Thursday, 6 August 2009

I Cracked

I have returned from my flying visit to Ireland.

It was the first time I have ever been to the Emerald Isle, which is surprising as the husband is half-Irish and spent his formative years in the country, so I have often had a small bit of Irish in me.

Landing in the home of the Blarney Stone, our disembarkation from the plane was delayed whilst each passenger had a good chat with the airline staff, as opposed to the normal, cursory “Goodbye". I came to the conclusion that County Cork is actually short for: ‘County, oh for goodness sake! Put a Cork in it.’

The journey from the airport to our destination, was hampered by the fact that Irish cartographers seem to take a liberal attitude to accuracy and don’t consider it essential to mark every road. However, the upside of the diversion was the stunning countryside that we drove through. The hype is right and, much as it pains me to admit it (considering some of my readership here) it is a stunning country. And I think I may have found my next home.

So it was just the boss and I, away for an over-night trip.

We went out in the local town last night. A town of about a thousand residents with eight pubs, which I’m told is a fairly typical ratio of pub to inhabitant. First pub: just lemonade, second: coke (a-cola), by the third my willpower disappeared. At the bosses’ entreaties I launched myself off the wagon and succumbed to having two glasses of wine.

Just two glasses. My body is still a temple, but possibly with a Bacchanalian bent.

And I know what you are thinking.

It’s a business trip, I'm being plied with booze. Could a spot of ‘How’s Your Father’ be his aim? It was never going to happen. Hopefully, my ovaries are currently going into clomid-induced overdrive so the last thing I am likely to risk is a spot of ‘How’s Your Father’ turning into a game of ‘Who’s The Daddy.’ *

Tomorrow morning I get my first crack at peeing on a stick, to see if the clomid has kicked in. Because of this, whilst it is unlikely to have started so early, I need to ensure that the husband’s sperm are an optimum age – not too old, not too young (2 to 3 days old is good). Which put me in the unusual position of having to text him last night to remind him to: “have a quick one off the wrist”.

So whilst I couldn’t resist the craic, the husband was busy cracking one off in every room in the flat.



*Just in case that caused eyebrows to rise I want to assure you that I only put that paragraph in because a) I wanted to subtly remind you that my ovaries should be gearing up for ovulation, b) I wanted to use the phrases ‘How’s your father’ and ‘Who’s the daddy’ and, c) I’m really not his type, on account of having my (albeit defective) reproductive organs inside my body rather than dangling between my legs.**

** Note the use of the Oxford comma in that last sentence!


9 comments:

  1. That's my territory that is!

    My personal favourite is the passport control at Cork airport. If you wear rubber soles you probably won't wake him.

    I'm being told to look ater myself a lot these days too. Hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oxford comma! I think I love you!

    Also, laughed head off at entire post.

    I love Ireland. They do not shut up. It's so nice to be somewhere where everyone talks more than I do. And the green! It's so green! Not kidding about the Emerald stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey just found your blog and I like it - of course Xbox would be here.

    Anyway, for my actual comment: I LOVE Ireland too, and I totally think Oxford commas are sexy. (We have so much in common, I can tell. :-) )

    ReplyDelete
  5. It is precisely because it is your territory Xbox, that it pained me to say how lovely it was.


    Nuts, I always remember one of the first posts of yours that I read included a wee rant about poor punctuation and grammar and ever since I've worried about how painful reading my blog must be, so I am delighted that you enjoyed the comma.

    Just writing your name, Mwa, is like an air-kissed greeting, hello. I'll check out your blog and see how much we have in common.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "so I have often had a small bit of Irish in me"
    Now that's just mean! *giggle* *snort* He might not like you calling his Irish bit "small"!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Major blog brownie points from me for seamlessly fitting the line about having "a bit of Irish in [you]" into the blog.

    Meanwhile, I'm Not Asking About Irish bits and Eggs or follicles or such ... but I am hoping everything is going well in that department....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Stacey, I wondered if anyone would notice the "small", naturally that is simply because he is half-Irish half-Scottish so the small is proportional ...

    I thanks you Corymbia, as far as I can tell nothing is happening in that department, but I shall know more tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "quick one off the wrist". Love it! Not sure I've heard it phrased like that before around here. :)

    Also wanted to present you with an award. You can stop by my blog and pick it up!

    ReplyDelete

I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!