I have a love/hate relationship with the gym. The gym loves me because I am one of these suckers who will pay a monthly subscription in the vain, misguided belief that they will use it, whilst not actually cluttering up its posh facilities with their sweat drenched bodies. And I hate the gym.
I do go through phases, last year after joining for a good few months I would engineer whole conversations at work so that I could casually drop into conversation the phrase: "when I was at the gym this morning." I found myself feeling fitter, looking better and thought maybe I had thus gym thing cracked.
But winter, IUI failures and general apathy pretty quickly broke that habit. So now I am starting again.
All last week I tried to get myself motivated, but I just wasn't feeling it.
So what is the solution?
Answer: To throw even more money at the problem.
This weekend I had my first personal training session, and unlike the freebie I got last year I'm actually paying hard cash for this. I have signed up for one session a week for four months. Timed to finish when I should (and who knows if I ever will) be having IVF.
The trainer was a nice guy, very encouraging. Although I am sure I saw a little part of him die behind the eyes when I had to stop my abs exercises because I genuinely thought I was going to faint and or throw up. I blame the progesterone (naturally it was nothing to do with my stomach muscles rebelling after being untroubled for the last 34 years).
He asked me how often I planned going to the gym. Twice a week I thought was achievable, twice a week is the goal I have set myself, twice a week should be ok. So why on earth did I find myself airily saying, "Oh, probably about three times a week"? To which he replied, "Yeah, three or four times a week is about right".
I wonder if this will enable me to achieve a life-long ambition of flat abs just before I achieve my other long-held aim of pregnancy.
Or maybe I'll get neither.