My appointment today lasted twelve minutes.
I had barely sat down before the French Doc, in her inimitable manner, exclaimed she had good news and they could offer me IVF, and last year they wouldn't have been able to.
"Isn't that good?" She prompted, clearly surprised by my slack jawed response.
"Well, yeeessss" I started cautiously, opening up my note book, "But I've got a few questions..."
Suddenly I felt a bit pathetic with my copious notes but, manfully, I persisted.
I explained I was worried that even though for the last six months, I have ovulated more regularly than ever I was concerned that possibly my womb lining still wasn't up to scratch.
She shrugged off that concern with a "No, no you have been having lots of scans, they would have picked up on anything unusual. You have been very carefully monitored you know."
True, I've had more phallic instruments inserted in the last six months than a porn star at a dildo convention, but there was still a niggle.
"What about a laparoscopy?" I ventured.
"No need whatsoever." Which stopped that route of questioning.
Next I tried to couch my question with a blushing; "I'm sure you must hate people who come in having done lots of internet research ..."
"It doesn't compete with 20 years experience" she confirmed
"... but there are a few more tests I wonder if I should be having."
"We've done all the tests right at the start."
"Really? Only I looked through my notes and I didn't see any mention of thyroid testing"
"All done, all done I always do them at the start," she pulled something up on her computer to prove it. "We don't send all the results out because it is a waste of paper" She remarked somewhat cryptically. (I'm all for my hospital being green but an extra line on an existing letter...?)
"OK" I wasn't about to persevere with the other tests recommended "what is the waiting list for IVF?"
None apparently, well not once I've managed to get an appointment with the IVF specialist. Which stunned me, I have been preparing myself for a waiting list of 18 months or similar.
"And the side effects?"
"Very few. The only risks are really associated with being pregnant so if you want to avoid risk you should avoid pregnancy." Not the most helpful suggestion I've heard, but I let it pass.
And why didn't the IUI work?
"No way of knowing, I'm not going to make something up." Fair enough, another closed route of questioning.
The husband asked what the stats were. Apparently (for their clinics so bear in mind these stats aren't universal), the percentage chance of success with IUI was 14% for IVF, however, it leaps to an encouraging 50%.
I asked how many embryos were transfered (still hoping for twins). "Oh never more than two" she assured me "there is a push for just transferring one."
"I ... er ... wouldn't mind two" I stumbled.
So it seems set.
I was whisked off to book the next appointment, this time with the IVF specialist. And, although there is no waiting list for the actual IVF there is a six week waiting period to actually see the main dude.
So now, once more, I wait. This time for the IVF appointment on the 18 of March.
Fuck, this might really happen.