Monday, 31 August 2009

Great Sexpectations

I've mentioned this fact already here, but I've got to reiterate this statistic:

"Couples not using contraception have, on average, about an 18% chance of conceiving normally ... Couples having sex more than twenty times a month have around a 35% chance."*

Note to the folk who know me in real life and have already expressed disquiet at hearing about my sex life, look away now.

The rest of you: let me tell you my plan.

The way the NHS works is that I get one go at Interuterine Insemination, a month off, another shot, month off, then a final go. So here I am in the in-between month and, rather than rest on my laurels, I intend to spend it lying back and thinking of England.

The bedroom has been rechristened the lovenasium, and the activity du jour is sexercise.

The husband was delighted when I told him my plan, warning him that he would be on a strict every-other-day sex schedule. His enthusiasm was somewhat diminished when I had to clarify that the only notches on his bedpost would be related to me. But he has manfully risen to the task.

Starting out, the prospect is sexciting but I fear by the end of the month I'll be sexhausted.

*A Child Against All Odds, Robert Winston, 2007


  1. Ahh Robert Winston - so on the ball I could throttle the man!
    Hope the plan goes well. Regimented nookie though? Hope the husband is more receptive than mine!

  2. I'm not going dignify that statistic with a response, just go for it.

  3. You will be sexhausted. Very sexhausted. Good luck!

  4. My hub was very put off by a schedule. Lucky you!

  5. Yea, stupid fuckin schedules....glad your husband is excited about it.

    Fingers crossed!

  6. I told H this statistic. He gave me a LOOK. Not a promising LOOK neither. Must go nag him some more.

    Courage, ma brave!

  7. I scoffed at that statistic at first because I was sure we've been doing it that much... But I am humbled to say we top out at 15 on our most ambitious cycles. Good luck!

  8. Yes, Carolyne, regimented but with the veneer of spontinaity.

    Will do, Xbox

    Hopefully it'll help me sleep tho', Megan

    Barb, mine doesn't have a choice.

    Sarah, he might not be for much longer ...

    Nuts, tell him it is science.

    I doubt we'll get much over 15, Oh Baby, any more and I just don't think the sperm'll have time to regroup!

  9. 20 times a month, gosh that is a lot!! I dont think we have ever done it 20 times a month!!! I tried to set a schedule and DH struggled to find it exciting. Good luck and have fun!!

  10. Sexhausted...well said! Good luck and FX!

  11. I think we passed the 20 times a month phase of our relationship around nine or ten years ago.

    As for your plan, as we say here in Ireland, go on, ya good thing!

  12. Yep, you will definitely be exhausted and I will personally deliever you a medal if you manage it!

    Every month we say that we will do it 'every other day' and then something gets in the way or, it gets to the point where you have just had enough or, you start to feel like crap because you're a week away from your period.

    Good luck!

  13. My DH was all for it at first, too. By the third week, I had to use a cattle prod to keep him awake. I can send you a used cattle prod at a discounted rate ...

  14. I'm sore just thinking about this. Have fun girl. You are much more of a woman than me. LOL.

  15. Nic, I'm not sure we've done it 20 times in the last year still I'm girding my loins...

    Fun corymbia? Fun? This is work!

    Cheers Lin, FX? What's that then?

    Jane, 1999 was a good year.

    Secret D, I think an ice pack would be more appropriate than a medal.

    That sounds handy Stacey, handy and kinky!

    Lost in Space, aye there might be a bit of chaffing.

  16. Laughing at this. Sexercise. How great is that.


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