Thursday, 15 July 2010

The Results Aren't In

The results of my latest womb biopsy were due on my birthday.

I called the hospital yesterday and explained I wanted the results and to book an appointment with the doctor.

“Not a proper appointment but just to nip in for a quick chat with the Doctor.”

The woman I spoke to was somewhat imperious.

“And who EXACTLY said that you could do this.”

I told her who exactly (the Doc and the dude).

She left me on hold.

And was back on the phone five minutes later telling me I had an appointment at 12:30 on the 22nd.

“Of July?” I queried, half expecting her to say, October.

“Yes. July.”

And with that she hung up.

I was so stunned it was only later realised I‘d forgotten to ask for my results. But I reckon I can wait until next Thursday.

(Although, of course, now my melodramatic side is revving up for a big paranoia trip and I am starting to wonder WHY I didn’t get my results over the phone, and WHY I have an appointment so soon and WHETHER that means there is something wrong that they can’t tell me over the phone. But I am sure it’ll be fine. Right?)

On a different note. Thanks for all my birthday well wishes, it really meant a lot to me.


  1. She would never have given you results! You broke protocol and must be punished...

  2. That woman sounds like a bureaucratic witch. And my guess is that bureaucracy is exactly what's behind this (i.e, there's probably no news to speak of, just an officious pencil-pusher who believes she's doing her job).

    I'm glad it's July and not October, but how very, very annoying. Not what you deserved for your birthday.

  3. “And who EXACTLY said that you could do this?" indeed. Trout. I bet she's related to the stellar heifer who told us we couldn't have an appointment in May because they hadn't bothered to book us one.

    My friend who is a doctor assures me that bad/weird/puzzling/scary results get dealt with as soon as possible, and all the nice boring ones get shuffled to the bottom of the secretary's pile of Things To Type Up to mulch for a few weeks, so a delay in getting the results is probablya good thing. Annoying as hell, but good.

    (And I hate it when the NHS acts like that. Here I am, all 'socialised medicine is DA BUSINESS', and they all act like bureaucratic jobsworths. It's embarrassing.)

  4. She was probably so overcome by your wanton disregard for her rules that she felt the need to inject her own little twist and not give them to you.

  5. She did have the air of a dominatrix Areyoukiddingme ...

    Maybe it was better I didn't find out on my Birthday Adele.

    But May, that is exactly what scares me about ONLY having to wait 8 days for an appointment not 3 months.

    I hope so Amanda.

  6. Perhaps She, The Trout, is an administrator and not qualified to do anything but take out her petty frustrations on the patients. Or else she forgot, or spitefully "forgot" that you rang for those. So chances are that's all it is, and all will be well.

    You could ring back and get an Actual Human, with a bit of luck? Feel free to hang up if it's the fish again, I say.

  7. She sounds kind of horrible. Blah...

  8. Happy belated birthday, sweetie!
    Only answer is to out-imperiousness them. I've done this so often I'm now somewhat akin to the Emperor Nero.

  9. What a charming woman (not). This is by NO MEANS meant to be a defence of her, and of course I don't know what the policy is at the hospital you went to, but at the Trust I work at results are never given out over the phone. Good, bad, or indifferent, they are always imparted either face to face or in a letter.

    That said - she sounds like a trout indeed.

  10. That would totally freak me out! I'd be calling back demanding to talk to the dr. immediately! No, I wouldn't. I'd be too stunned to call back. But I'd still be freaking out! How rude!!

  11. I doubt whether they would be able to give you results over the 'phone, would they? i thought they were going to squeeze you in on your birthday so a week later must be pointing to good news, no? Only 6 days till you find's hoping for the all clear and a positive plan for the near future xxxx

  12. wow you're really having a time of it with those hospital harpees. this morning I got all my maternity scan stuff through, obviously having cancelled it all earlier in the week, and noted that they'd booked me in for an 8 week as well as a 12 week. I was paranoid percy and not even pregnant for the whole early scan thing to be relevant. i genuinely don't think they consider results giving in a dramatic "let's tell her face to face because it's so bad" I think they just think "get her off the phone, we've got more pointless inappropriately and factually incorrect letters to send out."

  13. The main thing is that you have an appointment for next week. In the meantime, try not to stress too much - about either the rude woman or the results of the biopsy.


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