Saturday, 16 January 2010

In the dog house

We had some mates round for lunch the other day, with their five year old son.

The boy loves dogs.

Adores dogs.

He spent most of the day sharing the dog's bed, crawling around on his hands and knees making 'wuffy' noises.

When it came to getting the dog's lunch, he watched me prepare it asking all kinds of searching questions:

"What's that? Why does he eat that? Does he like it? Can he eat chocolate?"

I took the top off his processed dog meat.

"Is that nice?"

"No," I responded holding it out under his nose, "smell that, you wouldn't like to eat that would you?"

Gingerly, and yet with remarkable amount of speed, he flicked out a tongue and licked the dog food.

I didn't tell his parents, this'll just be our little secret.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm infertile for a reason.


  1. Family legend has it I was once so persistant in asking, my uncle fed me a dog biscuit. I wish I could remember if I liked it or not.

    I have also sampled sheep-feed, chicken-feed, and any amount of mud. Dog-food is practically Cow-and-Gate by comparison.

    (Said uncle now has several children by several women. Clearly irresponsible feeding of five-year-olds does not zap the gonads. For what it's worth).

  2. Confession: In the summer of 1987 my older brother and I shared a bowl of Go-Cat*
    I was 7, obviously mal-nutritioned and rather curious, The cat was not impressed.

    I made the mistake of sharing this info with husband once. Now I've shared it with the world!

    *For the record, at the time the biscuits tasted good.. Purrr

  3. I'm guessing that he told his parents on the way home. Too funny.

  4. Haha! Love it.
    'Tis all part of growing up. You helped the little fellow test the boundaries, be creative and experimental, and as a result in the future he'll crack nuclear fusion or win a Nobel Peace Prize, and sadly you'll get no thanks for it.

    Yes, that's most likely how things will go.

  5. Lol good job!!!
    My niece crawled into my puppy's crate and shut herself in there. I should've given her a treat though...I didn't think of that. ;)

  6. Hey, if eating mud is good for a kid's immune system, a little dog food can't hurt. Too funny.

  7. I once ate cat kibble, the dry stuff. But that was because I was so hungry because my dumb hippie parents thought it was a good idea to make their daughter "fast" as a wholist remedy or somesuch BS. Years of therapy later, I'm almost over it.

  8. Bwahahaha. Love it. My kids do this sort of stuff all the time. Immune systems rock!

  9. Thanks for a belly laugh that I needed today! Should he tell his parents you should deny it - your word against a five year old's!

  10. Serve the little bugger right... opps - maybe there is a reason...

  11. Bahahahahahahahaha! I tasted cat food as a little girl :-p

  12. Lol. And yuck! But that is so funny. Imagine if his parents had walked in at that moment.

  13. I broke into peals of laughter when you described him flicking his tongue to taste dog food. I can just picture the moment.

    Sadly though, your last line is one that I wonder about everyday.

  14. I'm sure that's not the worst thing he's eaten, probably even this week. I commend you for letting him find out for himself!

  15. That is so funny, it had me laughing out loud. You are classic my darling.

  16. Funny! LOL!
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  17. Once my friend came over with her first child, he was 3 I believe at the time. I kept showing him how to take the cat's treats and throw them on the ground so that the cat would come out of hiding and eat the treats. I showed the child this many times. Finally I gave the child a teat to throw, he took it and promptly ate it. His mother freaked but was pretty decent about it (since she couldn't retrieve it she gave him a lot of water to wash it down). Fast forward many years, now her 2nd child is born. One day she needs an emergency babysitter and is going to drop him by the house. Just before she leaves she asks me to be sure to put up the cat food so that baby #2 does not snack on the cat treats. Two things are certain, one a mother never forgets. Secondly, in my opinion child #1 never did seem that bright to me - so I can't take full blame for the cat treat incident. Same here, I wonder what my mothering abilities will be. But I think we'll be just fine, haha.


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