Have you seen Casablanca?
You know the opening scene in Ricks? The camera swoops from table to table we hear "waiting, waiting, waiting. I'll never get out of here" and from elsewhere "The trucks are waiting, the men are waiting ..."
Although I have just a few weeks to go before I get a crack at being impregnated that opportunity feels as elusive as their exit visas. So near and yet so very, very long to wait. Time is crawling.
And there is another parallel. In Casablanca the clientele of Rick's are trying to get to Lisbon because it is only from there that they can travel further afield away from the Nazi's. For me I'm waiting for IUI but the real destination will take many, many months more to reach, actually giving birth.
It can feel a bit self-indulgent to be so focused on one thing. And I know that in the scheme of things the troubles of two people trying to conceive doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. But I am fed up with waiting and I will do all it takes to get pregnant because if I don't I will regret it, today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life.
Here's looking for you kid.
Oh, and I mentioned a while ago that I was reading a book A Child Against All Odds by Robert Winston (remember the one that said you needed to hump like bonobo's to get even the remotest chance of fertilisation because we humans aren't built for reproduction - makes me reconsider the whole meaning of life). Anyway, I've written a review of it for Fertility Authority - if you want to check it out, see how good I am to you even reading books for you so you don't have too.