Monday, 24 August 2009

The Change I Need (Or, mixing my political metaphors)

For two years and eight months I lived under a regime more effective than the Chinese communists when it comes to preventing a population explosion.

During the last six months I have been tirelessly campaigning for a healthy womb lining. But I knew I had to wait for the removal of the old hormone-administration before there could be a massive swing towards pregnancy.

But I saw a change coming. A change I could believe in.

A change that had me full of hope.

The IUI promised so much.

Everyone was saying the right things.

From the ovulation test that gave me the signal to 'go' bang on schedule. The Clomid, whose hustings of my eggs bought the perfect number to the polls. The sperm that rallied round in their tens of millions to, seemingly, assure a landslide victory.

I even managed to harness the power of the internet. Through this very blog I received a massive ground swell of support from people who also were looking for a similar change.

However, like so many politicians, this IUI has promised much and delivered nothing. A test this morning confirmed yesterday's negative. I am now waiting for the sea of blood, that will join the tears and despair.

But this is merely a set back to my campaign. Despite the massive cross-Atlantic smear campaign that has targeted the National Health Service, I still trust it to deliver. I have two more attempts at IUI to come.

So yes, this time I've suffered a catastrophic beating and the optimism polls have slumped to an all time low, but I will get up and head back onto the campaign trail.

Hopefully, I won't have to wait long before I can carry a full-term.


  1. I'm really sorry to hear that it didn't work for you, this time.

    Really hoping that you don't have to wait too long before you can give it another go.

  2. I know you were hoping for a landslide victory and I was hoping for it for you. You might be down in the polls, but you are not defeated. You will rally and win. (((hugs)))

  3. So sorry that the IUI didn't deliver a promised. Hopefully round 2 is the ticket! (((HUGS)))

    Extremely clever post, btw!

  4. I'm so sorry you didn't have the outcome you'd hoped for...but glad you have a great attitude about the hope for future cycles. Fingers crossed that you get your positive next time.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear that it didn't work for you this time...I've been there.But please remember my story, it's a rollercoaster of emotions but in the end it worked. Never give up, please.

  6. So sorry it didn't work out this time, and heres to tons of luck next time :) Hang in there...

  7. I'm sorry you didn't have first timers luck, I was really hoping for you. I hope the 2nd times the charm!

  8. Oh, that sucks. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you aren't giving up though! Sending good thoughts for the next one.

  9. Aw. So sorry. Do not let this get you down or I'm coming around to give your dog a kicking. NEXT TIME is the charm. FINGERS CROSSSSSSSSSSSSED.


  10. Oh, no. I'm so sorry sweetie. Have a drink or five and then go get your clomid refilled and get ready to start again. This will work, soon!!

  11. Sorry to hear that lovie. As Mary said, have a nice big drink for yourself and get ready to fight the good fight again. You will get there soon xx

  12. Fuck.

    Sorry. But yes, back up and at it again, the only way.

  13. I have tears in my eyes as I read your post, I am so sorry this was not the one that took (this time). Please do not give up (mentally or emotionally), it's hard I know, I had so many negative tests, and finally my positive. It will happen for you!! I remember a long time ago someone said to me, that you get so upset for all the times you didn't get pregnant. Finally the day comes and you are in the hospital after delivery, you look down into the face of that little baby you waited for and you think "this was the one I waited for, this is my baby". You will have that day, and that little one will be your baby, the one you waited so long for. I keep that in the back of my mind, that one day I will finally meet my baby. I know you will too. So up the clomid, get a good acupuncture day and move forward. We are all thinking of and cheering for you.

  14. Gaa, so sorry. I've been there, felt that. Probably gonna feel it again. It sucks. :(

  15. I'm so sorry that it dodn't work this time. By your post I'm assuming the IUI is on the good ol' NHS?
    Hoping the crimson bitch comes and moves on swiftly ready for the next attempt.

  16. Oh, sweetheart. Fuckity. Fuckityfuckityfuckity.

    Next time, my dear. Next time. I will cross my fingers EVEN HARDER. They will be white, with no blood flow AT ALL.

