Saturday, 30 January 2010

Thinking It Through

Thank you all for the comments on my last post. They totally reflected how I felt; happy to be moving forward but wishing I was better informed.

I didn't exaggerate the French Doctor's reluctance to share information, however, I do wonder if I judged her a little harshly. Because I do quite like her, yes she is infuriating and has the bedside manner of a scythe-wielding geezer in a black cloak, but equally she has great faith in her own expertise - which is somewhat infectious - and she genuinely seems to want to see me get pregnant (well, not literally she makes herself scarce at any of the business end appointments). There is certainly nothing malicious in how she treats her patients, rather she is a busy professional who knows what she is doing.

And maybe it doesn't really matter that she didn't give me all the answers I needed.

In Project Pregnancy I tend to think of the French Doctor as the foreman. Someone who barks orders and makes things happen whilst her minions do the proper graft.

I didn't see her once during the actual IUI's - instead I met an assortment of wand waving specialists and catheter inserting nurses.

And this time, I reckon that is the last I see of the French Doctor until I am either pregnant or an IVF Fail.

The person I am more interested in talking to now is the IVF doctor, the architect.

Whilst he doesn't do all the grunt work he is not afraid to roll up his shirt sleeves and get stuck in - quite literally. This guy is the one who identified my Endometrial Hyperplasia. He prescribed the coil, and is much more forthcoming when it comes to questions. True he is also the guy who noted that if I didn't want children he would recommend a hysterectomy - but at least I know he is going to be straight with me and tell it how it is. I trust him to be thorough and double check that my womb lining really is ready for whatever they are going to throw at it.

I also have to try and manage my own expectations. My appointment on the 18th won't be the actual start of the IVF. For one thing if my calculations are correct I will be mid cycle, if I carry on schedule the earliest cycle would be starting end of March and ovulating mid April. And I know for reading other blogs that people are often put on birth control for a month prior to IVF as a sort of rebooting exercise, so it may be later still.

So I fully expect the appointment to go through the nuts and bolts of the procedure and I am sure there will be the opportunity to get more questions answered.

I am still not quite convinced about IVF generally but that, my dears, is a whole other post.



14 comments:

  1. Wishing you the very best of luck as you embark on your IVF journey.

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  2. i used to hate the idea of IVF and was avoiding it at all costs.
    unfortunately, after many years of no protection, 2 years of 'trying' and 3 IUIs, IVF it was.
    it turned out to be a real bonding experience for my husband and me and it was nothing like the horrorshow i expected.
    and it worked. that's the most important part.
    good luck resolving your feelings on this. i have a fear of the unknown, and as soon as i understood what the plan was, and when and how much medicine i would get, how often my visits would be, etc. i was way calmer about the whole endeavor.
    xoxo

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  3. Managing my own expectations, I'm finding, is the hardest part. I keep going back and forth in my own thoughts of IVF. One minute I'm terrified of it and have no faith in it; the next minute it feels like something I have to do *right now*. Some days I feel resolved (gonna do it, y'all!) and other days I feel like I should just move one and start considering other means of family building. I'm never fully on either side. It's hard.

    Anyway, I'm here for your ride, wherever it takes you. Sending my best...

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  4. I guess that so long as the Project gets the desired outcome, its all good.

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  5. wow, 50% sounds good, yes, do go for 2 :)

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  6. Wishing you lots of luck with this next chapter. Not sure it matters if you want to invite the 'foreman' to your next holiday get together as long as you trust they know what they are doing. Looks like we'll remain more or less on the same schedule. Due to a traveling acupuncturist and my cycle we're looking at mid-March/April for the FET cycle.

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  7. You have a great attitude. One thing I have learned in this process is planning keeps you focused but always be prepared for the unexpected. Possiblity of having to wait longer for your IVF cycle to actually start, possiblility of it not working and cycle being cancelled etc. If you go in with a open mind to roll with the changes it is less stressful. Best of luck.

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  8. oops by cycle not working I meant if they get the drug dose wrong and you produce too many eggs and are at risk etc. There are many baby steps to get through.

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  9. While it's great to have the next step laid out for you, I understand what you mean that it doesn't always mean it's the one you want to take. But it really can be worth the final result...a cute bayee or two.

    I really hope this is the year for you, and that you get 2 for 1. :)

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  10. It sounds like you are far ahead in the game as far as expectations go. I'm not sure I fully understand the roles of the foreman and architect in IF speak, but as long as you feel comfortable with it all and are happy with the support is all that matters! Good luck with the wait to your next appointment...

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  11. Your French Doctor sounds like my RE. I see him only for consults, and he's generally a bit abrupt and seems eager to escape as quickly as he can. And yet...somehow he's gotten me to have faith in his logic regarding my treatment.

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  12. It sounds like you are in a good place with this. I really hope it exceeds your expectations! And I would love to hear your thoughts on IVF.

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  13. I think it's almost impossible to manage the expectation thing appropriately. I've never done it. But it sounds like the ball is really rolling and I hope you don't have long to wait (seems like most RE's deregulate with 2 or 3 weeks of birth control...so counter-intuitive).

    Just found your blog and I must say I haven't laughed this hard since this whole shitty business began. Thanks, especially for The Semiotics of Pregnancy Paraphernalia and Investigation Update (HSG).

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  14. Thanks Aplus, I need it

    Cheers Lis, good to hear someone who has been through these fears already.

    I'm on the fence too Trinity, and it isn't a very comfortable place to be sitting on.

    I guess so, Corymbia, but it is still a bit scary

    And presumably Lorna, if I have two shots that'll be 100%. Can't fail, right?

    Yeah, I won't be socialising with her Gracie! And I think we'll be on going through it at the same time.

    Paint it Black, I've learnt over the years that low expectations is always better than high!


    Well Rambler, it won't be this year, cause already looking at the likely IVF dates unless I have a premature baby it'll be 2011 at the earliest. But I get what you are saying, and cheers.

    I don't really understand the terms either, Lost in Space, just seemed like a good analogy at the time ...

    Nothing like confidence eh bunny?

    I have no doubt I'll share them soon Myprettyones

    What a lovely comment, Adele, thanks. And if you can't laugh, well the alternative is just miserable (literally).

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