Wednesday, 21 October 2009

The Marketing Meeting

“Hi Guys, thanks for coming along to this brain storm. I really appreciate it. So get your thinking caps on – it is time to imagineer.

“Right, what we want are ideas for our next big exhibition. We’ve had some real smash hits, and obviously the wedding show is massive, but then we tend to lose our customers. They come, they try on a few frocks, pick out their wedding photographer in the vain hope they’ll end up looking as good as the models in the portfolio, then, as fast as you can say ‘the honeymoon is over,’ we’ve lost them.

“What we want is a show that will keep bringing them back.

“What’s that, Arabella? Yeah, we already have lots of interiors shows. We’ve got Grand Designs Live, Homes and Gardens and Top Drawer. I’m looking for something different, something more blue skies.

“No Carl, I don’t mean flights - we’ve booked in the Luxury Travel Show, Destination 2010 and Ski & Snowboard. Think outside the box, man!

“Nah. The problem is, during a recession, people stop spending on luxuries like their homes and travel. So what we have to do is think: what will people still spend inordinate amounts of money on in these credit-crunched times?

“Yes, Jason, you are on to something there. Sex always sells. But we’ve already got Erotica. And to be honest, bondage and swinging is still a bit too niche. I want something that a large proportion of the adult population is interested in.

“How large? I dunno - if we could just get a sixth of the audience we get for the wedding show to come back, we’d be raking it in.

“So to summarise, we want:

Something that will draw back punters after the wedding show
About one in six couples
Something recession proof that will still have them digging deep in their pockets
And yeah, why not? Sex related

Oh! and what would be really good was if we could do something that didn’t involve screaming brats running all over the place.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Fertility Show.

Since writing this I have received an email from the organisers assuring me their motives are far less mercenary please read this post.


  1. While full of useful information, and probably a good point of contact for people in the same situation, the tone of that is more than a little opportunistic I think.

    Lots of pics of cute newborns and toddlers and 1 item on the list involving men.

    Stir up the lady hormones and rake in the cash.

  2. I am... speechless!

  3. I am gobsmacked. In fact, I am lost for words.




  4. sigh.
    seriously, i don't even know what to make of this.

  5. Well that's certainly "forward thinking." Opportunistic doesn't even begin to cover it!

  6. I knew what it was going to be as soon as you said "drawing them back after the wedding show" ... then "one in 6 couples".
    I thought you were joking / making comment on the fact that getting pregnant can be an expensive, confusing business (good ol' WFI - always puts a funny spin on life's crap parts) ... and then I clicked the link.

  7. I thought this was a wind up too until I clicked the link and my jaw bounced off the kitchen table.

  8. You know when you think to yourself "well I've seen it all now"? Well that theory just went out the window. Honestly, what next?

  9. Glad you blogged about this...

    I was absolutely lost for words when a flyer for this show fell out of a magazine I'd just bought. On the one hand, I think that anything which informs and empowers those dealing with infertility to make choices cannot be a wholly bad thing. But on the other hand, this does seem a more or less calculated attempt to part some very emotionally vulnerable people from their cash...

  10. Of course there is only one item about men Xbox, when will you learn infertility doesn't affect men. Honestly!

    That's a change HFF!

    As about Nuts, what have I done?

    You too Sarah?

    Irrationalexuberance, I can see why it might be a good idea but it just smacks of exploitation.

    Absolutely Lin

    Corymbia, I couldn't have made it up.

    Sounds painful Jane

    Carolyne there'll always be something next.

    I felt the same, Ms Heathen, when I saw a poster on the tube.

  11. Wow - will they have stirrups and an ultrasound machine? Will this event hop the pond and head for NY?

    Never say never...

    They're advertising on the tube?!?!?

  12. Still a great post on re-read.
    Glad that the fertility show isn't as mercenary as this and it sound like it will really help a lot of people .... but based on it's website, it defintiely looked like a good marketing gimmick to me ......

  13. Still a great post on re-read?


I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!