Monday, 28 February 2011

Key To The Door

I was going to write that the nurse who greeted me when I arrived for my egg collection was the most miserable medical professional I had ever encountered during this whole process. But that would be misleading, as it would imply that she actually greeted me - call me old skool but I don't consider the single word "Name?" a greeting.

She was elderly (I overheard later that she is shortly to leave the practice after 21 years) and for the first hour her face didn't crack a smile as she shuffled round the ward dealing with her patients. When, grudgingly, she approached my bed a flick of her wrist indicated I should follow her and a nod of her head that I should stand on the scales.

I made it my mission to get a smile out of her as I grinned at her like a psychotic Cheshire cat. Nothing.

The husband had been patiently waiting to produce his sample and eventually, an eye on the time, asked her in a low voice:

"When will I have to do my ... thing?"

And here he succeeded where I had failed.

With a broad smile on her face she replied loudly, so the rest of the ward were in no doubt as to what he was talking about, "You'll have to wait for the embryologist arrives before you do your ..." deep breath, snort of laughter "... THING!"

He did his thing in the luxurious producing room:

Sexy, huh? This, arguably (and all going well), is where our future baby started (half) it's life.

To be fair to the woman she clearly just isn't a morning person, she mellowed and cheered up in the hours I was there between 8am and 3:30pm. By the time I left she was positively chirpy, I didn't take that personally.

Pre-egg collection I had to go through the normal questions, 'was I allergic to anything', 'when had I last eaten', 'did I have any caps or crowns.' The one that threw me was "Are you on any medication?"  I literally gaped in the Jackie-Chan-school-of-acting manner, lost for words, as an image of the 36 injections I have taken in the last fortnight sprang to mind. The anaesthetist briskly corrected himself, "Anything we haven't prescribed?"

The egg collection was done under a general anaesthetic so I can't shed any light on that. Other than it was really peaceful and it took almost exactly an hour between going under and reviving.

As soon as I woke up I felt fine, compos mentis and alert.  I texted the husband who had gone home (we are lucky enough to live just 12 minutes walk from the clinic) almost immediately.

It is only upon rereading my text some half hour later that I had to concede I maybe shouldn't try and operate light machinery in the near future:

"Itn out . Take you time coming over. Pleads cam you gring salt & vigniger mscoyos & leamomade."

[Translation: "I'm out. Take your time coming over. Please can you bring Salt & Vinegar McCoys & Lemonade?"]

But 'nuff of all that. Do you want to know the score?  Did you guess it from the title?

Twenty-one little eggs. Far more than I even dared to hope. (Though not as many as all of the lovely Good Luck wishes I've had from you lot, which has been amazing to read - thank you.)

Now, I have to contend with the worry about Ovarian Hyper Stimulation disorder - but for today: W00T!



33 comments:

  1. I must be on the slow pills today, totally missed your clue! WOW.... 21? WOW!!!! I hope they all survive and do what they need to do in time for transfer (ok, I didn't meant to transfer aaaalll 21 embies LOL!)

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  2. Oooh 21 eggs! Congratulations! Love your story about the grumpy nurse. :)

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  3. That's lovely news: fabulous egg quantities!

    I envy your instant transition from sleeping to waking following heavy sedation. I used to be able to do that, but now, I have to groan my way to consciousness over the space of a couple of hours, fighting the oxygen mask every inch of the way.

    Fingers crossed for decent fertilisation!

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  4. WHOOP WHOOP!!

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  5. Great news! Hope your husband's things do a good job now :)

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  6. Twenty one eggs?! Thats awesome! Congratulations!!!!! How Exciting! I feel like I'm using a lot of exclamations, but this is fantastic news!

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  7. 21 eggs? Egg-cellent news! (sorry, I couldn't resist.

    "Key to the door" is that one of those cool Cockney rhyme thingies? You'll have to explain for us Yanks!

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  8. Wow 21 eggs - way to go! Rooting for your eggs and sperm to GET IT ON!

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  9. Woot!!! That's amazing! I can't begin to tell you how totally excited and anxious I am for you! This is a long time coming and I feel like I've been right there with you. :) Looking forwatd to more good news.

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  10. YEAH! 21!!! Congratulations!!!! Looking forward to what comes next!!!

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  11. Woot, woot!!! Twenty-one...it is a very good number. A beautiful number.

    That's a very funny text. I hope you got your salt and vinegar crisps (which also infers that your husband is a brilliant cracker of drug-induced codes).

    Now, dim the lights, let's put on a little Barry White, and may those eggs and swimmers have at it.

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  12. 21 eggs in a single clutch... gor' blimey that's potentially quite a handful you've got there! Best of luck on your future litter ;-)

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  13. so awesome! I am so excited for you. A long time coming.

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  14. Wow, what a fantastic haul! Congrats!

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  15. Wowsa! 21 is a great haul. Fingers crossed for great fertilisation too.

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  16. Your ovaries have officially Impressed me. I hope they now take the opportunity to deflate politely and have a peaceful little nap.

    Seriously, SERIOUSLY, the wankatorium is called the PRODUCING room? I can't stop laughing.

    21! OOOOH!

    And, as always, fingers crossed.

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  17. 21 is amazing!! So pleased for you!

    Hope your fertilisation report is good!
    x

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  18. Twenty one is fabulous!!! Your text made me laugh (and I'm on a client call!). Rest up...

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  19. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for your fert report! I can't remember--are you doing ICSI?

    Good luck, and let's hope the sperm do their "thing" perfectly!

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  20. Love that text...

    YAY for the awesome egg retrieval number!!! Can't wait for the fert report!

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  21. :-D
    Soooo happy for you. Fingers crossed!

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  22. WOW, 21 is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!

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  23. Awwwww...I had 21 too. :-) It's a good thing! Yay!

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  24. 21...that is awesome!!! Gatorade...drink lots of it :) I can't believe they put you under general anesthesia...why not local? It's so much safer!! Anyways..congrats again and can't wait to see how many babies you make!

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  25. Wow-wee! 21 eggs! Looks like you are producing like a spring chicken! Hopefully the hubby had equally good "production" of things in the producing room. That title just makes me giggle!

    I am wishing you great fertilization and quality on your little eggies there!

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  26. 21 eggs is incredible! When do you get the fertilization report?

    I have no memory of waking up after retrieval. I vaguely remember walking out to the car, though.

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  27. 21 eggs??????? Wow! You are an amazing responder!!!! I can't wait to hear the fertilization report. Rest up!

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  28. WOW, 21 eggs is wonderful!!!! You are a champion! :-)

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  29. Awesome, awesome, awesome! Worth dealing with any b*tch receptionist. So excited to hear the fertilization report!

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  30. Oh that is lots of eggs awesome! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous that you had a general and that is some kinda standard practice. Best of luck, wish I could say it get less stressful from here

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  31. WOOHOO!!! That's a great number of eggs- good work! Love the pic of the room too- so romantic hey... :)

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