Saturday, 19 March 2011

On Injections

You may remember that I was somewhat apprehensive about the thought of self-injecting prior to this IVF.

Then I did it. And it was fine.

This was the needle I was using for the egg stimulant (Menopur) injection. Note the archaeologist's trick of using a penny to give you a sense of scale - there is a reason for that.



The needle is tiny, it genuinely doesn't hurt.

Next, after egg collection, I graduated onto Fragmin.  The needle is fractionally larger and the liquid a touch stingier. It wasn't pleasant, but it was still eminently do-able.



The real humdinger has been the extra progesterone that I was given on Thursday when I started bleeding.  It is a behemoth of a needle:



Every bit as bad as it looks*.

Whilst the other two injections were flab-based, this one has to cut through my protective layer and go straight into the muscle - hence the extreme length.  But it isn't even the injection that it the worse bit.  I can still feel the bruising from the Thursday and Friday night injection.

The two I've had so far have been plunged into fresh buttocks. Tonight I get the injection in the same place as the first, bruise upon bruise.

I would do it quite cheerfully if I genuinely held onto any hope that it could change the ending. However, it feels like I am bolting this stable door after the horse has long since gone the way of Shegar. I am utterly convinced this cycle is bust.

These painful injections just feel like self-flagelation, penance for having a defective womb that no amount of pineapple and Brazil nuts can coax into hanging onto a embryo.

So sure I am that it hasn't worked I've allowed myself a small beer tonight.

But never fear.

Here it is to scale:



*NO NO NO! IT TURNS OUT I WAS USING THE WRONG BLOODY NEEDLE!



27 comments:

  1. That needle looks evil. Sorry you're going through this. As per your last post though I haven't heard any fat ladies yet. Enjoy your beer, I hope you soon have a reason to be rationing your beer intake for a while longer.

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  2. Ahhhh, that needle! You are amazing lovely lady and I've never seen a beer cup that cute. Rooting for you lovely lady!

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  3. Oh Liz,
    A parcel of hugs is in the post for you.

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  4. Those needles do suck. Holding onto hope for you.

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  5. Yikes, needleus maximus! Poor you. What a mindwrecking thing. I am really sorry you are in this horrible limbo.

    (And thanks for the penny. That was very helpful. I think a career as a museum curator is waiting for you!)

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  6. Seriously painful!! Many ((hugs)) your way.

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  7. Hats off to anyone who can self-inject their meds, I'd be almost too faint every time. My parents must have slept easier knowing I'd never turn into a junkie when I grew up PMSL!

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  8. A friend of mine says it's not as bad if you ice down the spot before Injecting. Since I already know I'll be using this type of progesterone in my IVF cycle, I've procured some nice ice packs for just that purpose.


    Thinking of you!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

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  9. Oh. Sweet. Mercy. You are a woman to marvel at. If I ever have to stick myself with those things, I'm going to have to be sure I only look at the length of the needle *after* the injection. I don't think any amount of restraint (mental or physical) would be able to keep me still. You are *amazing.*

    PS: Still holding out hope. And I've heard that beer is actually somewhat helpful in terms of iron content. The alternate source of iron is well deserved.

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  10. You are hilarious - even when things are not looking great. I love your tiny little beer.

    I do not love the needles. I gave myself the progesterone injection, and the worst part of it was the anticipation. But I'm really glad I didn't have to find another spot or do any repeats. Hope it's all for a good cause.

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  11. Holy Moly! That's a big needle.

    As for taking it, I've heard you should space them out on your behind by a few inches. I hope things end up working out for you. No fat ladies singing!

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  12. Try a heating pad afterwards...it does wonders! I never used ice and was advised against it since it actually tightens up the muscle. Good luck!

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  13. Just catching up here. There is nothing worse than the wait, especially when there's bleeding to wonder about. I really, really hope that your body is as screwed up as mine and your bleeding is compatible with a healthy pregnancy. I'm not giving up till you get the final word on Monday.

    P.S. - That is the cutest little beer I have ever seen.

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  14. Yeah. I really hate the "continuing meds" part after the crap. Always hated it. Sometimes I stopped anyway when I was getting bfns at home. ugh. I'm sorry Liz.

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  15. Oi. I'm still hoping for you but totally understand the sanity beer.

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  16. Ouch. Ouch. OUCH.

    Still keeping all available digits crossed (in fact I am typing this with my nose).

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  17. It's a tiny beer, and even if it were a pint, it'd still be ok - there's no placental anything until 21 days past conception. I hope you're wrong!

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  18. Oh Liz, can't anything go smoothly in this stupid journey. So sorry to read about the bleed, hoping like hell the progesterone does it's trick and you get the best news in a couple of days.

    H nearly passed out just looking at that needle. Ouch. Sending you bucketloads of good luck.

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  19. Ouch! Still holding out hope for you. Fingers crossed!!!!

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  20. Been there done that and it sucks. Shots while waiting for the seemingly inevitable outcome hurts so much. Screw the physical pain. That's tolerable. The waiting rips you apart. I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this.

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  21. They are a form of torture, it's true. And 10x the torture when you think the cycle is a bust. (Still hoping for you, Liz, but I know that it feels like an outside chance).

    It's almost unfathomable that a needle that long goes all the way in. And when I think about the shots that are an inevitable part of any adult life - the flu shots, travel immunizations, etc. - I scoff.

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  22. Oh my damn! Now I'm scared! That's OUR next step!

    Love the beer and penny. Good of you to keep your humor about you!

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  23. Small beer or large, if you are pregs you are and it won't affect it! Holding out hope for you hunny :)

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  24. Ugh. I'm so sorry! You'll have a degree in archaeology as well as medicine soon. Sending hugs across the pond.

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  25. Oh, ouch.
    Good luck- fingers crossed it all works.

    Of course, you have just invoked the ancient fertility ritual of "I am not pregnant so I will drink", which works with irritating regularity for the non-fertility challenged.

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