Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Shuffling off this coil

This morning started off well.

I put my inability to sleep prior to Doctor's appointments to good use, and went for a pre-work swim.

Refreshed and reinvigorated I dressed scantily and went to work for an hour and then slipped out for a 'meeting' thus ensuring my young protege had no inkling of the seismic changes going on in my life.

As I walked to the hospital certain omens of doom started to present themselves. A cab was cut up by another driver and the cabbie in a voice that spoke of a heritage of cockney market traders shouted:

CUNT

Out of his window. I was the only pedestrian. It felt pointed.

Then it started to rain. When I had left work it had been sunny and it is no exaggeration to say that the dark clouds were converging directly over the hospital. In a film I would dismiss it as too much, in real life I shuddered.

Then yet another battle with the receptionist:
"Your name isn't down. Do you have a letter about the appointment?"
"No, I booked it over the phone, with Eunice"

Even the magic name elicited no response from the receptionist who continued to stare at her computer screen as though my name would magically appear and she could allow me across the threshold.

It didn't.

I maintained a calm exterior whilst on the inside my brain was imploding.

Mr S., the doctor I had the appointment, with strolled by. I grabbed him. He told the receptionist that, and I quote:

"It was probably one of those appointments I made in my head and didn't bother to write down."

Holy fucking shit!

But luckily he remembered rearranging the appointment and whisked me off.

Moments later he was elbows deep in my tunnel of love. The husband’s eyes glistened as he looked on. Whether it was with pride, or his eyes watering at my … um … capacity is debatable.

And he was quick on the draw, he whipped the coil out faster that I can remove a tampon. He held it aloft for a moment and, considering it had been bedded down in my uterus for six months (and one day), it looked pretty clean. This, he declared, was a good sign.

Allow me to stray from the narrative for a point of interest, the coil is not coil shaped. Instead it is Y shaped, or to use a not coincidental medical term, uterus shaped.

Where was I?

Ahh, yes, once again I got to make love to the camera and he checked whether it had done the job. And this is where the news is frustratingly inconclusive.

My womb lining needs to be 4mm, it is 4.1mm which he says is good enough.

But, he said it just looked a bit 'bright' on the screen. I guess from years of scanning women he knows the exact shade the lining will show up at and this was a bit different. So once again I get a biopsy marked as: Urgent.

He said I should get the results by the end of this week (which is NHS speak for next week) and then we can go on to the next stage.

The next stage was discussed in a meeting with Eunice afterwards. She talked us through everything, answered our questions, and took her time.

I won't go into it all now, but essentially assuming the biopsy comes back with the all clear there will be no faffing. I'll start clomid, which will bring on super-ovulation and ten days later they start scanning to see when to shove some of the husband's finest in my womb and we can, hopefully, start making babies.

I didn't ask what would happen if the biopsy results weren't good, that is on a need to know basis only. And I hope I never need to know.

As we left Eunice the husband turned, and said possibly the understatement of the year: "She's good, isn't she?"


20 comments:

  1. That sounds like a step forward to me. But WTF with the NHS appointments system?! Connecting doctor with patient seems about as difficult as connecting little spermy with egg. It needs the perfect mix of advance planning and random luck. Thank goodness for Eunice. Thinking of you, G xx

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  2. Woohoo on coil-be-gone!!!!

    Here's hoping and praying that all is good with the biopsy and you get to some baby-making!

    THANK GOD for Eunice!

    Hugs

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  3. Super, smashing, great! The coil has finally gone. I am so excited for you (lack of activity in my own life means I have to get excited by other people's baby making!!) I really hope that the biopsy is OK so that you can move on to the next stage.

    I was holding my breath as I was reading your post because I was so worried that you were going to report some bad news. And breathe.....

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  4. Glad it's finally gone and I hope that the biopsy results are all clear for you to get going.

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  5. Hooray! Biopsy aside, it sounds like things went really well. Keeping everything crossed for super-ovulation and a super baby in the very near future.

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  6. Congrats on being coiless!!!

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  7. Gross, XBox.

    Congrats. I refuse to believe that any bad news will come your way. Tell husband to get his finest in marching order.

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  8. Thanks Gi Gi, hoping for better advanced planning and more luck next.

    Ta Jenn, I hope so it has been long enough.
    Secret D, I was holding my breath for the most of the appointment too.

    Thanks Battynurse, me too.

    Me too Lea, everything crossed except my legs.

    Ta Megan, i've uncoiled at last.

    No, Xbox, but I did once get to take an extracted tooth home. Which was nice.

    In that case Chelsea, so do I. It'll be all good from now on.

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  9. Ah, DH is definitely crushing on Eunice."faffing" is a funny word.  I like it.  I'd use it but I'm afraid I'll use it in the wrong context ...Hope the biopsy comes back great and you guys are on your way!

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  10. This coil stuff is interesting! I'm going to have to look into what that is for specifically. I'm just starting the Infertility Process, so I'm a newbie.

    I just stumbled upon your TTC blog while looking for others going through the same thing as I am! Would you mind if I followed you, and you could follow my blog too!
    www.babyschetky.blogspot.com

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  11. Out with the coil and all praise Eunice...again.
    Forget the biopsy for a minute, this day was a major step forward for your reproductive health at least and that deserves a "Wa hoo"

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  12. I've got everything crossed that that cloud of doom disappears for good.
    Thank goodness for SuperEunice.

    ...and that reminds me, my coil is due for its 5 year grease and oil change.....

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  13. Wow, that's fantastic (except for the 'cunt' and appointment bit)

    "take it home" ha ha

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  14. Wow....and things just keep moving in the right direction. One slow step at a time.

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  15. Stacey, context; "I didn't do much work today, just spent it faffing with this and that."

    Hi Julia, Welcome, the coil certainly isn't for everyone (in fact quite the opposite of what most people ttc need!). I've got it because on endometrial hyperplasia, I'll check out your blog ta.

    PiB, yeah, you're right a little 'woot' is in order.

    Ug five years of it Corymbia ... but you were right, the side effects do disappear.

    Ta Mick, but I am more interested in your news just now.

    Slowly does it,'Murgdan', there is certainly no rushing in the game.

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  16. I'm delighted for you that the coil is out, so fingers crossed with the biopsy. At least you have one big step in the right direction.

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  17. DING DONG THE COIL'S DEAD! YAY! :)

    I hope you never need to know as well. So many good wishes.

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  18. Buh-bye coil! Lets get this party started:)

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  19. Eh, all this borderlinery. I'm excited and hopeful and sorry all at once. Also, I want to steal Eunice.

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