  17. DAMN. And hugs. And damn damn damn. I so wanted this for you.

    You are a funny, funny, clever lady. I laughed all the time my heart was aching for you.

  18. I get a period off and then back on it, Secret D, I just hope I don’t go irregular and have a 93 day cycle again …

    Yeah, Deb, winning first time would have been too good to be true.

    Thanks Lin

    AplusB, Cheers, I have to keep positive!

    Leo, well I won’t give up just yet … !

    Ta Amber, I’ll take that luck

    A Few Good Sperm, Yeah I’d be happy with second time.

    Ta, Kelly, shit happens.

    Thank you Lea,

    Caroline, you stay away from my dog, if it was the husband you were offering to kick – well fair enough …

    Mary, I’ve got a month off the clomid and then back on the drugs.

    I hope that goes for both of us Jane (the getting there rather than big drinks).

    I’ll put my back into it next time Xbox!

    Cheers Anon (Texas?) I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.

    Yeah I’m not alone in this Stacey

    Yup Carolyne, three shots on the NHS which is pretty good.

    HFF, don’t tell me it was your fault for not crossing your fingers hard enough. Damn it.

    The feeling is mutual Nuts.

  19. This is Texas (not the previous anon). I agree with previous anon though ... your baby is still baking. And for whatever reason, it's just not ready to be concieved yet.

    But it will. You just have to keep taking the steps.

    I don't really have anything eloquent or meaningful to add because I know it just royally sucks. The whole process sucks.

  20. Hugs honey. Just hugs.

  21. Shit.

    I'm sorry.

    The disappointment can feel paralyzing.

  22. I'm sorry, I was really rooting for you and waiting for "The Results Post". This month was still better than when you still had the coil in. It was a bit more hopeful. Although I can understand that hopefullness you were riding on feels kinda crappy right now.

  23. I'm very sorry sweets. Suckiness.

  24. I would so vote for you.

    Sucks I know, but like you said next round please. xoxoxoxoxo

  25. Ah, shit.

    I'm sorry sweetie.

  26. I'm so sorry, hun. Not what I thought I would see here at all. Many hugs. We're here when you need us.

  27. Argh. So I guess your verdict on IUI is a bit shit right now. Crap you have to do it all again.

  28. I'm so sorry that this one didn't work, but really admire you for staying positive and moving forward to the next one.

  29. I'm so sorry. Relax and recharge and try again!

  30. Crap. I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.

  31. Texas G, How could I confuse you? It does suck.

    Ta Corymbia, I need them

    Yup, Murgdan, but I’m not going to let myself falter.

    The thing with the coil is no hope means no disappointment, Rambler, oh well…

    Cheers Barb

    Wishing 4 One, join my campaign team and we can wish for one (or two) together!

    That sums it up Sarah

    No, Lost in Space, I was pretty convinced I wouldn’t be posting this either.

    Paint it Black, my verdict on IUI is it needs a couple of attempts – but I’m not ready to give up on it yet.

    Cheers Ms Heathen, it has been a while, hope things are going well with you and the little one.

    Will do, Megan

    Thank you Battynurse

  32. damn. So so sorry.
    just found your blog via LFCA and while I am so sad to have "found" you while you are dealing with this crap news, Your writing is amazing and I will be adding you to my reader and hoping, hoping, hoping for you

  33. Ugh, it sucks, I'm so sorry.

  34. So sorry to hear. Each negative is its own loss. I hope you get a positive soon.


  35. I am sorry it didn't work for you. I know how you feel, but I am very hopeful for you for the next time!

    (from LCFA)

  36. Wow, cheers Calliope praise indeed.

    It does Pie (or should that be 3.14159...)

    Hey Kate, here's hoping.

    Yeah, Sonja, I think quite a few folk from LFCA know how I feel, its rubbish isn't it?

  37. much belated but I am so very sorry. I may have moaned about the NHS but I also have a lot of faith in them, I hope your next steps are given swiftly.


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