Friday, 19 March 2010

It Ain't Over Until ... Oh

This week I had one of the most important appointments of my reproductive life. An appointment that I have been waiting weeks for, and hanging all my hopes and future babies' booties onto. So I'm sure you can imagine the one question that has been on my friend's lips, the one thing they have been asking whenever I talk to them.

Yup.


"Have you heard from T?"

Well, here she is to hijack my blog once more with the outcome:

To be honest I had already guessed the ending with a home test on Saturday and again on Wednesday – both negative. The blood test was today, Friday, but in a moment of ‘why the hell not’ I went out last night for a few too many mojitos.

So, early this morning I slink in to the clinic, feeling glum and queasy, ‘Ooh, a pregnancy test’ says the nurse cheerfully, looking in her file. Well, it’s going to be negative anyway, I shrug.

‘But have you had your period?’ she asks. Well no, I say, but two negative pregnancy tests are kind of a clue. Plus I don’t feel anything.

‘That doesn’t mean anything – I didn’t feel anything when I had my first. But you are still taking your progesterone tablets no?’. No, I reply, I stopped them yesterday, they’re horrible and slimy and there’s no point (I restrained myself from adding that last night I feasted on mojitos and unsuitable seafood, thinking that would just upset her).

‘But Madame (for this is all going on in French), you know that it does not show up in the pee until four days after we do the blood test.’ I give her my best Gallic shrug, but make an internal note to self: must pass on that little gem to the blogsterhood. (Though Liz now tells me that is nonsense – any views on that anyone?)

‘It’s true, otherwise we would just be telling people to test themselves’. Well, if you say so, but I am not optimistic. If it’s positive I will buy you all a drink.

‘Ooh great, we look forward to that! We will call you in a few hours’. Fine, I say, rolling down my sleeve, having not even felt the needle going in during this rather perturbing conversation, you have given me a shred of hope.

‘That’s good – speak to you later!’. Hmph, I think to myself, don’t you realise, how long have you been dealing with infertile women, hope is Not a Good Thing.

I leave the clinic and call my fella - Aaaahh! They’re messing with my head! We arrange to meet for lunch, and I go in to work, trying to keep a lid on that sneaky bitch Hope with the weight of grim, inevitable, reality, and some dull legal reading for good measure.

And so they call. And the inevitable happens. And I don’t mean in an ironic way. No twist in this tale. It was negative. And she tells me off again for having stopped the progesterone. But she does book me in with the Doctor on 30 March to see what happens next. In the meantime I can celebrate the arrival of spring with some more mojitos and not give a damn.

I believe the correct term is arsewipes.

But never fear, next weekend she has to put up with me and three other mates
descending on her gaff for commiserations and cocktails. The husband isn't allowed because chances are we'll be getting hot, sweaty and naked together ... which will be a good chance for them to admire my new hair-do.

***
Edited to add: I'm not sure what happened but apparently you couldn't add comments to this before. Seems to have been resolved now, so show T some love!



11 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, Madame Gigi. I wish it were a more twisted tale. Unfair, and unfair of the nurse to summon Hope, that bitch (the Hope but also kind of the nurse). I know it's still possible at that point, but still. Good luck with your 30 March appointment. Will be tuning in to see how it goes.

    Next weekend sounds FUN. Will you ladies post some live video? You could make a killing, though it might somewhat change the demographic of your readership.

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  2. So sorry to hear this Gigi. I was hoping throughout your post that there was going to be a positive twist at the end. Thinking of you and hoping that your next appointment brings about some sort of resolution. Please keep us posted.

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  3. The exact same thing happened to me in late January Gigi. There are no words of consolation - just spend some time doing all the things you couldn't do over the last few weeks, like those mojitos! It is unlikely they will let you do any more treatment until you've had three cycles, so make the most of the time you've got to do all those things you couldn't do over the last couple of months. And take good care of yourself - lots of treats!

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  4. I'm so sorry, Gigi. I wish this shit didn't have to be so hard or hurt so much. Many hugs. I hope that your girlfriend time next weekend can help lift your spirits a bit... I can imagine the ever-clever and witty Liz could do that for a girl.

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  5. I was really hoping this had a happy ending. I'm so sorry Gigi, so unfair of the nurse to lift you up when she most likely knew you would be smacked back down, while it was technically possible she would have known it was not likely.

    Liz, the comment thing is weird: I still can't in firefox but opened IE and it works. Bizzare.

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  6. Damn, so sorry, Gigi. I was so hoping for you.

    (Also, strong urge to tell nurse where she can stuff her progesterone. Also also, have had positive pee-tests over a week before anyone would have scheduled the blood test had I been having IVF that time and needed the blood-test, so nurse also clearly unaware of the great leaps and bounds in pee-stick technology this decade).

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  7. Sorry Gigi. There's nothing more annoying after a BFN than a rainbows and bunnies nurse.

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  8. Ugh, hate BFNs. And my clinic MAKES me test at home on a pee stick, 14 days after IUI rather than telling me to come in for a blood test.

    Oh how I'd love a mojito about now...

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I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!