I doubt many of us enjoy the prospect of an internal examination. However, there are ways to inject a little fun back into the proceedings, here are my top tips to help you go about it:
1) Prior to giving a urine sample why not eat large quantities of beetroot to give your urine a warm red glow? Or, if that is too reminiscent of your period, asparagus adds a green tinge which is bound to get the nurses talking in the staff room.
2) Next time the doctor is about to whack a thick rubber industrial-strength condom on the dildo-cam, whip out your own condom and request they use that instead. Pass the prophylactic over whilst holding doctor's eye contact as you purr: "Ribbed, for her pleasure." And then lie back tucking your hands behind your head and prepare to be impaled.
3) Or why not go really classy? Consider investing in a tattoo in the inner upper thigh region. Maybe something to commemorate the number of people that have had a good old peer up your tunnel of love.
I am quite fond of this little number:
Alternatively, forgo the need for an internal examination at all. Simply lift your top and voila! your uterus is there for the world to see:
4) Often I read about how unfair it is that we have to go through so many painful, embarrassing and hormone-unbalancing treatments whilst our men folk simply have to have a slightly awkward wank in a sterile environment. So, next time you have an internal, suggest that your partner shares the experience and hops up on the couch, face down, for his own examination. It is always good to get your prostate checked out regularly so really, it is for his own good. And remember, if your fellow really loves you, he'll be up for it without a whimper.
Sorry, I just heard the door slam...
I wonder where the husband has gone.
I think I'd better go and save my marriage, in the meantime please leave any other ideas for brightening up appointments in the comments section.