Saturday, 7 November 2009

I Tempted Fate

"In fact the last four months have seen me ovulate on time and to order ... If all goes according to plan I should ovulate in the next day or so."

Even as I was writing those words for the last post I knew I was tempting fate. Challenging my recalcitrant ovaries to defy me, and sure enough ovulation does not appear to be forthcoming.

I've long come to the conclusion that sex for procreation is an urban myth spread by horny young men when trying to shag as many nubile wanna-be-mothers as possible. So I am impatient to ovulate, less because of the progeny possibilities, but more so I can start to plan.

Once I know when I've ovulated I can work out: when my next periods is due, when I can start the clomid, when I'll have to slip out of work for pre-IUI scans, when my December IUI is due to take place, when I can test to see if it works, whether I'll know if Christmas boozing is out for the right reasons or just-in-case, when I would have my 12 week scan, when I can announce my pregnancy to the world at large, when I'll give birth, when I'll celebrate Junior's 21st birthday ...

I had an acupuncture appointment yesterday and discussed the uncooperative nature of my ovaries.  My acupuncturist decided the time for little pricks was over, he bought out the big guns.

Four pins stuck in my stomach just over my uterus isn't enough, it seems.  He hooked them up to some battery operated system (like clipping mini-car battery cables onto the pins). Then he gave me the dial, "You should start to feel a little electric current between 2 and 4." 

At four there was a distinct fluttering.  He made me increase the current until it felt like a deeper pressure in my uterus. Then he left me to it for twenty minutes, telling me to keep turning up the dial as I got use to the sensation.

I'd like to tell you I cranked that baby up to 11 but I was petrified of feeling any pain so only got as high as a sedate 6. Whether it'll jump start my ovaries in the manner of Frankenstein's monster remains to be seen ...

Still, its nice to try something new for a change.



9 comments:

  1. Electrocution. My God. I thought my acupuncturist was a sadist for SETTING FIRE to me. Clearly, I am waltzing with amateurs.

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  2. Hmmm. That's a new one. The one time I tried acupuncture I liked it but I don't know about hooking it up to batteries.

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  3. oooooooh brave girl. I do NOT like the electric charge stuff and always completely refused to do it. haha.

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  4. I knew they used electric current to treat a number of thigns in physiotherapy, but had not realised that accupuncutrists use it too.
    Hope it does teh trick :)

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  5. My last acupuncture was electro as well! She hooked my up to two devices at four points in my back around my sacrum. Not very relaxing, really.

    I do the same planning thing as you... every.single.cycle. When will I be able to tell the world? When will my due date be? It's maddening, really. I also like to add in how far along I will be for things like summer vacation and various holidays. Just for fun, you know.

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  6. I've never heard of that but who knows right? Worth a try and maybe the shock with kick start something good! I totally identify with the planner mentality - Hope you can't drink a thing during the holidays!

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  7. it's not the most bizzare thing I've heard of people doing in the pursuit of baby... still I'm not sure if I would have even got to a 6 - pain and I are not friends!

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  9. Fire is so Stone age Nuts, my acupuncturist is thoroughly modern.

    I don't know that I would describe my feelings about aupucncture as 'like' Batty (with or without the batteries).

    I wasn't given a choice Barb

    Amanda, it did feel like a bit of a victorian electricity cure ... we'll see

    No after all the "just relax" nonsense lovecomesfirst, its a bit of a shocker when they try and electrocute you.
    Thanks Gracie, hope we both have a sober christmas and dry new year.

    Serendipity, I think m6 was still wuss level.

    Gosh Jhon, I bet you say that to all the blogs. I just wish i knew a way to delete your comment without deleting all the others. I certainly shan't be visiting.

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