Monday, 10 August 2009

Small Faces

(<--) Smiling face: The ovulation predictor stick this morning.

Miserable face: For my scan to check exactly how well the clomid had worked I had a doctor I had never seen before. She wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs. As she roughly shoved the stick up my cock-socket she said unencouraging things like, "Have you have surgery there?" and grumbled about my bladder being in the way.

Smiling face: I nearly got the giggles when the husband caught my eye, rolling his behind the grumpy Doctor's head.

Miserable face: My right ovary was hard to locate and has done nothing worth writing a blog about.

Smiling face: My left ovary has three follicles measuring 23mm, 17/18mm and 14/15mm. (They should be between 20 and 25mm and can grow by 2mm a day so the two largest ones are looking likely and the littlest, a slight possibility). So in fact, if my right ovary had risen to the clomid-challenge that would have put a halt to the whole thing, as there would have been far too high a risk of multiples.

Miserable face: Even after finding both ovaries, and measuring my uterus lining (all good,) the doctor still managed to spend another five minutes prodding my womb with her stick, (think of the google searches I'll get from that). She was particularly adept at a pincer movement, pushing my bladder from the inside with her dildo and from the outside with her hand. I got the message! Next time I will empty my bladder completely.

Smiling face: The nurse by comparison was lovely. No, not Eunice but someone else. Whilst the husband and I were a bit white-faced, pinched smiles and clammy handed from the violation I'd just suffered, she was giggling and excited. She told me I was "going to worry them" and, before I had a chance to get concerned, she explained it was because I had responded very well to the clomid and had a chance of multiples, and was that OK? I said I was a twin myself, which made her wriggle with delight. For someone who must come across couples like us every single day, she couldn't have made us feel more special or made our outcome seem any more important.

Miserable face: I screwed up. I thought as I was coming in anyway I didn't have to call the nurses to say that I got a positive ovulation test. But apparently I should have, so the husband wasn't booked in to the lab for his private viewing of the hospital's pornography.

Smiling face: They made an appointment for him at 2pm for his palm-time, and me at 3pm for the main event.

Miserable face: I then had to go to work for a few hours.

Smiling face: Whilst the quantity of his sperm has gone down slightly in number since last time (from 36 million to 30 million per millilitre – anything above 20 million is considered fine), its mobility has increased to a staggering 94%.

Miserable face: The husband is incredibly busy at work at the moment (he was quadruple booked this morning), so couldn't hang around for the IUI itself.

Smiling face: The IUI actually happened!!! (You've got to know it is good for me to allow a gratuitous three exclamation marks.)

Miserable face: I've now got two weeks to wait before I test to see if it has worked. (No, I'm not really complaining but I need to alternate back to a miserable face and at the moment I am so far from miserable it was hard to think of anything to complain about - unusual I know).

Oh, and I need your advice. Do you reckon I should go for the belts and braces approach with a spot of old fashioned bonking tomorrow night? You know, just to seal the deal.


  1. Yay yay yay! *Dances up and down excitably*

    Right. Fingers crossed. Very crossed. And toes. Toes seem to work better, so definitely toes.

    Also, why is it some wand-monkeys treat the dildo-cam like a joy-stick? IT TOTALLY ISN'T ONE. Also, 'cock-socket' made me laugh hysterically for quite some minutes.

  2. Yay! That's definitely something to smile about. :)

    I would get in a good "old fashioned bonking" if I were you. Just for good measure. Good luck!!!

  3. I'm grinning for you! And yeah, why not go for it one more time?! I hope you see many more small faces soon... on the ultrasound screen.

  4. Awesome. The long awaited two week wait!!! Congratulations!!!

  5. Omgomgomg...YOU had an IUI! This is exciting stuff!!! Wahhhh. Finally!

  6. Good luck! And you so should "seal the deal".

  7. Whoo hoo! I can't believe it. You had such a great response to the Clomid as well. That's fantastic. I would definitely do the deed a couple times over the next couple of days if you didn't trigger...just to be safe:)

  8. Awesome!!!
    And yes, I would totally seal that deal!

  9. Yay!!! That smiley face is awesome. And yes, I vote for screwing like teenagers just to ensure the whole thing!!

  10. I have tears streaming down my face but it is definitely a SMILING FACE!!!!!!!

  11. Here from LFCA:
    Best of luck during the 2WW!

  12. Definitely bonking. Never hurts.

    Why do docs who don't know what they're doing with their equipment always blame your anatomy for their crap work? So unfair.

    Hang in there for the 2ww! May you find ample amusement and distraction. (LFCA)

  13. My doc always recommended an old fashioned bonk (not his words exactly, but...) after IUI. Can't hurt!

    Good luck during the 2WW!

  14. I would recomend the good old fashion baby dance for 2 days after your IUI. When I have IUI, I usually get 2, then the 3rd day they tell us to do it the old fashioned way.

  15. OMG! I can't believe you finally had the IUI. That is great news. Really do hope that this is it for you. Definitely yes to the additional chances of a positive - have fun over the next couple of days ;-)

  16. I'd seal the deal.

    WOO HOO for a smiley face!
    BOO to doc with the hard handed wanding.

  17. "Cock-socket" is my new favorite term.

  18. That was sneaky!

    No harm having a gentle shufty this evening, to be sure, but if you got the positive surge then the timing is as good as it gets.


  19. Yes!! Do the dance and get a few extra "boys" in the cockpit (sorry couldn't help it). Fingers crossed for you!!

  20. This is very exciting! Good luck. And, yes, go for the old fashioned bonking - can't be wrong.

  21. Thanks May, joy-stick is right - I think she forgot I was there for a while.

    I'm still smiling Lea, thanks for the best wishes.

    Maybe not MANY more faces Chelsea, just one or two though.

    Megan, do you think the two week wait will feel longer than the months that have lead up to it (I do!)

    Cheers Murgdan

    If you insist Mwa

    Hell right! WannabeMommy

    I know, Mary, after all the ups and downs I was sure the clomid wouldn't work.

    Ta HFF

    Like teenagers? Batty what be really incompetent?!

    Oh stop it Corymbia, it is good thoguh isn't it?

    Thanks ATTP, hopefully I'll be adding to mine soon.

    Only hurts if you are doing it wrong Shinejil!

    Pie, if it is what the doc recommends who am I to doubt?

    The use of the word 'usually' in your comment makes me sad, babythornburgh

    Thanks Secret D, I just wish we both got the same chance.

    Ta EWebey

    beleive it or not Kelly, I saw that delightful term in a contemporary art exhibition in Ireland last week. It sort of stuck with me.

    What you think keeping people guessing about the outcome until the end of the post was sneaky, Xbox? Where could I have learnt a trick like that?

    Out of the cockpit surely, Sandy

  22. And thanks, Reluctant Housewife, now get back to the ironing.

  23. So thrilled you are back in the game again and am adding a huge smiley face for you!

    An extra romp can never hurt anything. What's better than a little free naughty sex that might actually make a baby (or 2). (-;

    All my best to you!

  24. Yay, that is so exciting! I just had my first IUI this cycle, too, so I know the feeling. I hope the tww flies by for you.

    And, yes, I think you should have sex the day after the IUI.

    Good luck!

    (here from LFCA)

  25. Yes, definitely bonk! DH and I sealed the deal each time. Which, come to think of it, hasn't actually worked for us so far. But I still like sealing the deal.
    Congrats on the IUI! Woohoo!

  26. Hope you went for the bonking. :) Motility and follicles? AWESOME!


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