Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Films For Infertiles

In the past I have adapted books, both real and imaginary, for the infertile reader. This time it is films.

Whilst on holiday (with A LOT of people - sixteen of my nearest and dearest) I challenged them to help me with this post.

This (in no particular order) is what we came up with:

Seedless in Seattle
The Hand that Doesn't Rock The Cradle
Mamma M.I.A
Ovary, Where Art Thou?
A Petri Dish Called Wonder
Panic Womb
Briefs Encounter
Doctor Syringelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Womb
The Impregnables
Attack of the Clomid
Born Ultimately?
Along Came Polycystic
Dirty Dozen Eggs
Blood Bothers
Cyst Act
Foetal Attraction
Poke Yer Hole, Miss*
The Sperminator
Womb Raider
Sperms Of Endearment

*Updated to Add*
Point Firing Blanks (Honoured to have had one from @mitchbenn)
St-ART Wars: A New Hope, The Endo Strikes Back, Return of the IUI (Hat's off Hairy Farmer Family)
The Rod Warrior (Are You Kidding Me going off on a porno-bent there)
Broke the Bank Mountain (The lovely Adele - I didn't add a couple 'cause I'd already used them in the Books version and I didn't get the film buff one ...)
Much Hooha About Nothing (Circus Princess knows about Hooha)
The Neverending Probing (The Cat Lady has had more than her share of probing)
For Your IUIs Only (The amazing Dr Spouse came up with loads - see the comments for more - and shows that she clearly only watches Bonds).
Clinic Royale (Dr Spouse again)
Doctor Negative (Hmm ... it is a Bond. Who d'ya reckon this was from?)

Of course some work as they are:
Mission Impossible
Crimson Tide
There Will Be Blood

And from Adele:
Groundhog Day
From Here to Eternity

@martinfitz also stuck to 'real' films:
Let the right one in
It happened one night

If you've got any others add them to the comments, or tweet them (hashtag #filmsforinfertiles) and I'll add the best ones (with a credit of course).

* This obviously is in the context of a Doctor and internal sonogram equipment, I had to reign in the group as the films got less infertile focused and more pornographic. I vetoed "Shitty, Shitty, Bang, Bang" (despite the very plausible explanation that if it is a shitty, shitty, bang, bang then they are clearly doing it wrong which could result in infertility).


  1. Love these! I'll try and think of a couple more to throw in.

  2. You all have twisted minds! (love it!!!!!)

  3. Die Another Delphys.
    StART Wars: A New Hope, The Endo Strikes Back, Return of the IUI.

  4. Along the lines of your *

    The Rod Warrior

  5. bwahahaha - shitty, shitty, bang, bang and the rod warrior. I am so amused!! :)

  6. These are hilarious. Whoever came up with "Panic Womb" deserves a standing ovation.

    Okay, a few that don't need tweaking at all: Snatch, Groundhog Day, From Here to Eternity and Love's Labour's Lost. And what about Thaws, All Quiet on the Baby Front, A Womb with no Goo, Broke the Bank Mountain...and for the real film buffs, The 400 Inseminations?

    (I know. Terrible.)

  7. I'm laughing too hard to think of anything clever! Shakespearian versiona could be "Much ho-ha about nothing", "Ovitrello", and "Romeo, Juliet & Dr. Repro".

  8. Love your list. What about The Neverending Probing

  9. From Russia with Love (works for adoption AND donor eggs!)
    From China with Love...
    From the clinic with Love
    Doctor Negative
    The IUI who Loved Me
    For Your IUIs Only
    The Man with the Golden Sperm
    Live and Let IUI
    Clinic Royale
    You Only Cycle Twice
    Goldmember (erm, perhaps I should stop?)

  10. - Let the right one in
    - It happened one night
    - All quiet on the western front

    I was going for subtle irony, once I saw 'there will be blood' was taken.

  11. That post reminds me of the blog 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility. They have a funny movie post too. http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/2010/03/786-you-had-me-at-transvaginal-wand/


I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!