyDeleteWho am I to snort at mumbojumbo??