Wednesday, 9 September 2009


I hate emoticons.

Hate with a passion that I normally save for inanimate objects that I have stubbed my toe on.

Despite my laissez-faire attitude towards punctuation in practice, I applaud it in theory. And I fear a time in the future when emoticons might become part of our punctuation arsenal. Imagine getting your exercise book back and the teacher has scrawled over it in red pen -

"After a jokingly abusive term you should use a ;-) not a :-), which is only used to denote feelings of pure joy."

My refusal to use them has probably lost me many a blogging friend, as I write an amusingly tongue-in-cheek response and that is interpreted literally as a straight forward insult. But given the choice of risking that or using emoticons, well ... see ya. (An emoticon at this juncture would be useful).

Today, however, I succumbed. I sent the husband a following text:

Can you make sure you finish work in a timely fashion tonight, and come home and hump me before we go out. I got a :-).

I think in the context of illustrating a smile on the ovulation test the use of an emoticon is appropriate.

The two week wait starts here.

PS I could have written something a little more subtle and seductive like, "Hey Big Boy, I've been thinking about you all day and I can't wait for you to get home. I'll be wearing just my smile.", but he'd only have assumed I'd sent it to him by mistake.

PPS Yes, I upgraded the double line test to the more expensive digital variety when it didn't give me the result I wanted. It worked!


  1. LOL. That's funny. The the part about only wearing a smile was pretty good too.
    I'm not very good at the whole emoticon thing either. Once in a while I'll use them but I don't really know all the different ones and which to use when.

  2. Have fun (insert winky face here) and good luck (insert smiley face here).

  3. Atta girl! I'm all about the smiley face ones. texts to the husband usually consisted of a picture of the smiley face with the caption "you know what that means....)

  4. I only have one thing to say to you...


  5. I'm not creative enough to figure out how to do most emoticons, so I feel your pain. Happy procreation!

  6. Well, at least your text message didn't consist of "u n me got 2 get busy 2nite".

    That kind of text message and overall murder of the english language is something that I just can't stand.

    But a huge :) to you for getting the digital tests. They are about $20 for a box of 7 here in the US. But they tend to work!

  7. Bwahahahaha.
    Possibly the funniest post ever written.


  8. I can always count on you for a good laugh. Happy ovulation day :) :) :)

  9. Love, love, love this post. So true.

    Also, it makes me wonder if I shouldn't switch to the expensive smiley kind of this double-lined bullshit doesn't work.

  10. It is a grammatical minefield, Batty

    Thanks for spelling it out Gilsner

    Nothing like dirty texts, eh Sarah. I mean that is nothing like ...

    Understood Murgdan

    Cheers Egg Factory

    Rambler, do not get me started on text speak, you wouldn't like me when i am agree.

    Corymbia, you only think that because I mentioned teachers

    Ta Mary, and back away from those smilies

    I think it was more about timing than the type of test Kelly

    Xbox, that was word for word what I wrote.

  11. Happy humping!!

    P.S. Apologies for the emoticons, I'm sure I've typed them in my comments. Note to self - must remember not to irritate WFI!! (Note the double use of exclamations which I know you also hate)

  12. I also use them way too much for my own good. My pupils even add them to their essays!


    Sorry, Grrr just doesn't covey what I want to say, so


  13. God I hate emoticons too. Hate hate hate.

    But good luck ;D !

    No, every way I turn the page up it still looks like a semi-colon and a capital d. Pfft.

  14. Oops, the above was me. Oops.

  15. Oooops, I am an emoticon whore. Sorry if my winking faces have bothered you and sorry for the future ones I know I will continue to use. Old bad habits are hard to die. (-;

    Hope this 2ww ends great.

  16. I love me some emoticons!! :)~

    Oooo, I always wanted to get one of those digital kits. Back when I naively thought I ovulated all on my own. :( But fortunately, they make Ovidrel for the likes of me! Woohoo! :)

  17. Secret D, it doesn't really bother me that much I just don't use them myself.

    Mick, see, the rot is setting in thanks to teachers like you!

    Jessica, even if you hadn't 'fessed up to a secret identity I could have guess that was my Nut In May writing.

    Lost in Space, they don't really bother me when other people use them, unless it is at the mend of every single sentence.

    Stacey, it is touch and go as to whether I ovulate on my own, looks like this month was a touch (maybe next'll be a go).


I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!