Thursday, 1 July 2010

The Post That Makes Me Sound Really Creepy

My brother-in-law calls them "titty-peepers" (charming fella that he is, apparently it is a Scottishism). He is talking about those really dark or mirrored sunglasses that enable him to gaze lasciviously at ladies' jubblies whilst maintaining a veneer of enigmatic disinterest.

I find I'm using my sun-specs for a similar purpose although my gaze is a little further south. No, not that far south; I have no interest in sizing up a male package.

Instead I find myself peering at women's belly-bumps like a rampant, confused, camel. I can't help but check out potential mothers in the vicinity.

Today I saw a complete stranger walking just ahead and as she turn the corner I thought she looked a bit pregnant. But I couldn't quite be sure.

So what did I do? What does any normal, sane person do? They carry on with their little stroll and don't give it another thought.

What does your intreiped, and I'm starting to think possibly slightly unhinged, bloggist do? Yeah, I wacked on a pair of sunnies and started to stalk the woman.

Now I want to be clear. I only followed her for a tiny detour - 20 yards maximum. To be honest I could have walked that way rather than my normal route, the streets were parallel. I had no intention of trailing her for the remainder of her pregnancy and kidnapping her child. But for just a few minutes today finding out whether this woman, who was totally unknown to me, was pregnant became incredibly important.

It was like biting on a mouth ulcer or pressing a bruise. And yes, she was pregnant.

Tell me, am I turning into a crazy infertile?


13 comments:

  1. Possibly? I don't know - I tend to develop odd momentary interests in things occasionally. I peer closely at people to see what it is they're holding. I make my husband change the channel back so I can see what was on that commercial. Curiosity is unexplainable...let's go with that!

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  2. you're not crazy. just a little weird :o) while i haven't followed anyone more than 5 feet out of my way, i do check out pregnant tummy's ALL THE TIME. and i usually forget my sunglasses at home, so i'm blatant in what i do. and it's usually not a very friendly look on my face. a *scowl* is the most apt description.

    i currently hate all pregnant women bc one yelled at me last week. not bc i was checking her out, but she was blocking the doorway of the subway and her back was to me, the subway was completely empty, and there was a crowd behind me waiting to get on, yet she didn't appear to look like she was going to step in. so i merely said "excuse me" and she SCREAMED AT ME "i'm PREGNANT!!". i was so taken aback, esp bc i was really nice with my "excuse me", so i was fuming for the next 5 minutes. when it was time to get off, i walked by her and said in the nicest possible way "being pregnant doesn't give you an excuse to be rude to strangers".

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  3. Not remotely creepy. Now, had you insinuated yourself into her life under an assumed name and teased out all her darkest secrets...that might have been a little creepy:)

    I had to laugh about the titty-peepers...I use my sunglasses to peep at the big bellies all the time.

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  4. Not at all creepy, but definately IF crazy! next time can snap a picture so we can help you determine if she was pregnant or not?! xoxoxoxo

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  5. I check out pregnant bellies all the time, and I'm so glad you posted this, because I've never understood my fascination with them, and my need to KNOW if they were pregnant, estimate how far along they are, and ask all these questions in my head that I'd never dare ask in person. If you're crazy, then I am too!

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  7. Hey, just stumbled on your blog. That is a really funny story, and I think I may be guilty of doing the same thing at times! Thanks for sharing, and NO you are not creepy.

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  8. I work near a very large hospital with a very large maternity ward. The park is crawling with ladies sunning their bellies and chatting to their partners/pals/parents about the lovely ultrasound they just had in which they saw little junior wave/hiccough/thumb-suck etc. Bless each and every one of them, but yes, I stare, glumly, trying to work out if that's baby or ice-cream abuse, telling myself all the while to go away and eat my pecans somewhere less... fecund.

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  9. A bit creepy - and I've been there done exactly that too. So I must be a bit creepy too. Glad to know you weren't planning any baby-napping though. (Here in Australia, mirrored sunnies are called Oakley pervs :) )

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  10. I am obsessed with women's stomachs. It's the first place I look. There happen to be oodles of pregnant or mothering women in my neighborhood where I'm quite sure I'm known as the creepy staring girl.

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  11. The question I have is, how did you finally establish she was pregnant? Sometimes hard in those borderline cases. Don't tell me you asked...

    G x

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  12. I wouldn't exactly asy that, but I know I am guilty of staring, not following, just staring.

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  13. If I think I see even a hint of a belly, I stare, too! Usually it takes DH's elbow in my side to remind me that I've fallen into a spaced-out stare again...

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