Sunday, 12 September 2010


If you can keep your happy face when all about you
Are announcing pregnancies and blaming faulty condoms
If you can remain calm when forever told to “just relax”
Yet make allowances for the naivety of the fertile
If you believe you’ll achieve conception, despite your own body’s effective contraception
Or you’ll carry a child, and not give way to miscarriage
Or allow your men to pause, without fear of hitting the menopause
And don’t panic at the tick of the biological clock

If you can talk at baby showers, and keep your tears in check
If you can read I.F, without seeing the word infertile
If you can plan more nine months hence
And not be stifled with thoughts of ‘maybe…’
But enjoy what happens day by day without mourning the life you planned

If you can meet your period and a positive ovulation and treat those two the same
If you can fill an unsuccessful cycle with 28 more days of hope and love
If you can be pumped full of hormones and remain unmoved
Not crying more, nor allowing yourself to dream

Then yours one day will be the child, and all the love born from sacrifice
And – which is more – you’ll no longer be infertile.

And you’ll be doing a fuck of a lot better than me.

(With apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If you liked this, click here for some more of my better posts (sifting through the dross, so you don't have to).


  1. What an amazing post. I don' think you need to apologize to Rudyard Kipling. On the contrary. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Seconded. Thank you. Incredible.
    Just one thing -with all you have had to endure recently - I think you are doing fucking amazingly... I only hope I would be as strong.

  3. The planning thing is what kills me! How long, exactly, should I put my life on hold?

  4. Beautiful. It had me feeling inspired -- and then laughing my ass off.

  5. Brilliant - rings so close to my thought process, too.

  6. Amen. And whosoever has this amount of bouncebackability is doing much better than me, as well. In fact I think you could write an anti-poem to this one, and it would sum me up exactly.

    I comfort myself with the knowledge that even cynics have babies. (Eventual) pregnancy isn't limited to the Pollyanas of the world (though, sheesh, it does appear to get you there faster).

  7. wondeful! :) Thanks for the smile at the end... I can only do about half of that!

  8. Raising my imaginary glass to this toast :)

  9. *clicking the imaginary like button* Genius! Love the ending :0)

  10. People can actually do this?! I think you have shown incredible strength. There is nothing easy about about IF.

  11. Lovey, your posts just get better and better.

  12. Very well written!

    We have a departmental branch that get the initials FET. I can't think of anything BUT frozen transfers with that. And captial IF in any text or word stands out like neon lights to me.

  13. Thank goodness for the ending or I might have teared up.

    (from the creme)

  14. Love it!! (from Creme de la Creme)

  15. I think Kipling would have liked it. I did.


  16. I'm from the Creme. Thanks for writing.

  17. Here from creme. Liked the poem, loved the ending.

  18. Wow, I was the first person to comment on this post, when it originally went up. Now I'm commenting again, as part of my attempt to comment on every post in the Creme de la Creme. I have to say, I enjoyed this poem even more the second time I read it. All those things you mentioned, all the day to day pains that make IF so darn hard, you captured them so eloquently. But I wondered, this time, at the end. Do you believe if you do those things you will get a child because you will be "worthy" of a child? Or that by doing those things a child will eventually come to you? I realize this time that I'm not sure.

    I so hope that some day "yours one day will be the child". I really, truly do.


I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!