Saturday, 23 April 2011

IT'S A CARD!

I've said on here before that, whilst finding out a friend is pregnant can be incredibly tough, by the time they have the baby I have had six to eight months to get use to the idea and am delighted (and relieved) when I hear the baby has been delivered safely and the mother and child are doing well.

I have a few superstitions.  I don't buy a congratulations card or gift until I've had that text (and it always is a text - usually at some ungodly hour).

But because I can't plan ahead I am then thrown into a panic.

I scurry round the shops looking for the perfect card.  The card that says "Awesome! I hope you aren't too ripped, and fingers crossed you've got a sleeper."

Unfortunately this is where Hallmark and I differ.  I have yet to find that card.

For the past two weeks I have wandered in and out of card shops and I reckon that I now have a pretty intimate knowledge of all the new baby cards on offer in central London.  I've blogged about this before, here, however on this occasion because my friend has a daughter of reading age no sweary cards were allowed.

The thing that annoys me most about these cards is all they seem to do is state the obvious:

IT'S A GIRL!

You imagine the Mother opening it thinking "er .. yeah ... I know. I told you that in the text I sent you at 5.24am when she was born"

Or simply:

NEW BABY!!

Like the parents are going to open the card slap their foreheads and say "Oh shit, that's what the funny crying noise is."

And the imagery.

Like you'd give your Dad who is into Golf a card with a bunch of golf clubs on the front, or your sister who likes shoes a card in the shape of a stiletto the designers have clearly thought. "Hmmm ... what do babies like?"

But rather than getting cards with a pair of milk-filled boobs on the front, or a satisfyingly full nappy they go for babies booties, a rattle or pram.

It got me thinking there really should be a range of cards for IVF babies. These kind of slogans I'm thinking of:

Better late than never

Or:

Worth every penny ... but that's the college fund spent

Or simply:
A Miracle of Science

And for twins:

Two for the price of one!

or

Awesome! The spare came through too

Come on, you are a creative bunch, any other ideas?

(And if you are reading this tirade thinking the whole post is just an elaborate way to subtly apologise to my mate for taking two weeks to send a card, well, then, you'd be quite right.

Soz Wig, the card's in the post. )




13 comments:

  1. I only wish I were as creative as you! However, I am good at sending cards promptly, so we all have our strengths, I suppose. :)

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  2. Great idea! How about "thrilled your RE finally got your protocol right! Congratulations!"

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  3. Love this idea... how about...

    "Congrats! You *finally* landed on the right side of the success rates!"

    Or...

    "Glad all those injections and bruises finally paid of!"

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  4. Brilliant, Liz, looking forward to your much deliberated card arriving! You should have folded a piece of paper in half and written just what you said...would certainly tackle my main concerns in the days after the birth (and blame the bank holidays for any delay). love Wig xxxx

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  5. Here are two cards for people expecting triplets;

    We know what you were thinking (at the peak of orgasm)... Oh baby, Oh baby, Oh baby!

    or

    That's what you get for doing it three times in one night... triplets. (We tell people this and they look at us funny, some even ask if we're serious!?)

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  6. "Given how long this one took, I take it you're already trying again"

    and

    "Worth his/her weight in Follistim"

    and

    "Congratulations!! (Can I have your leftover Crinone?)"

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  7. LOL!! and that doggone marissa is hillarious too.

    How about The best thing to come out of a freezer since ice cream! Congrats.

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  8. Oh god I just died laughing. "The spare came through too." HA ha ha ha hhaha. Thank you. You should start a line of BS-free cards. Seriously. That is a wide open niche.

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  9. oh my goodness, I am dying laughing... So good!

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  10. Hey hun..I just gave you an award! Check out my blog :)

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  11. WOW, some incredibly creative folks read your blog. I especially like Wonder Woman's "The best thing to come out of a freezer since ice cream, congrats!"

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  12. These are all hysterical!! how about something along the lines of "Congrats!! Now can I have your extra embryos?"

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  13. You should sell those. Seriously. Actually, I sometimes make my own cards, if you don't mind I'll steal your ideas... that is, if I ever know someone with a matching sense of humor that successfully does IVF.

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