Wednesday, 15 December 2010

‘Twill be the day before Christmas

‘Twill be the day before Christmas, when all through the streets
People will be rushing, buying last minute treats
But Womb For Improvement will miss this preparation
As I’ll be in hospital for a womb-cleaning operation

I didn’t write to Santa, he didn’t get my letter
I’d emailed the nurses, but then gone one better
A plea to the Doc with my one festive wish
Brought a Christmas Eve appointment and an end to anguish

At half seven in the morning I’ll arrive, nill by mouth
And the doctor’s attentions will head further south
He’ll scurry up my chimney and clear out my womb
In the hope it’ll kick start next year’s Baby Boom

I have no idea how I’ll feel the next day
This site seems to think that I should be OK
But I suspect it’ll scupper my chance to indulge
How better to bypass the post-Christmas bulge?


This time apologies must go to, um, Clement Clarke Moore. And for those of you groaning at the back, I promise that this is the last poem post I'll do for a while (well the next date that lends itself to it is Burns Night in January and I don't think I could tackle 'Ode to a Haggis').

And for those who found the post a little obtuse: I emailed my consultant and his secretary called within hours, giving me an appointment for the 24 of December.


  1. I love your poems. :) Yay for an appointment! Hoping this will finally be it.

  2. I love your poems too. Keep 'em coming! Good luck on Christmas Eve. I'll be thinking of you.

  3. Great poem and glad to hear about the plan!

  4. Glad you got your appt. It will certainly give you a free pass on any Xmas washing up.

  5. Good going on the poem (and on being proactive about the appointment) makes the announcement of the new appointment very festive.
    -long time lurker, occassional poster

  6. Really? Christmas Eve? Everything in my neck of the woods has seen fit to shut down that day...since the actual holiday is a Saturday. I'm very proud of you for chasing down the proper channels to an appointment! Excellent job!

  7. yay!! here's hoping it is the xmas present you deserve. on an aside I hope womb mate is going ok with her own diagnosis. merry xmas!

  8. Good news! Sorry it's on Christmas Eve but hooray for it being so soon,

  9. Love the poem; hooray for getting an appointment! I actually wrote one of my university application essays (to the school I ended up attending) as a poem, patterned after "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." :)

  10. I like the line about the doctor's attention heading south. Clever. So glad you got an appointment in a very reasonable amount of time!

  11. Wish rhymes with anguish! Just like in life.

    Good one, WFI. Glad to hear the op is a go. All will done and dusted in time for the new year.

  12. Your poems are fun -- I'm not sure if an appointment on Christmas Eve will be, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

  13. I actually enjoy the poem posts. Especially this one because it's filled with the best form of good cheer. I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas Eve this year: actually GETTING somewhere.

    Thinking of your shiny, happy uterus. (Okay that sounds a bit odd.) How about this? Thinking of the wonderful New Year your brand spanking new uterus will have.

  14. Christmas Eve, eh? Blimey. Hope the site is perfectly accurate and you spend Christmas Day in peace and quiet and feeling comfortable. Fingers pretzeled hoping for a lovely new uterus and a wonderful miraculous 2011 for you.

  15. Your poem was very funny! Best of luck :)

  16. Your poem just cracked me up! Yay for an actual appointment date! Come on, Jan 24th!

  17. Just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow. Hope it goes OK.


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