Sunday, 22 August 2010

Time For My Montage

My summer holiday is now over.

A week of eating, drinking, eating some more, lounging without intent (or internet), snacking, boozing, dabbling in the occult, tippling, nomming, has rolled to it's over-fed conclusion.

This was yet another 'final' splurge, hot on the heels of a delay in treatment. And again, it is time to think a bit more about getting IVF ready.

If my life were to be made into a film (and indeed Mr Spielberg, why the hell not?), we would now be entering into the montage sequence.

The next three months would be represented by snippets of me swimming, gyming, laughing gaily whilst being pinned by my acupuncturist, high-fiving the husband as we simultaneously neck pre-conception vitamins, pushing away a cup of tea whilst virtuously sipping some herbal muck. I'd morph from someone who had lost her zest for life to a primed reproductive machine.

At the end of the suitably up-beat montage tune, I'm thinking M People 'Proud,' you'll see me nervously waiting to have the coil removed, the biopsy performed and fervently hoping that all the hard work has been worth it.

Unfortunately, the next three months can't be condensed into 3 minute 51 seconds. I'm actually going to have to work at this, and I need to strike a balance between achievable and destined for failure.

Some things are a given:
  • The acupuncturist is booked
  • Caffeine is already a distant memory
  • I've done it enough times to know giving up booze is, um, possible
  • The gym - I'm going to aim for three times a week but be satisfied with two
  • Vitamins - are easy. At the moment I have to take birth control every night anyway so adding a couple more pill into the mix is fine.
What else do you reckon I should be doing? What do you swear by? Is wheatgrass really worth the taste? Does your Doctor swear that meditation is the answer? Is there one lifestyle change that you think is vital to turn my body from incapacitated to incubatory?

And I want scientifically tested ideas, none of this waterhole swimming gubbins.

Do share.

Or failing that just suggest a better montage tune, Hollywood is waiting.


  1. I will have to think about the one thing I'd really recommend. I did a lot of TCM treatments when I TTC so I'm bound to come up with something. But right now I just had to tell you that I LOVE YOUR MONTAGE BIT! Hilarious. I've totally come across times in life that I realized are really just snippets for a montage, but never before they happened. What a great post - thanks!

  2. COCFOC! as the cool kids say.

    I love a good montage sequence. Rocky got fit and turned his whole life around in under 2 mins! It's just THAT easy.
    If only life was more like Hollywood. My kingdom for a happy ending!
    (So to speak. I don't actually have a kingdom. A small terraced house, just.)

  3. don't leave out the chiropractor!
    (yes - definitely COCFOC)

  4. I worry that your montage in this Hollywood version would ultimately reveal that you are trying too hard and that the faceless medics are just mucking with your plumbing.

    They'll give you an ending with a serendipitous revelation and a complete life-style change. You'll walk out of your stressful city job, move to a remote island on the outer western fringes of the UK to paint, keep chickens, wear orange and swim in waterfalls....

    I have no idea what the music would be to this.

    The credits will roll at the end with a serious of happy family shots showing an increasingly number of children and chickens and a happy little tune.

  5. Oh, please tell me what kind of herbal muck you plan on drinking. I am desperately seeking something to replace my tea in the morning.... even if it's not 1/4 as tasty.

    I wish I had great advice for you, but you seem to be doing better at this body prep than I.

  6. Urgh, hated the being virtuous bit. Hope it goes quickly for you. I got a book by zita west about preparing your body for conception. Ignored the fact it was mostly aimed at fertile people and used the bits that worked for me, I.e no swimming (chlorine bad for fertilty), took the supplements recommended, cut my work hours down and no caffiene or alcohol for either of us. Healthy dirt etc. Also we both drank loads of water and tried to sleep a fair bit. Oh and acupuncture. Who knows if any if it made a difference but one nhs ivf cycle later and i was pregnant with my son. Good luck!

  7. Hmmm honestly I'm a bit over it. Doing this and that right too bloody stressful. I am trying to exercise more (but we are in winter soo... yeah) and I'm eating less takeout. But have consumed more sweets (my student has learned to cook mean brownies). The husband isn't making an effort so I've decided not to bust a gut anymore worring about being perfect. I'm going to RELAX bahahahaha do you think that is a golden piece of advice that you have never heard before? Oh and distractions, new projects to sidetrack your mind for a few precious seconds.

    Whatever you do either will or won't work (you probably won't know what did or didn't help). Just be kind to yourself in the process, you need to keep your sanity formost :)

  8. You're exactly right about the montage. Like Twangy, I kept having visions of Rocky, training for his matches. I also think that the list looks good and - best of all - possible. As far as other things, I could throw a bunch of supplement ideas at you but I think it's a lot of groping in the dark, and not of the nice variety. I like the Royal Jelly in honey concoction (and could refer you to an Iraqi study on Royal Jelly that measures Sexual Efficiency in Adult Male Rats, but I'll spare you)...but take it mostly because I like honey.

    Eat well and get enough sleep: those are the only 2 I'd add. I hope these next three months fly by. (Um. Right.)

  9. Hmm, you've already forgotten your lessons from the summer. You should have a witch as a friend by now and be wearing nothing but orange.
    I have absolutely no advice. The one time I did everything I WASN'T supposed to do to get pregnant, I got pregnant. Oh yes, the one time I "relaxed" was the time it happened - as my mother and my mother-in-law NEVER tire of reminding me. I have completely irritated myself. Grrrrrr.

  10. My acupuncturist suggested taking red raspberry leaf tea, but sure to make it RED raspberry leaf, not the regular ones. Also goji berry is supposed to be very helpful. But make sure you get good ones, not the ones you get at Asian grocery stores, as they can sometimes have red coloring added to make them look more "fresh". I get mine from my acupuncturist, but you can also get them at health food stores or Whole Foods (I think). If not, you can try

  11. Your montage could be Bollywood style. Lots of laughing, running through fields, singing songs and kissing behind trees.

    My only suggestion is to add massages to the mix. Not just accu appointments. But honest to goodness, feel good, touchy massages to help the toxins get out. And good vibes get in! :)

  12. Arriving late to this due to holiday absence but the things I did which would mark me out as a loon to the normal were overdose on brazil nuts, ate loads of protein, drank huge quantities of water - I think that was it. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't.

  13. I'm quite impressed with your montage. Somehow I'm not very consistent with this -- I love coffee, exercise happens when I'm not too stressed at work (though it helps deal with the stress, so I should really go every time), and sperm motility is at least part of our problem and my husband so far neither wants supplements nor keeps his laptop away from the site of production... sigh.
    In general I get the impression that there are two camps -- the high-tech-IVF-will-get-you-there-fastest docs and the your-body-can-do-it-if-you-treat-it-well group. Still don't know which I belong to... a bit of both, perhaps. As soon as I can convince myself and the husband. Good luck to you!


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