“Hi Guys, thanks for coming along to this brain storm. I really appreciate it. So get your thinking caps on – it is time to imagineer.
“Right, what we want are ideas for our next big exhibition. We’ve had some real smash hits, and obviously the wedding show is massive, but then we tend to lose our customers. They come, they try on a few frocks, pick out their wedding photographer in the vain hope they’ll end up looking as good as the models in the portfolio, then, as fast as you can say ‘the honeymoon is over,’ we’ve lost them.
“What we want is a show that will keep bringing them back.
“Nah. The problem is, during a recession, people stop spending on luxuries like their homes and travel. So what we have to do is think: what will people still spend inordinate amounts of money on in these credit-crunched times?
“Yes, Jason, you are on to something there. Sex always sells. But we’ve already got Erotica. And to be honest, bondage and swinging is still a bit too niche. I want something that a large proportion of the adult population is interested in.
“How large? I dunno - if we could just get a sixth of the audience we get for the wedding show to come back, we’d be raking it in.
“So to summarise, we want:
Something that will draw back punters after the wedding show
About one in six couples
Something recession proof that will still have them digging deep in their pockets
And yeah, why not? Sex related
Oh! and what would be really good was if we could do something that didn’t involve screaming brats running all over the place.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Fertility Show.
Since writing this I have received an email from the organisers assuring me their motives are far less mercenary please read this post.