A trip usually goes something like this.
I spend half an hour standing on a sweaty bus into town. Because I am not a sophisticated shopper who goes for 'investment pieces' the places I choose to buy from involves having to plough through crowds of disdainful 14 year olds to get to the the clothes. Once there I pluck an item from rack. Of course, thanks to the multi-national corporations that dominate the high street I have no idea whether the size on the label is UK, European or American. I take a punt, and am usually wrong.
Then there is the queue for changing room. The fight with changing room curtain, which I eventually lose and try and change in the shielded part of the room rather than in front of the gape.
As I struggle into clothes I discover. (Delete as applicable, one always happens):
- My head is in the arm hole
- I can't reach the zip
- There is a nasty ripping sound
- The item is a tent
- The item is made for a Barbie doll
- There is a smear of foundation all over the head hole - and it isn't mine
- If it is a dress the top bit is too small and the bottom bit too big
- The trousers are too long
- There are too many straps and I can't workout which bit goes where
- Someone in the next door changing room comes out wearing exactly the same garment and looks 20 times better.
Generally as I am trying to get back into my old clothes I'll catch a glimpse of my underwear clad self in the full length mirror, and spend five minutes pushing my stomach out, slouching and pulling faces. Generally trying to make myself look as vile as possible. I don't know why.
So I pull my old clothes back on. I get grumpy. Too hot and bothered to try anything else on and leave shops grumbling.
That is the normal MO.
However yesterday something unheard of happened.
I went in early to avoid the crowds, I only went to two shops. In the first I tried on and bought pair of trousers reduced in the sale. In the second I found a last dress. It was a dress I had seen before and liked but was too expensive. It was in my size and it fitted perfectly and it had 60% off.
It was only when I got home I realised why today was so different.
Turns out I was channeling Audrey:
Exhibit A: The Capri Pant
Exhibit B: The Classic Shift
My Fair Lady or Funny Face? I don't care, but I'm happy.