Monday, 8 November 2010

Hearing aid

Infertiles hear things differently to other people.

They say: "So what's new?"

You hear: "Are you pregnant"

***

They say: "You look well!"

You hear: "You are glowing, are you pregnant?"

***

They say: "Happy Birthday"

You hear: "You're getting on a bit, isn't it time you have children?"

***

They say: "I've got some good news"

You hear: "I'm pregnant"

***

They say: "You'll never guess what!"

You hear: "I'm pregnant"

***

They say: "I feel a bit sick"

You hear: "I'm pregnant"

***

They say: "I'm pregnant"

You hear: "I'm pregnant, and you're not"

***

Any other suggestions?


17 comments:

  1. They say: "I'm tired."
    You hear: "I'm pregnant."

    They say: "Just water for me, thanks."
    You hear: "I'm pregnant."

    ReplyDelete
  2. They say "we are getting married in May"
    You hear "we will be pregnant by the time we get back from honeymoon"

    ReplyDelete
  3. They say: "We're going to start trying for a baby!"

    You hear: "we'll be pregnant next month!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. They say: "have you tried X, Y & Z?"
    You hear: "What's wrong with you? That stuff works for everyone."

    ReplyDelete
  5. they say: Are you planning to have kids soon?

    you hear: He married you, sure hope you arent going to leave him childless.

    ReplyDelete
  6. they say: just relax, it'll happen.

    You hear: why are you getting so stressed over nothing? Besides, it's your own stupid fault you're not getting pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, in my office, the subtext is always lots of fun!

    they say: My son/daughter (fill in the blank)

    you hear what they're really saying: Ha ha. Too bad you don't have kids and can't relate.

    Fortunately, I was not actually the object of this passive-aggressive assault, but I got to watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love it! I feel like I can morph pretty much anything anyone says these days.... freaking fertiles!

    ReplyDelete
  9. They say: I want to have a baby boy.
    You hear: I am pregnant...

    They say: I'm very tired, but I like this pregnancy.
    You hear: What happened to you? Too strange...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is it wrong that I laughed?

    Being the uber fertile but should not be able to get pregnant biatch that I am?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very true. Each and every one. Mine was always:

    They say: So you stuggled to concieve eh - bummer.
    I hear: What do you expect you fat tart?

    Classy I know but there you are.

    ReplyDelete
  12. They say: You just don't understand the meaning of the word love until you hold your baby in your arms.

    You think: I could hit her over the head and stuff her into my desk drawer. No one would need to know.

    Sorry, that's the best I can come up with. This post is hilarious (and so are the comments).

    ReplyDelete
  13. They say: "My kids are little terrors are you sure you want one of these?"

    You hear: "My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me and you know it, and although I think I'm trying to make you feel better, I'm really just passive-aggressively trying to make you feel worse."

    ReplyDelete
  14. They say: Parenting is the hardest thing.

    You think: No, Bitch, not being a parent is harder!

    ReplyDelete
  15. They say : ooh, you are brave to adopt!
    You hear: what kind of weird person are you, that you are so desperate to have children you'll take someone else's?

    ReplyDelete

I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!