Monday, 18 April 2011

What do you do on your two week wait?

Yesterday the Wombmate had an embryo transferred.

In a rare display of twin-telepathy we both spent Sunday curled on our separate sofas moving only gingerly and when absolutely necessary. 

The reason for my lethargy was not, however, transfer related but had much more to do with the fall out from a Fortieth birthday party the night before.

Fortieths have become my nemesis, remember last summer

Once again, from now, I'll be staying off the hooch until my next IVF fails, or produces an heir. But, whilst I groaned in self-administered agony, my wombmate seems to have had a more productive day:

I am now officially in my two week wait. Obviously I’ve done this before but this time I know that, at least at the start, there is a real embryo involved, I even have a photo. So what to do with myself? I thought I’d take some inspiration from the web.

Firstly, I discovered there are significant differences between those sites targeted at IVF waiters and those who are doing it in the more natural way. The latter advise long hot baths and sex. My understanding is that these are not a good idea and not just sex, but orgasms are out. No one mentioned this at the clinic so I don’t know if there is scientific proof but I’ve seen it on several different sites – any experts out there?

And the rest of the advice? Well there is the usual stuff, watch films, go for walks, cook food etc. However, I have found some gems, (these are not all from the same website):

1. Get rid of toxic chemicals in your house
I’m no expert, but is now the time to be messing about with rat poison?

2. Investigate life insurance
Yes, very sensible. But surely considering death and serious injury are unlikely to put you in a relaxed mood conducive for conception.

3. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family.
Can’t help thinking this is a bit beyond the call of duty, and I'm not exactly sure how you do this.

4. Meditation and prayer can help ground could also speak with your baby spirit...
Maybe I’m too British for this one but the latter suggestion sounds decidedly ‘ungrounded’.

5. Practice peeing on a stick - with a Q tip
Now, I’m speechless...


  1. These are hilarious! I love the delegation of worry, and I'm equally astounded by the speaking with the baby spirit and peeing on a Q tip. Just when I thought I had heard it all...

  2. Oh my lawd. I do none of these. I spend most of my time counting. I count the days of my last cycle, how many days I'm into to this cycle, how many days until I test. I count the miles I walk to be healthy, and the drinks and cigarettes I don't have. How old my daughter and I will be when it's born should it work this time, (who cares about the husband's age apparently) and then I start over and do it for my not yet had next cycle to see when the due date is for that one. Then I write all this out on your blog, and start to count how many therapy sessions it would take for me to be considered sane again. Blah. :))

  3. Looks like you could get #3 taken care of - the fortunate Wombmate.

    I...don't know what to say about #5 either, or numbers 1 and 4, for that matter.

    As to #2, that sounds boring rather than distracting. Unless, for some reason, you are thinking of killing your spouse to collect the life insurance. Then it just seems wrong.

  4. I was thinking "hmm, very interesting" until the Q-tip and now I can't stop laughing!

  5. wow. I know infertile women tend be kinda crazy, but seriously this list makes us sound like a bunch of lunatics! The second part of #4 and #5 are clear winners in my book!!!

  6. Q-tip? I think a popsickle stick sounds more appropriate.

  7. I think the whole orgasm thing is avoiding uteral contractions...gooooood luck!

  8. fun times, peeing on q tips....

  9. A q tip may have helped me...I don't know how those POAS addicts, you know multiple times a day, do it. I'm the worst!!!

    Hope the 2WW goes by quickly...I do like the idea of delegating each day to a friend...let them do the worrying for you.

    I've also heard laughter helps...I don't know if this is for sure or not, but there was a study about women post transfer who watched clowns and had better results than those who didn't have the clowns...I hate clowns so I just watched comedies and laughed my butt off!!!

  10. I'm not really understanding the concept of splitting up my worry time. I can't stop worrying, even when I'm asleep, so I don't really think asking my husband or mom to worry for me is going to help matters any.

  11. haha... love it - all brilliant ideas to drive you slightly more bonkers!!!

  12. #3 has me giggling. And giggling some more.

  13. Ha, ha! No, really? Blimey. Who writes this stuff? Get other people to WORRY for you? Practice peeing? Because that's so difficult...?

    Words fail me.

  14. I tend to spend the two week wait prodding my boobs to see how sore they are. I'm not sure how I'd carry out No. 3 - get someone else to prod them for me? Get them to prod their own and tell me how sore they are?
    As for the practising peeing, well, I'm speechless that anybody would need to do that!
    Good luck!

  15. Wow! Where did you find those? I'm pretty sure you have peed on enough sticks, to not need practice! Good Lord! Relax as much as possible, indulge if need be in foods that comfort, and pray. We're praying for you too!

  16. Well, you certainly managed to find some of the most entertaining advice for the 2ww... hope it helps!!

  17. Wow. Number five. That's a winner. Except I doubt my aim is that good.

    Oneofhismoms actually had TWO 2ww advent calendars ( I've meant to do one but never got around to it.

    (Do I detect a possible niche in the market?)

  18. Love the practice peeing on a Q tip one!


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