Thursday, 26 November 2009

Limbo

There is waiting and there is limbo.

Waiting is the two weeks between when you ovulate and when your period is due. Regardless of how inevitable the outcome, you hope. Even if you didn't have sex on the right day, part of you wonders if a stray sperm from a previous encounter is snoozing in the comfy environs of your uterus, and might awake and find its way into your egg's heart. Even if you are seized with an unshakable certainty that ovulation was nothing more than a waste of a rapidly depleting egg store, by the end of the two week wait you cannot help but wonder and dream.

Limbo happens in the days after the two week wait. The days after your first negative test, when you are suffering from PMT exacerbated by another failure. It is when your back aches, your hips creak, and you are nipping to the loo every five minutes just to check your pants don’t resemble the shower of the Bates Motel.

But your period steadfastly refuses to arrive.

Actually limbo maybe isn't the best word as it will alway conjure up images of scantily-clad women bending over backwards to achieve a physical impossibility. That is a more accurate description of what was happening a few weeks ago.

This morning, at 17 days past ovulation with no bloody period, I tested again.

I conned myself that I was only doing it because time and experience show that is the quickest way to bring on a period. But between peeing on the stick and reading the result I found myself composing a blog post. The post would emphasise how, out of all my cycles since the coil was removed, I knew this one was a write off. I would berate myself for testing two days early on Saturday and allowing myself a night on booze, it would express disbelief at the test result which would show ... and then I checked.

Of course it was negative.

But true to form less than three hours later my period finally decided to show up.

So it is back on the clomid, and an IUI appointment scheduled for the eighth of December.

Out of limbo and into purgatory?



18 comments:

  1. I think they should advertise pregnancy tests as tests to bring your period on.

    Sorry to hear that it was negative but at least it means you get the next IUI in before the end of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry about the negative. I hope the next cycle is THE one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a great post that would have been.
    What a shame. So disappointing for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sorry about the negative. Isn't it just amazing how a pregnancy test induces a period? Never fails. Hoping the next cycle brings your long-awaited pregnancy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry about the negative, but onwards and upwards so to speak for the IUI.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bugger.
    I'm sincerely hoping that this next IUI is The One.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Been there too, in fact, last March I had a positive test (apparently I am one of the less than 5% of women who hold the pregyl hormone in their system for a day or two longer) and then 2 hours later - periods!!
    Best of luck for your IUI, I know it would be your best xmas present ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Damn. Sorry. Damn again, and more damn.

    ReplyDelete
  9. our bodies can be so cruel :( I'm with the others - hoping this chrissie you get one hell of a present.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sods Law is a swine. Bugger, Im sorry to hear this.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry about the negative :-(. And PG tests really do bring on AF like nobody's business.

    Wishing you the best for your IUI next cycle and the best xmas present ever.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You've found a gap in the market there, Secret D
    Me too JC

    And of course, Twangy, the only reason it was disappointing was because I missed the opportunity to write that post. Kinda!

    Its a sure fire blood-bringer AplusB ...

    Dull, innit? Barb

    Certainly upwards Jane (can I use that?)

    Yup, Corymbia, its about time isn't it.
    Shit Lorna, at least my hopes have never been raised like that .

    Meh, Nuts, I'm not too bothered. I genuinely did KNOW I wasn't going to be pregnant.

    Ta Batty
    It would be a result and a half, wouldn't it Serendipity?

    It is indeed a swine, but at least - in a way - it put me out of my misery, Carolyne
    Cheers, Al, I'll need it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aunt Flo, cruel, cruel Aunt Flo. That sucks.

    Here's to new beginnings!

    ReplyDelete
  14. i fekin hate limbo !!!!
    Good Luck for next cycle !. xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sucks! That's why I refuse to POAS. AF seems to always show up, so far at least.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Totally and completely hear you on this. As long as you have a tiny ounce oh hope, you can trudge on. But take that away and it feels like each day is a waste. You know what is even WORSE than limbo? Being told to sit out a cycle. (Darn cyst!) Counting down 30 days because you know you can't ovulate on your own. That's how I've felt this month anyways!!

    ReplyDelete

I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!